it is getting better.
Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"
Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.
He said, "Well, that's your Pinyin".
I'm almost their.
She is a pronoun
The teacher said, "no, you're gonna study Ozymandias, ya Bysshe."
A spelling bee.
*insert laugh track here*
To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, "They're, their, there..."
My girlfriend's mom was opening her Christmas gift when her sister asks why the wrapping paper says "Snow time" on it since there is no snow this Christmas.
I immediately come back with,
"Because there is snow time like the present!"
They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.
Dad: How do you pronounce that one?
Me: Falafel?
Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..
Daughter: (Face palm)
.
EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.
.
and again..
.
Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.
Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.
Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)
Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)
and as I'm holding my month-old daughter I say: I can't run because of my knees.
And after a few seconds, my wife says: "She's not your niece, she's your daughter."
Me and my brother were astound and pissed ourselves laughing.
P.S. I'm U.S., she's Croatian, she never learned English in her entire life.
Him - "This stuff is easy. My son in grade 6 is learning how to translate shapes right now."
Me - "I didn't realize there was a difference between a French square and an English square."
Took him a moment, but he groaned and shook his head. I saw the smile he was trying to hide.
When I was in high school, I babysat 2 boys (who at the time of this story, were aged 7 and 10) for some extra cash. One day I was eating dinner with the family when the younger brother said that he couldn't wait to be in the fourth grade like his older brother.
"It's not that great," said the older one. "Once you're in the fourth grade, you have to read a bunch of books for a summer reading log and write a report on one." (In my county, there are mandatory summer assignments, the most common ones are English assignments.)
Their dad said, "Summer projects are good! They help stimulate your brain over the summer! If you don't brush up on your education for those three months, you could lose all of your smartness and never get it back!"
Older brother: "Yeah right. And how did you find that out?"
Me: "Well, they do say that firsthand experience is the best way to learn."
I’m almost their!
