English Teaching Puns

It was lit

And when my dad learned what nickname means, he went like, 'Nick have name and it's nickname!' And chuckled.

It isn't funny but I thought I should post it here.

...and that’s why she’s always grandmatically correct.

At the word bank

It was D-grading.

Student: “Hey can you check this to see if it’s right?”

Student hands me their writing.

Me, holding their paper upside down: “well, first of all, it’s written upside down.”

And then I give it back to them and walk away as if nothing happened.

Teacher: “What will next week’s test be on?”

Class: “Confidence intervals and….”

Teacher: “No, it’ll be on paper.”

Class: “Ugh…”

Teacher: “And how long will it be?”

Class: “Umm, like, ten questions?”

Teacher: “No, 8.5 by 11 inches.”

Class: “Goddamnit.”

I'm teaching English in Korea and we were practicing the expression "how do you say X in Y" in class today.

Student - How do you say 미안해 (mi-an-hae) in English?

Me - "I'm sorry."

Student - That's OK.

My cousin's girlfriend (CGF) is a primary school teacher and last night we were discussing her class size and the subjects she teaches.

Me: "How big are the classes you teach"

CGF: "ive got 28 in english and maths, 30 in science and 28 in topics"

Me: "What on earth is topics?"

CGF: "oh its stuff like history, R.S, Art, Geography and all that stuff"

Me (With the biggest grin on my face holding back laughter): "OH, THE HUMANITIES"

my girlfreind and CGF groan, me and cousin laugh and high five.

Sidenote. My couisn is one of the biggest dad jokers ive ever met, so he really apreciated the terrible joke.

So, I teach Spanish at a small liberal arts college in the Carolinas. This morning my basic Spanish class was going over a reading comprehension exercise about a clothing store called "Corona." Corona means 'crown' in English. The ad had all kinds of words dealing with royalty, kings, and so on in it, and I wanted to go over the double meanings. So, to start, I asked them, "¿Cómo se dice 'corona' en inglés?" To a student, they all answered, "Beer."

I groaned and dismissed them five minutes early so I could laugh without them seeing me.

Background: I'm living in Germany and have a German roommate who can speak some English. He did Realschule (completed 10th grade), but mostly ditched classes. I try to teach him when I can and vice versa.

We were watching Walking Dead. The episode was right after the prison gets stormed. Rick and Carl lock themselves in a house, and Carl ties a knot that he's super proud of... Blablabla... A few minutes later, knot is quickly falling apart as zombies try to break in.

I absentmindedly said: "Cool knot, bro" Roommate: "(K)not cool, bro"

I just looked at him with a mixture of surprise, pride, and wondering still if he knows what a dad joke is.

So, let's see that report card. Hmmm. Not so great this term, eh? Maybe you should have bought some tutor mice.

What are tutor mice? You never heard of tutor mice? No wonder. There's this elf, see, and he trains mice to teach kids different subjects. You buy one mouse for math, another for English, and so on. Each mouse you buy is a guaranteed A.

And the best thing is, this elf doesn't have a shop or anything. He comes to you. All you have to do is sing the song.

What do you mean what song. Everybody knows the song. You just have to sing it like you really mean it, and he'll pop up and sell you some mice. Like this:

♫I'LL BUY MICE, E-E-ELF...♫

♫DON'T WANNA 'B'!♫

♫I'LL BUY MICE, ELF!♫