Dc 2 Puns

AC/DC

There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.

Because there's an AC in DC.

(Someone improve this joke.)

I have been Washington's of DCs.

Under DC.

The DC Comics

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500

AC/DC

https://imgur.com/DcTk0Z0

Tesla/Edison is that a band? -Yeah AC/DC

It was called AC/DC.

This one is written in Washington, DC.

First day of summer vacation, pack up the family and bring them to Canobie Lake Park, a local amusement park.

We all get on the Ferris Wheel and the listen to the instructions:

Operator: "Please keep you arms and legs in the cart at all times, remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop and please NO ROCKING!"

Me: "Awwww man, I was just abut to crank some AC/DC"

My family and the family in line behind us: ::audible groans::

In DC-ent exposure!

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

• Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
• It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
• What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
• Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
• Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
• Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
• If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
• Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
• Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
• American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
• The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
• Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
• Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
• Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
• Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
• Rittal me this, Batman!
• Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
• Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
• If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
• When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
• You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
• Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
• Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
• Don't think Seton is

We were watching hockey over the weekend when my little brother noticed that one of the guys on the Caps (we're from the DC area) was using the same model stick that he had just gotten for his birthday.

"Hey that's my stick!" said Lil Bro excitedly.

And then my dad jumped in: "Well we better go get it back. That thing was expensive!"

Inspired by this post

I ordered 100 of these and keep one in my pocket at all times now: http://i.imgur.com/fDFtpL5.jpg

Also, if you're in the Washington DC area, I'd be happy to spread the love. Happy dadjoking!

I work as a bartender at a classy cheese and wine bar in the DC area. Last night after some harmless flirting with some middle aged ladies, one exclaimed, "Sauvignon Blanc! That's my white jam!"

I replied, "Ma'am that's actually a wine, not a jam."

Made a trip to DC by myself and went to Ford's Theatre as part of the trip. I uploaded a couple picture's I took into an album and made a brief description of each, because I knew my family would be interested in looking. Then my father, who is normally a very silent man who rarely ever smiles (let alone cracks a joke), commented this.

Simple, yet effective.

I started to read an article tonight titled "When did the last dodo go extinct?" but decided there is no reason to read it since I know there are over 500 of them still alive in Washington, DC.

Me:How was your fall? Him: I never fell. Why are you asking? Me:Oh it's just that I heard that you tripped all the way down to DC

I texted my dad to let him know I landed, My flight was scheduled to take an hour and a half, but it only took an hour. I was flying from Hartford CT into DC.

Me: I landed.

Dad: That was quick!

Me: Yeah, only took an hour!

Dad: Well yeah, you were flying down hill

Me: -__-

http://imgur.com/WqCVxDc

I think I earned a promotion after the groans I got after saying this.

My friends family was driving through DC the other day and they were looking for a certain Macomb street.

Mom: Come on where's this street? Where's Macomb?

Dad: Right next to Mabrush street.

I just got the dcs UH-1H and was talking about it with my dad.

"This simulator is intense. It's harder to fly than I thought."

"Yea I hear helicopters are hard to fly. It must be challenging if you have to stay in tents."

AC/DC!

AC/DC

AC/DC

AC/DC