She wanted to make a formal complaint.
At first I was afraid; I was petrified.
I was immediately kicked out.
Steven, he works in Accounting.
Then it dawned on me...
He must be one of those plane clothes cops!
Itโs like shooting fish in apparel.
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
The cops finally nailed him.
Manikin Skywalker!
CHEW CHEW CHEW BACA CA
He told me, โOh that? Itโs just a bit of holiday spirit.โ
It was in disguise.
When I her asked why, she said it was because their "Stupid Cauliflower Licorice Tastes A Lot Like Dog Shit."
It became a fright train.
I thought it was pretty straight forward.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
I heard he had a whale of a time
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
I won despite the many neigh sayers
I told him, โI can plainly see your nuts.โ
Another party attendee challenged me, saying "no way is your costume a harp".
I replied, ">!So, are you calling me a lyre?!<"
Invitation said to look sharp.
They called me a madman
I think they took me for granite
I was hoping the costume would have a more Commie-dick effect.
He's got a real Devil-make-air attitude.
I'm dead serious.
It should be called Avant Garb?
Santa: โHey Rudolph! Youโre looking fly today!โ Rudolph: โOh Santa, you sleigh me!โ
Aunt Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt!
Me: You didn't ruin it, you turned it into a tea-shirt for me!
Every single time he saw him he yelled out "FOUND HIM!"
