I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Buenosdillas
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
So... How do I even start to write this down. I am currently incredibly frustrated and don't know what to say. I watched Dr. K's episode on why restricting video games as a parent is damaging and boy let me tell you that video applies to me like a fist to the eye (german saying).
Okay, deep breaths... It all started when I was first introduced to gaming when I was like 10 years old. All my friends had a Wii and I was fascinated by the Mario universe and went to their house to play as often as I could. Needless to say I wasn't allowed to get one myself. Well that's a lie. My brothers and I got an original Wii as our first console in 2016 for christmas. Well yea, a bit late but we still had a blast playing on it.
But back to the story. When my 2 brothers and I were younger we used to get beaten by my dad for things we did behind his back. Like for things like PLAYING plants vs. zombies. And I will never forget that, ever. We had the house to ourselves and sneaked on my dads laptop to play this really cool browser game of pvz. But then suddenly he stood in the door frame shouting at us and smacked us in the back so hard it hurt for a long time. Mentally I don't think I recovered from it and I don't know if I EVER will. This didn't just happen once. We were never allowed to have games on our phone - I got my first phone at 15 - because he couldn't control them. For years and years we always managed to get around the "boundaries" he set for us and every time he found out, he was incredibly disappointed in us. At one time my brother didn't get back his phone for a WHOLE year.
Now here is another problem. My dad knows his way around tech. And I mean he literally is a SOFTWARE engineer. So he did everything in his might to stop us from gaming. He set up parental controls on our phones, checked our browser history for games and set up child protection on our router. I was like 16 and my second oldest brother 14. Every time he did restrict us though we would somehow be able to cheat the system. Like going into safe mode and uninstalling the control app or figuring out the access to the router and so on. This has been going on for as long as I can think.
Attempts of conversation have been made. And not just one. After he once again discovered our secret, we had a long talk about our house rules and bla. Long story short, he wants to control what we play (Shooter or any violent games are off limits), for how long we play (90 min a week at the age of 16) and how
... keep reading on reddit ➡Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
Sexual discussion makes me uncomdortable. I found this word today and its exsactly what i have so i knew where to ralk. The problem is i keep getting pulled into conversations where people are involving me in their sexual discussions. I have explained i am uncomfortable and it never switchs. I have had people be sexual to me as well, and have said several times im uncomfortable. It makes me really emotional lately, cause i don't know what to do anymore and nobody listens. I've tried grining and bearing it but i just get really afraid and start internally panicing. I tried explaineing on the asexual sub and i got told to stop trying to control others. Nobody gets it im not over here demanding people don't have sex im just asking for people to involve me or put me in the middle of their private lives. And i don't know how to get them to understand because stop and im uncomfortable doesn't seem to work. Im about to yell at someone the next time they do it why? Im so tried of it and i dont get why people willingly and knowingly pull me into this while being aware of my feelings the fuck? Is this just me do i just have crap luck?
[Removed]
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Him: I can explain everything!
(It's his best joke yet I think)
