Original von Sachsens Innenminister Roland WΓΆller. Ganz frech von Stephan Anpalagan geklaut: https://twitter.com/stephanpalagan/status/1325777831176114176
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
List of composers that ruined classical music
I hate and despise all of these individuals. They have subjected us to the worst cultural degeneracy. They are:
Petrus Abaelardus (1079 - 1142) Hildegard von Bingen (1098 - 1179) PΓ©rotin Magister (c. 1155 - c. 1250) LΓ©onin Magister (fl. c. 1150 - 1201?) Philippe Le Chancelier (c. 1165 - 1236) Walter von Der Vogelweide (c. 1170 - c. 1230) Alfonso X "El Sabio" (1221 - 1284) Philippe de Vitry (1291 - 1361) Pierre Des Molins (fl. c. 1375) Ghirardello da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Lorenzo da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Jacopo da Bologna (fl. c. 1375) Guillaume de Machaut (c. 1300 - 1377) Francesco Landini (1325 - 1397) Pycard (fl. c. 1390) Franchois Lebertoul (fl. c. 1400) Johannes Ciconia (c. 1335 - 1411) Early Renaissance - 15th Century
Leonel Power (? - 1445) Walter Frye (fl. c. 1450) John Dunstable (c. 1380 - 1453) Guillaume Dufay (1400 - 1474) Johannes Brassart (c. 1405 - c. 1450) John Browne (? - 1498) Johannes Ockeghem (1420 - 1497) Antoine Busnoys (1430 - 1492) Richard Hygons (c. 1435 - c. 1509) Josquin Des PrΓ©z (1440 - 1521) Alexander Agricola (c. 1446 - 1506) Edmund Turges (c. 1450 - ?) Walter Lambe (c. 1450 - after 1499) Robert Wylkynson (c. 1450 - 1515 or later) Heinrich Isaac (c. 1450 - 1517) Jacob Obrecht (1457 or 1458 - 1505) Jean Mouton (1459 - 1522) Gijon (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Francisco de la Torre (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Juan de Triana (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Antoine Brumel (c. 1460 - c. 1515) Pierre de la Rue (1460 - 1518) Robert Fayrfax (1464 - 1521) Richard Davy (c. 1465 - c. 1507) William Cornysh (c. 1465 - 1523) Juan Del Encina (1468 - 1529) High Renaissance - 16th Century
Francisco de Penalosa (1470 - 1528) Luis de Narvaez (fl. c. 1540) Giovanni Battista Conforti (fl. c. 1550) Jean l'Heritier (1480 - 1552) Gasparo Alberti (c. 1480 - c. 1560) Robert Carver (1484 - 1568) Nicholas Ludford (1485 - 1557) Clement Janequin (1485 - 1558) Ludwig Senfl (c. 1486 - c. 1543) Costanzo Festa (c. 1490 - 1545) John Taverner (c. 1490 - 1545) Nicolas Gombert (c. 1490 - c. 1556) Adrian Willaert (c. 1490 - 1562) Francesco da Milano (1497 - 1543) Heliodoro de Paiva (c. 1500 - 1552) Philippe Verdelot (c. 1500 - before 1552) ChristΓ³bal de Morales (c. 1500 - 1553) Marco da l'Aquila (fl. c. 1505 - 1555) Jacques Arcadelt (1505 - 1568) Christopher Tye (c. 1505 - 1572) Thomas Tallis (c. 1505 - 1585) BΓ‘lint Bakfark (1507 - 1576) Johannes Lupi (1510 - 1539) Jacobus Clemens Non Papa (c. 1510 or 1515 - c. 1555 or 1556) Guillaume Morlaye (
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
Pilot on me!!
It's been a while since I've posted on here, and that's because no one ever replies to them. Well anyways These are the characters from the My Little Pony Attack on Titan crossover fanfiction Iβm writing and who I would like to voice them. Now keep in mind this is not the official voice cast, just my dream cast. Thereβs a huge possibility that the animated series I want to make on this most likely will not happen, but I can always dream right.
- Nicole Voce as Twilight Sparkle
- Robert McCollum as Reiner Braun/Armored Titan
- Michelle Creber as Apple Bloom/Angel Titan
- David Matranga as Bertholdt Hoover/Colossal Titan
- Meghan Stefek as Fluttershy/Colossal Titan
- Nina Rose as Pinkie Pie
- DisneyFanatic2364 as Applejack
- Britteny Ackerman as Rainbow Dash
- Vanessa Marie as Spike
- InweTellemnar as Rarity
- Claire Corlett as Sweetie Belle/Warhammer Titan
- Madaline Peters as Scootaloo
- Sunni Westbrook as Cozy Glow/Jaw Titan
- Nicole Oliver as Princess Celestia
- Rina-Chan as Princess Luna
- Britt McKillip as Princess Cadance
- Andrew Frances as Shinning Armor
- LalaLexxi as Flurry Heart
- William Patterson as Discord
- Peter New as Big Macintosh
- AgentOfFluffy as Granny Smith
- Chantal Stand as Diamond Tiara
- Shannon Chan-Kent as Silver Spoon
- Kelly Sherdin as Starlight Glimmer
- Apphia Yu as Trixie Lulamoon
- Ian Halin as Sunburst
- Lee Tockar as Snips
- Richard Ian Cox as Snails
- Doc Harris as Grogar
- Mark Achseon as Tirek
- Truesailorcomment as Queen Chrysalis
- Alvin Sanders as King Sombra
- Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Johnathan Ross/Lynch King
- PJ Heyword as Cozy Glow's Uncle
- Alexis Silvera as Cozy Glow's Aunt
- Liev Schreiber as The Storm King
- Kestin Howard as Cozy Glow's Cousin
- Gabriel C Brown as Bray
- Devon Dalton as Ocellus
- Gavin Langelo as Gallus
- Lauren Jackson as Silverstream
- Danny Pudi as Sandbar
- Katrina Salisbury as Yona
- Matt Cowlrick as Rockhoof
- Murry Peeters as Somnambula
- Mariee Devereux as Mage Meadowbrook
- Chris Britton as Starswirl the Bearded
- Ellen-Ray Hennessy as Mistmane
- Giles Panton as Flash Magnus
- Bill Newton as Stygian/Pony of Shadows
- Katelyn Barr as Muffins
- Stephanie Sheh as Dinky Doo
- Claire Crosby as Emma Swirl
- Cayla Martin as Sugar Belle
- Martha Harms as Samatha Cheerlie
- Harmony Oak as Ellie Redhart
- Kimberley Anne Campbell as Twinkleshine
- Rebecca Husian as Minnuette
- Cait Myers as Lemon Hearts
- Terri Doty as Moondancer
- Chelsea Druce as Lyra Heartstrings
- Natalie Rial as Sweet
Christopher Walken
Tagestipps
| Sendung | Titel |
|---|---|
| BR Kalenderblatt | 05.11.1980 PandabΓ€ren Bao Bao und Tjen Tjen ziehen in den Berliner Zoo (1) |
| BR Feuilleton | Da Sepp hoast jetz TschusΓ€ppe (2) |
| BR Zuendfunk | Wer sich den Platz in der Poplandschaft immer noch erkΓ€mpfen muss (3) |
| HR2 Hoerspiel | Der Idiot 1 nach Fjodor Dostojewski (4) |
| HR2 Hoerspiel | Der Idiot 2 nach Fjodor Dostojewski (5) |
| NDR HSP Box | ARD Radio Tatort: Nur Du (6) |
| SWR Zeitwort | 5.11.1971: Die SchankgefΓ€Γverordnung wird erlassen (7) |
| WDR Zeitzeichen | Mathilde II., Γbtissin von Essen (Todestag, 05.11.1011) (8) |
News
| Zeit | Titel | wo | min | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 05:07 | Glasgow: Fridays for Future demonstriert fΓΌr mehr Klimaschutz (KΓΆhler, Imke) | DLF | 3:19 | ? |
| 05:16 | Nach 40 Jahren: Neues ABBA-Album ist da (Schmiester, Carsten) | DRK | 3:33 | ? |
| 06:40 | Nach 40 Jahren: Neues Album von ABBA (Zylka, Jenni) | DRK | 5:40 | [?](https://www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/studio-9.2164.de. |
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
