Ella Mills Puns

Stats for the most popular names for boys and girls came out recently in Norway and I thought I'd share! You'll find the names here and/or on the table below

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

LA DIVINA COMMEDIA

di Dante Alighieri

INFERNO

Inferno · Canto I

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita

mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,

ché la diritta via era smarrita.

Ahi quanto a dir qual era è cosa dura

esta selva selvaggia e aspra e forte

che nel pensier rinova la paura!

Tant’ è amara che poco è più morte;

ma per trattar del ben ch’i’ vi trovai,

dirò de l’altre cose ch’i’ v’ho scorte.

Io non so ben ridir com’ i’ v’intrai,

tant’ era pien di sonno a quel punto

che la verace via abbandonai.

Ma poi ch’i’ fui al piè d’un colle giunto,

là dove terminava quella valle

che m’avea di paura il cor compunto,

guardai in alto e vidi le sue spalle

vestite già de’ raggi del pianeta

che mena dritto altrui per ogne calle.

Allor fu la paura un poco queta,

che nel lago del cor m’era durata

la notte ch’i’ passai con tanta pieta.

E come quei che con lena affannata,

uscito fuor del pelago a la riva,

si volge a l’acqua perigliosa e guata,

così l’animo mio, ch’ancor fuggiva,

si volse a retro a rimirar lo passo

che non lasciò già mai persona viva.

Poi ch’èi posato un poco il corpo lasso,

ripresi via per la piaggia diserta,

sì che ’l piè fermo sempre era ’l più basso.

Ed ecco, quasi al cominciar de l’erta,

una lonza leggera e presta molto,

che di pel macolato era coverta;

e non mi si partia dinanzi al volto,

anzi ’mpediva tanto il mio cammino,

ch’i’ fui per ritornar più volte vòlto.

Temp’ era dal principio del mattino,

e ’l sol montava ’n sù con quelle stelle

ch’eran con lui quando l’amor divino

mosse di prima quelle cose belle;

sì ch’a bene sperar m’era cagione

di quella fiera a la gaetta pelle

l’ora del tempo e la dolce stagione;

ma non sì che paura non mi desse

la vista che m’apparve d’un leone.

Questi parea che contra me venisse

con la test’ alta e con rabbiosa fame,

sì che parea che l’aere ne tremesse.

Ed una lupa, che di tutte brame

sembiava carca ne la sua magrezza,

e molte genti fé già viver grame,

questa mi porse tanto di gravezza

con la paura ch’uscia di sua vista,

ch’io perdei la speranza de l’altezza.

E qual è quei che volontieri acquista,

e giugne ’l tempo che perder lo face,

che ’n tutti suoi pensier piange e s’attrista;

tal mi fece la bestia sanza pace,

che, venendomi ’ncontro, a poco a poco

mi ripigneva là dove ’l sol tace.

Mentre ch’i’ rovinava in basso loco,

dinanzi a li occhi mi si fu offerto

chi per lungo silenzio parea fioco.

Quan

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill