Dodge Truck Puns

Fiat Fullback, Nissan Navara, Toyota Hilux, Volkswagen Amarok, Isuzu D Max, Ssangyong Musso

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

But all it had was a few pictures of dodge trucks.

My Dad: Mom and I are disagreeing...is your truck a Chevy or a Dodge?

Me: Haha it's a Dodge, the other two were Chevys

My Dad: Oh, I thought it was a Chevy. Well, orthopedic shoes...

Me: What? Orthopedic shoes???

My Dad: Yes!

Me: What the hell do orthopedic shoes have to do with my truck? Hahaha

My Dad: Orthopedic shoes...I stand corrected!

Me: facepalm and groan

Love you, dad!

At breakfast this morning: Dad: I was reading New Scientist, and they were looking into how crows can survive swooping in front of vehicles. Apparently they use a sentry, while another swoops in to collect the roadkill.

Me: Oh, that's pretty cool

Dad: Yeah, but they don't dodge trucks.

Me: Why's that?

Dad: well, when the sentry see the car it goes "Caaarrr, caaarrr!". But they can't say truck if they see one.