Last weekend I went to a dog zoo with my kids.

They only had one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbsmth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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We got a new dog at the weekend, he only obeys commands in Spanish....

He is Espanyol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clarknova77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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[OC] What did the Canadian say when he kicked off his weekend by stepping in a pile of dog poop?

It's Saturday, and it's a turd, eh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J4K0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was. "Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said. She said, "Rectum."

"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2017
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Thank you r/dadjokes/ for preparing me for life

Over the weekend, while working in the yard, a neighbor walked by and asked if I had seen their dog. I told her I hadn't, but I would keep watch out for it.

A little bit later a police cruiser pulled up and asked if I had seen a shih tzu. I told them that there was one in Columbus and one in Cincinnati, but they were both pretty good. The passenger rolled his eyes, but the driver literally laughed out loud. The dad was apparent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiacTD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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Got my own dad yesterday during fireworks

My dad, my brothers, and I have been at our family farm (we don't live there) for the weekend of the 4th. Last night we were outside shooting off fireworks, as any real American does on the 4th. About 50 feet in front of the house is a 4 foot high fence. My dad discovered that one of the cracker launchers we had fit perfectly in the upper part to launch the crackers into the air at an angle. Always the cautious one of the bunch, I responded to his idea:

"I dunno dad, I'm on the fence about this one."

Naturally, my brothers congratulated me on how lame my jokes were and told me to go inside and make more hot dogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/degco44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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Dog gone it dad

My dad and I were at a work friends house for a party this past weekend. We learned our friend had a terrier named Bear. My work friend asked if anyone needed drinks, since it was hot on the deck. As the owner went inside, bear followed him, and squeezed in after our friend shut his sliding glass door. His wife said "oh man, the dog almost didnt make it." My dad without missing a beat goes "I guess you can say he BEAR-LY made it." Dadgum it dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shorty-jenkins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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