what did the egg say as he was about to hatch?

this is so egg-citing!

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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How do fish eggs know when to hatch?

It’s whoever is next in the roe-tation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedrichardsphd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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My mate

An old friend of mine decided one day that he would have a go a keeping chickens. So he bought a hen house and his first chicken along with very handsome Cockerell Three weeks later his chicken had laid a clutch of eggs and the old hatched out successfully but one little chick just kept growing and growing. He took it to the vet who assured him that although rare for that particular breed there was nothing to worry about After two years this chicken was five foot nine and weighed in at ten stone three pounds. So my mate had what he thought was a brilliant idea. He hitched the chicken to the front of his car and decided he would train the chicken to pull him in the car. This went on for about a month and my mate had saved a fortune in petrol costs. Then one day as he was travelling to work the hitching rope snapped and the chicken was away up the motorway never to be seen again. My mate was distraught and stuck in the middle lane. The police eventually came out and said "What's the problem Sir?". My mate, by now in floods of tears because of his loss said "My big hens gone!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocin400
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A mathemachicken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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I told my brother my egg hatched into a Bellsprout in Pokemon Go

"Sounds like you had a seed, not an egg."

It took me a few seconds to understand the joke, then I respectfully rolled my eyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DwelveDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2016
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I got a rooster on 2018's Valentine's day.

Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.

We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?

So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.

I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbiterInqui
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I was out for a group ride and my friend noticed I never got out of the saddle on climbs

He said β€œI haven’t seen you get out of the saddle once in the last 30 miles, are you hatching an egg down there or something?” And I said β€œYou know, if you keep giving me crap about this, I won’t stand for it!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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In old days it was considered very lucky to have a hen lay her eggs near the inside of the entrance of your house

As soon as a person walks in and sees this, they would know to expect good luck and fortune from the owner of the house and the whole family, but only if all of the chicks hatch and are all healthy. Every time you left a house, it was considered good luck to look at the hen, and wish it well to have all of its chicks born happy, healthy, and for the hen to live a long life. This is why they call it an egg-sit!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonmeservy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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Dad's chicken suggestion.

I was working with my Dad to convert a small garden shed into a hen house for our chickens when he added, "we probably should add another door."

"Why? We only need the one, and we already have a hatch on the side to get to the eggs, do we really need another access door?"

"Well, then it'd be a 2-door coupe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JVonDron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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My son, dad in waiting

My son is almost 3, he has started wrapping himself in the towel after bathtime, crawling into a ball and declaring he is an egg.

"Mummy sit on me to make me hatch" etc. He says in there for really long and then bursts out chirping, however yesterday he burst out and said :

"I'm an EXPENSIVE baby chick"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/created4this
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2016
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Dad joked at the theater [GotG after credits spoilers]

After the credits rolled in typical Marvel fashion, we had an easter egg, of Howard the Duck.

"Looks like the easter egg hatched, otherwise we wouldn't have seen Howard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aybaran
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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