A list of puns related to "E.g Of"
Halloween is approaching and I am making some punny tombstone decorations, in the spirit of Disney's Haunted Mansion cemetery. I thought it would be fun to collect some new ones from the reddit community. Here are Disney's crypt puns. Please share any additional ones that you can come up with.
Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.
Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?
Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.
It gives me a case of the E G B Gs
Male friend of mine, [Elton], is bi, told me about a crush he had on a guy he'd met through wilderness backpacking (relevant), and how he doesn't think he has a chance. Having no other information and an IT guy's policy of checking the obvious things first, I asked the dumb questions, via text.
>Me: So you're sure he's into guys
>Elton: Y E S
>Me: Okay, okay, just getting that straight
>Elton: A N G E R Y
>Me: But yeah, given everything else you've told me, I think you've got a chance
Me: Presuming he also knows the lay of the land
Elton: N O
Elton: S T A H P
I don't know why he keeps coming to me for relationship advice.
Last night at a restaurant, my son started to spell out things he wanted. Wether it was to annoy us, or keep my 4 year old daughter in the dark on the different kinds of ice cream, he succeeded on both fronts. Anyways, my wife goes "Enough, stop!". And he proceeds to go " e-n-o-u-g-h s-t-o-p". Then I chime in and say "one more time, and your in trouble, you are very annoying, use your words".
After a blank look on his face for a few seconds, the kind he and I both get when we are plotting something, he looks at me and simply says..... " Okay"
A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
Dad: "There's a bottle of beer in the fridge there if you want."
Me: "Nah I'll have a can of Belhaven. Do you know why?"
Dad: "Why?"
Me: leans in closer and with a cheesy grin "Because it's Best..."
Note for non-Scottish people: Best is a type of beer e.g. Belhaven Best, Caledonian Best.
We were wondering what the most advanced calculator was that we can still use in exams.
Our teacher showed us a calculator with a lot of advanced features (e.g. differentiation, integration, matrices) and said "You're allowed to use ones like these but I don't think you can have graphing calculators."
To which I said "So that's where they draw the line."
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