Don't ever challenge Death to a pillow fight
If you do, you must be prepared for the Reaper cushions.
π︎ 235
π
︎ Feb 26 2022
Donβt ever argue with triangles
Theyβre either too obtuse or think theyβre always right.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 07 2022
Why don't French people ever eat two eggs for breakfast?
Because one egg is un Εuf
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Nov 18 2021
Why don't ants ever get sick?
Because they have ant-y bodies!
π︎ 42
π
︎ Mar 16 2022
Why don't the Easter Island statues ever go anywhere?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 09 2022
Why don't vultures ever check bags at the airport?
Because all they need is their carrion
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 11 2022
If you ever receive any emails about canned meat, donβt open them..
π︎ 25
π
︎ Feb 21 2022
Donβt ever blame anyone for what side of the road youβre on..
Thatβs your own Asphalt.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 01 2022
Iβve seen my share of there, their, theyβre mistakes but you donβt ever see very/vary.
I guess those kinds of mistakes donβt very vary often.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 10 2022
The greatest Dad joke ever told: so Moses goes to the top of the mountain and God presents himself and his glory to Moses via the burning bush. Moses is confused though and says to the heavenly father "I'm bewildered, I don't know what to call you?"
So God says to him "Hi Bewildered, I AM".
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 30 2021
Why don't the galactic police ever pull over light for speeding?
Because they consider light to be of no matter.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 24 2021
Don't ever tell an egg secrets...
They always crack under pressure.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees?
Because they are really good at it π¦π€£
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2022
Why donβt cannibals ever cook noodles?
π︎ 105
π
︎ Oct 01 2021
Why donβt skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have nobody to go with.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
Why don't you ever see waiters at an aquarium?
Their job wouldn't serve a porpoise.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 11 2021
Why don't lambs ever make the first move?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 16 2021
Why don't werewolves ever know the time?
Because they're not whenwolves
π︎ 118
π
︎ Jul 19 2021
Why donβt ant colonies ever get sick?
.... because theyβre full of anty bodies
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
If anyone ever asks you to spell part backwards, DON'T DO IT
π︎ 206
π
︎ Jul 03 2021
Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't hide electrical cables
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 07 2021
Dad : Don't ever befriend bad people, Son.
Son : But Dad, who'd befriend me then?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 05 2021
Don't ever take a job that requires enlarging holes with a drill bit
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 19 2021
Ever since the pandemic started, every morning I proudly announce to my family that Iβm going for a jog and then I donβt...
Itβs my longest running joke of the year so far...
π︎ 12k
π
︎ May 27 2020
I would like to personally thank my Student Loan provider for getting me through college
I don't think I can ever repay you
π︎ 550
π
︎ Apr 16 2022
I hadnβt used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I donβt mean to brag but this is the single greatest post Iβve ever made on reddit.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Why don't celebrities ever complain about being hot?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 03 2021
Why donβt oysters ever share their pearls?
..theyβre just shellfish
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 22 2021
I don't know why anyone would ever want a pocket calculator..
It's really easy to count how many pockets I've got.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 19 2021
Donβt ever make Sodium angry.
Otherwise youβll be charged with aggravating a salt.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Why donβt photons ever need help with their luggage?
Theyβre traveling light.
π︎ 89
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
You notice how you donβt ever see rich owls?
They all work for an owly wage
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
My 3 year old made this joke, I don't see it ever mentioned online
What is a cow's favorite drink?
A:a smoooothie
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
Don't ever try eating a clock if you're in a hurry
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Don't ever start a pillow fight with Death.
You can't handle the Reaper cushions.
π︎ 581
π
︎ Dec 06 2021
Don't ever get into a pillow fight with Death.
You just can't handle the Reaper cushions.
π︎ 337
π
︎ Sep 04 2021
Why donβt ants ever get sick
They have small Antey bodies
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 29 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 04 2021
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding behind trees?
Because they are good at it
π︎ 301
π
︎ Jun 29 2021
Why don't you ever see pigs hiding in trees.
Because they're good at it.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Sep 24 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
π︎ 146
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it....
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jun 20 2021
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Well, they're just really, really good at hiding in trees.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 08 2021
Why donβt you ever see hippos hiding in trees?
Because theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 25 2021
Why donβt you ever see elephants hiding in palm trees?
π︎ 52
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees
because they are really good at it.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
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