I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
Mine is 'Remodelling her husband', the one and only film Lillian Gish directed starring Dorothy Gish.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
They’re on standbi
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Pilot on me!!
I found this online and thought it was really cool.
Actors and Movie Stars: Tallulah Bankhead, Kathy Bates, Jacqueline Bisset, Brenda Blethyn, Lara Flynn Boyle, Delta Burke, Raymond Burr, Kim Catrall, Richard Chamberlain, Stockard Channing, Patricia Clarkson, Frances Conroy, Dana Delaney, Bo Derek, Portia DeRossi, Dame Edith Evans, Linda Evans, Barbara Feldon, Ralph Fiennes, Eva Gabor, Greta Garbo, Ava Gardner, Gloria Gaynor, Lillian Gish, Sharon Gless, Jeff Goldblum, Hugh Grant, Kathrine Hepburn, Bonnie Hunt, Julie Kavner, Madeline Kahn, Charles Laughton, Linda Lavin, Laura Linney, Carole Lombard, Jack Lord, Hattie McDaniel, Roddy McDowell, Ian McKellen, Kristy McNichol, Steve, Martin, Melina Mercouri, George Michael, Helen Mirren, Esai Morales, Mike Myers, Bebe Neuwirth, Kim Novak, Bernadette Peters, Ginger Rogers, Winona Ryder, Patrick Swayze, Marlo Thomas, Lily Tomlin, Christopher Walken, Mae West, and Betty White.
Artists: Mary Casatt, Judy Chicago, Leonardo DaVinci, Spike Jonze, Rene Magritte, Georgia O’Keeffe, Man Ray, and Norman Perceval Rockwell
Musicians: Louis Armstrong, Ludwig von Beethoven, Maria Callas, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Daryl Hall, Lionel Hampton, Georg Friedrich Handel, Debbie Harry, Elton John, Patty Loveless, Christine McVie, Freddy Mercury, Stevie Nicks, Anita O’Day, Minnie Pearl, Bonnie Raitt, Lou Reed, Luther Vandross, Yanni, and Dwight Yoakam.
Other Performers: Bob Barker, Margaret Cho, Ellen DeGeneres, Margot Fonteyn, Martha Graham (choreographer), Alexander Godunov, Jay Leno, Wink Martindale, Anna Pavlova (dancer), Jessye Norman (opera singer), Rudolf Nureyev (dancer), John Ringling (founder of Ringling Bros. Circus), and Wanda Sykes.
Journalists & Authors: Scott Adams (cartoonist), Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, Nathaniel Branden , Anne Bronte, Don DeLillo, Helen Gurley Brown, Leo Buscaglia, Simone De Beauvoir, Julia Child, Emily Dickinson, T.S. Eliot, Kurt Godel, Terry Gross, Nicole Hollander (cartoonist), Samuel Johnson, Helen Keller, Dean Koontz, Jerzy Kosinski, Philip Larkin, Bill Maher, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Margaret Mitchell, Eugene O’Neal (playwright), Joyce Carol Oates, Dorothy Parker, Ann Patchett, Beatrix Potter, Edgar Allen Poe, Ayn Rand, Diane Sawyer (TV news anchor), Maurice Sendak, Gertrude Stein, Eudora Welty, Edith Wharton, Walt Whitman, August Wilson, Virginia Woolf, and Emile Zola.
Athletes: Althea Gibson, and Grover Cleveland Alexander
**Politicians & Government Fi
... keep reading on reddit ➡Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
