Electrician Birthday Puns

Hi all! My boyfriend's brother is an apprentice electrician. He has been studying and working in the field for maybe 2 years or so, but is very passionate about it. Right now, he is pretty much just working a lot, and we are spending his birthday with him. I'd like to get him something that he could use at work (he likes tools and whatnot) but I know less than nothing about what tools or accessories would be a good gift. As an example, for Christmas I got him a bluetooth speaker that clips onto stuff and he said it has been awesome at work for a whole host of reasons. Can y'all recommend anything you think would be good??

TL;DR need a good birthday gift for an electrician and open to recommendations

She has all her basic tools, but any new or handy gadgets would be great

Throwaway account, also using fake names. On mobile bare with me.

I (14M) have 5 siblings. Sam (18M), Lucy (16F), Bella (13F), Jasmine (11F), and Danny (9M). Sam and Lucy are my half-siblings and Bella, Jasmine, and Danny are my full siblings.

Sam and Lucy have a different father than the rest of us, and spend mostly every school break at their fathers house with his family.

When they are gone, I (as the oldest child in the house) have to babysit the younger ones when my parents are not home (they work a lot). It's mostly just Jasmine and Danny that need babysit, as Bella watches herself just fine.

Whenever I babysit I'm expected to be downstairs in the living room to keep an eye on Jasmine and Danny. Doesn't matter if I had plans, I'm always stuck babysitting.

Both of my parents work. My mother runs a business from home and my father is an electrician.

Over the winter break from school, Sam and Lucy were staying with their dad, so I had to babysit as per usual. But it was for longer and more often than normal. Like, hours on end multiple days in a row. I had to cancel plans with friend suddenly just to babysit.

I know that babysitting is important and my siblings need someone to watch them, but I barely got any time to relax during my break and only got to see my friends once. One time over the whole 2 week break, and that had been planned ahead by about a month as it was a birthday party.

One day about a week ago, I was getting ready to go out with my friends to the park, when my mom walked in and told me I had to babysit, again. I had babysat for the past 3 days for at least 6 hours each day.

I asked my mom why she couldn't watch Jasmine and Danny and she told me she needed a break from them. I told her that dad was home and asked why HE couldn't watch them. My mom didn't have any excuse and just told me to watch them. My dad came into the room to see what the fuss was about and told me to listen to my mother and just babysit.

I told him "No, I'm not babysitting. Neither of you are doing anything, I've had to babysit Jasmine and Danny for the past 3 days, and I already have plans."

My dad told me that saying no wasn't an option and I didn't have a choice hut to babysit.

I said that I don't get any time to hang out with my friends and just be a kid anymore. They're stressing me out constantly and making me watch their children for them.

My dad said that they really needed me to babysit, but I told him tough luck, they either treated me fa

People say you’ve got to show up to get lucky, but they leave out the part where luck runs both ways. Since I was laid off from my last job, money has gotten tight - unemployment insurance doesn’t pay nearly as much as I used to make, so my two boys agreed to get jobs at the local mega-mart to pay for their phones and games. We also have a couple of kitties who are quite accustomed to flights of Fancy Feast and the deluxe robot litter box that scoops and cleans on every visit. There’s no white picket fence, but we do have a minivan. It comes in pretty handy for a family of five.

 

You won’t find a tragic backstory on me being a single father. My wife ran off one day and we never heard from her again. I guess that’s tragic in a sense, but it’s hard to be sad when I’m pretty sure she was riding the bartender at her old job. So many late nights, so many times she came home just before or just after sunrise, until one day she didn’t. The boys miss her, but they’re getting used to it, or maybe they’re getting too old to confide in me.

 

I’m also a veteran, US Navy. No, I wasn’t a SEAL, and I never even met a guy from DEVGRU. I was an electrician’s mate, but I didn’t learn much more than how to change lightbulbs and swap outlets. When I got out, I ended up getting a job at the power plant, thanks to creative resume writing and a healthy dose of bullshit. This was back in ‘04, when people were still proud to be fighting. Maybe the manager thought it was his patriotic duty to hire me despite my lack of real qualifications. It probably helped that I had just gotten married, with one kid in a crib and another in the oven. What I’m getting at is I haven’t been unemployed in so long that I’ve been feeling lost.

 

About a week ago, I got an email from a headhunting company that asked if I wanted to interview for a position as an independent contractor doing “alternate disposal remedies”. That was probably code for trash collecting, so I agreed to the interview. No shame in being a garbageman, as long as you’re not a garbage man. The recruiter assured me this was a modern, nontraditional company, and she advised the interview would be informal and casual. That worked for me since the only suit I had was in the attic, stuffed in a box. I hadn’t worn it since my brother’s funeral, and I had no designs on working in management. What can I say, I’m a blue collar guy.

 

It was early in the evening when I pulled

As I (18F) handclean and vacuum the entire floor, I started wondering- wtf am I doing??!! For my entire life I have taken care of my family like I’m their mother. I load and unload the dishwasher, vacuum the floor, do laundry, clean my sisters room, grocery shop, take my sister to school and pick her up- name it and I probably do it. I recently discovered that my father does not know how to do laundry, so of course I do EVERYONES laundry. All for a weekly allowance of $30, which I’m grateful for don’t get me wrong, but most of it goes to waste when my mom asks me to bring her fast food.

My mom works a 9am-5pm as a bookkeeper (if she gets up at all) while my dad works a 5am-3pm (electrician), so I get up at 6:30 and take my sister to school. After this, I come home to a disgusting house. Coffee spilt everywhere, mud on the floor, dirty dishes everywhere- I feel like I live in a pigsty! I’m severely OCD (diagnosed) and do not like feeling dirty, so I do my best to uphold the house by myself. I have complained that I’m not the mother, just to be told “why do you think we had kids?” Or “at least I pay you!” I was supposed to go off to University but I’m now an online student at community college because “that university was too far! I would miss you so much and cry everyday!” I try my best to get a job but when I did in the past, I had to get rid of my dog because he was too much for her to deal with while I was gone. I pay my tuition and books with money I’ve saved from birthdays and graduation gifts. I want out of the house badly, but everytime I try I’m told I can’t- no explanation.

I find myself cleaning my sisters room every other day because she never does it. She leaves food to mold and rot in there, even though she isn’t supposed to have food in there. You can hardly see her floor after 2 days of her being in there. She is 11 and doesn’t brush her hair either. I sat down yesterday for an house trying to detangle her mats while my mom yelled at me telling me to be gentle.

Now onto my mom. She comes home and immediately throws her clothes on the floor and gets angry at us for anything we do. In my house, if we talk too loud or make a noise she doesn’t like we get yelled at or called names. She often says that I do nothing around the house if I forget to do the dishes or laundry. She often says it isn’t her job to babysit us, but she does nothing after work and just sits on her ass.

This got a little ranty, but I do not have any friends to confide

Do your worst!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

They’re on standbi

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.