I can't use toilet paper that has a picture of a dog on it

it's way to ruff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awkward-Ad6455
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2021
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How do dogs take pictures with their phones?

They use pawtrait mode.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wherethegoldat
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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I saw a picture of a dog that had four prosthetic legs.

He has faux paws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Someone's used indelible pen to scribble a picture of a dog on my wall!

It's a Sharpei.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gil-Gandel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I caught my dog drawing pictures...

Shouldn’t have gotten a labradoodle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/countryroads8484
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Who takes pictures of dogs?

Pupperazzi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noelrv
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I messaged my grand dad a picture of a dog underwater wearing a scuba suit...

I told him I thought he might need a subwoofer. He then responded, "That's deep." How do I respond so I don't lose this battle?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeOldeStonebox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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A jogger sees a man in the park throwing his dog's toy in the trash. He stops and asks the man why he's doing this. The man says, "The ball has a picture of a dog printed on it." The jogger, still confused, asks what's wrong with that?

The man replies, "Something about it feels wrong, dude. It just feels like CanineBallism."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackcatjazz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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I sent my parents a picture of me shaming my dog for eating a 5 dollar bill

My dad said she had expensive taste

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yimjames
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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What do you call a person who takes pictures of dogs?

A puparazzi or a photodographer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maisy1st
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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[x-post /r/funny] my Dad decided to dress up the dog and stage a picture for Facebook

http://i.imgur.com/FfF1hYX.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinnycogs820
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2014
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I sent a picture of our new dog to my Dad..... Classic.

I text a picture of our new American Bulldog to my dad.

Dad: Where are his legs?
Me: He's sitting down and it's a weird angle!!
Dad: Oh good I was thinking he would be hard to walk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyEyesMcGee
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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One of my friends sent me this...he'll make a great dad one day! :')
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trickkey49
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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Honey Story

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fishamaphone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Putting the dog down. :(

Background: Our family puppy has been wearing a diaper lately before she gets fixed.

As were taking the family picture, my brother is holding the dog like a baby for one of the pics, and my mom says β€œokay one picture with you holding the dog then were putting her down.” To which my dad responds β€œAwww, we don’t need to put her down, we just need to get her fixed.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HagridsManhood
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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Saw a friend at a 4th party with her dog, hilarity ensued

She was holding a small female Shitzu and my friend wanted a picture with her and her dog, I snapped the pic and my friend says "I got my picture taken with two beautiful women" to which she replied "Oh my dog is only 4 months old" Without hesitation my buddy says "Well I guess the makes me a PET ophile then" Many LOLs were had, Ive had to listen to him tell this story 50 times since hehehe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Payador
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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Dadjoked my girlfriend.

She's dog sitting for her sister, and sent me a picture of the dog chasing a Frisbee she threw with the caption "dog sitting :)."

I responded with "no that's a dog running." She was amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smidgens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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Laminate Dad Joke

Me and some co-workers were looking at some Pergo flooring with a picture of a big dog on it. I voiced my opinion that it must be a Great Dane. My friend, who will be a great father one day, said, "Dunno man, it might just be a Good Dane. A Bad Dane even."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EJRWatkins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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