Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Do you think glass coffins will ever be a thing?
π︎ 38
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︎ Mar 28 2021
What do you call it when Barry Allen thinks about his past
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︎ Apr 18 2021
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
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︎ Mar 23 2021
"Son, do you think we should find an expert to guide us in our trek up Mt. Everest?"
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︎ Apr 02 2021
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Daughter, showing me a drawing: What do you think I should call my dolphin?
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︎ Mar 14 2021
My friend said, βMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?β
Me: Cats. Cats love fish.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Do you ever wonder if a cow thinks her calf who won't nurse.....
Is an utter disappointment?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
[OC (I think)] What do you call the child of a civil engineer?
π︎ 12
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︎ Feb 05 2021
Do you think lizard people...
are on Santa's Illuminati list?
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︎ Feb 27 2021
What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 14 2021
How do you think Moses makes his tea?
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︎ Feb 03 2021
do you think the builders used a pic for reference?
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︎ Dec 10 2020
My wife asked me, βDo you think our kids are spoiled?β
I said, βNo, most of them smell that way.β
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︎ Nov 02 2020
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, βSo what do you think of The View?β
I said, βWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I donβt like the other women on the show.β
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︎ Dec 19 2020
My wife said, βI think I lost my datebook. Do you know where it is?β
I said, βI think..you may have a hidden agenda.β
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︎ Dec 13 2020
What do you guys think of german sausages?
I think they are the wurst
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Do you think space aeroplanes will ever be a thing?
Because personally I canβt see them ever taking off.
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︎ Nov 30 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg! :)
(Sorry if this isn't as funny as the other jokes here! I just can't help but crack a smile when I hear this one. It's so cheesey and adorable to me! So I figured I'd try and share it with you all! Have a nice day!)
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︎ Jun 24 2020
My wife has just gave birth at the hospital. I pulled the doctor away for a minute and asked "how soon do you think we will be able to have sex?"
He thought about it for a bit and said "I am off-duty in 10mins, meet me in the car park"
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Do you think birds ever plan out their day?
π︎ 15
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Do you think rowers have a favorite side to row on?
Or is it an either oar situation?
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π
︎ Aug 22 2020
How do you think they measure the weight of bones?
They probably Skel-a-Ton at a time!
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Driving behind a hearse, my wife asked βHow fast do you think a hearse can go?β
Me: I donβt think very fast at all
Wife: Why not?!
Me: Well I mean they have all that dead weight in the back...
Literally a conversation we had last night. She actually laughed out loud!
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︎ Jun 22 2019
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
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︎ Sep 19 2020
What kind of house do you think you can pick up!?
Iβm not very bright but Iβm pretty sure I can pick up a Light House!
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︎ Sep 25 2020
When do you think humanity peaked?
Well, after we invented the wheel, it was all downhill from there.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Do you think Shakira calls her body guards her shakiraty guards?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 24 2020
What do you do when you think your gun is broken
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︎ Aug 21 2020
Son/Daughter: Hey I got a haircut! What do you think?
Dad: Looks like you got them all cut.
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︎ May 22 2020
I was on a family vacation in Japan when I slept in one day. My dad flung open my door and told me to wake up. I said, βDad, what do you think this is?...
...the Land of the Rising Son?β
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︎ Jul 20 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
How do you think the unthinkable
π︎ 34
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︎ Nov 16 2020
My friend said, βMy kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?β
βA catβ I said. βCats love fish.
π︎ 64
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Do you think glass coffins will become popular?
π︎ 46
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︎ Oct 31 2020
My wife asked me, βDo you think our kids are spoiled?β
I said, βNo. I think most of them smell that way.β
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︎ Aug 13 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 16 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 10 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
How do you think the unthinkable?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
My wife asked me, βDo you think our kids are spoiled?β
I said, βNo. Most of them smell that way.β
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︎ May 05 2020
My wife: Honey, do you think our kids are spoiled?
Me: No, I think most of them smell that way.
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 03 2019
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