Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..

..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Qualekk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Barry Allen thinks about his past

A Flashback

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClaRkkkkk5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"

One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
"Son, do you think we should find an expert to guide us in our trek up Mt. Everest?"

"Sure, pa."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearfeedmitch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Daughter, showing me a drawing: What do you think I should call my dolphin?

Me: β€œMaybe Shark”?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiFiGuy197
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

Me: Cats. Cats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 601
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you ever wonder if a cow thinks her calf who won't nurse.....

Is an utter disappointment?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
[OC (I think)] What do you call the child of a civil engineer?

A truss fund baby.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/acarp6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you think lizard people...

are on Santa's Illuminati list?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lukesestir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?

Income-plete.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you think Moses makes his tea?

Hebrews it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
do you think the builders used a pic for reference?
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooopd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDo you think our kids are spoiled?”

I said, β€œNo, most of them smell that way.”

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, β€œSo what do you think of The View?”

I said, β€œWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife said, β€œI think I lost my datebook. Do you know where it is?”

I said, β€œI think..you may have a hidden agenda.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you guys think of german sausages?

I think they are the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exotic_Breadstick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think space aeroplanes will ever be a thing?

Because personally I can’t see them ever taking off.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/argotrevor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg! :)

(Sorry if this isn't as funny as the other jokes here! I just can't help but crack a smile when I hear this one. It's so cheesey and adorable to me! So I figured I'd try and share it with you all! Have a nice day!)

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has just gave birth at the hospital. I pulled the doctor away for a minute and asked "how soon do you think we will be able to have sex?"

He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think birds ever plan out their day?

Or do they just wing it?

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m_aurelius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:

"I shuriken"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XxQuarterizexX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think rowers have a favorite side to row on?

Or is it an either oar situation?

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think they measure the weight of bones?

They probably Skel-a-Ton at a time!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?

iWood

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derpy_ninetales
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Driving behind a hearse, my wife asked β€œHow fast do you think a hearse can go?”

Me: I don’t think very fast at all

Wife: Why not?!

Me: Well I mean they have all that dead weight in the back...

Literally a conversation we had last night. She actually laughed out loud!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroWeDeserve87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!

It was a relief

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of house do you think you can pick up!?

I’m not very bright but I’m pretty sure I can pick up a Light House!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When do you think humanity peaked?

Well, after we invented the wheel, it was all downhill from there.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?

or with pajamazon?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think Shakira calls her body guards her shakiraty guards?
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you think your gun is broken

Trouble shoot

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superninja04
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Son/Daughter: Hey I got a haircut! What do you think?

Dad: Looks like you got them all cut.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was on a family vacation in Japan when I slept in one day. My dad flung open my door and told me to wake up. I said, β€œDad, what do you think this is?...

...the Land of the Rising Son?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Campagnolo412
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

An itheberg.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable

With an eyeth-berg

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/delphikis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”

β€œA cat” I said. β€œCats love fish.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think glass coffins will become popular?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDo you think our kids are spoiled?”

I said, β€œNo. I think most of them smell that way.”

πŸ‘︎ 662
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

An itheberg

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/behaviorisathing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an Ithberg.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an ithe-berg

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzysax241
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LorenaBobbedIt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDo you think our kids are spoiled?”

I said, β€œNo. Most of them smell that way.”

πŸ‘︎ 146
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife: Honey, do you think our kids are spoiled?

Me: No, I think most of them smell that way.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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