David Marquardt Puns

Entries in this series (this link does not work properly in old Reddit or 3rd-party apps): https://www.reddit.com/r/lds/collection/11be9581-6e2e-4837-9ed4-30f5e37782b2

Today and next week, we’ll be talking about the Three Witnesses to the Book of Mormon. Martin Harris bears the brunt of it, which will likely take this entire post, with less about David Whitmer and hardly anything about Oliver Cowdery. Apparently, Jeremy couldn’t find much else to attack Oliver for, beyond the divining rod we discussed last week. He goes on at length about Martin Harris, though, so I’m just going to jump right in without a longer introduction.

> We are told that the witnesses never disavowed their testimonies, but we have not come to know these men or investigated what else they said about their experiences.

For once, he’s partially right. They never disavowed their testimonies. As a history geek, though, I have to disagree with the second statement. Jeremy may not know much about these men or investigated what else they said, but some of us certainly have. We have a wealth of information about them at our fingertips.

Among other resources, the Interpreter Foundation recently made a movie, Witnesses, that covers some of their experiences taken from their own words. They also created an entire website just about them. FAIR has a large section of their website devoted to them. So does Book of Mormon Central. Historian Richard L. Anderson wrote what is easily the best book about them. They’re discussed in the Church History Topics portion of the Church’s website. There’s a lesson solely about them in the Book of Mormon Teacher’s Manual. And Michael Ash wrote a 4-part brochure on them, which you can read here: Part 1 | Part 2 | [

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3461. Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine (Vol.1 & Vol.2), 20th Edition: Dennis L. Kasper & Anthony S. Fauci & Stephen L. Hauser & Dan L. Longo

3462. An Introduction to Language, 11th Edition: Victoria Fromkin & Robert Rodman & Nina Hyams

3463. Milady Standard Esthetics: Fundamentals, 11th Edition: Milady

3464. Public Administration: Partnerships in Public Service, 5th Edition: William C. Johnson

3465. McCarthy's Introduction to Health Care Delivery: A Primer for Pharmacists, 6th Edition: Kimberly S. Plake & Kenneth W. Schafermeyer & Robert L. McCarthy

3466. Torres' Patient Care in Imaging Technology, 9th Edition: Andrea Dutton & TerriAnn Ryan

3467. The Human Past: World History & the Development of Human Societies, 4th Edition: Chris Scarre

3468. Introduction to Polymers, 3rd Edition: Robert J. Young & Peter A. Lovell

3469. Crowley's An Introduction to Human Disease: Pathology and Pathophysiology Correlations, 10th Edition: Emily Reisner & Howard Reisner

3470. ManageFirst: Hospitality and Restaurant Management, 2nd Edition: National Restaurant Association

3471. Leadership in Nursing Practice: Changing the Landscape of Health Care, 3rd Edition: Daniel Weberg & Kara Mangold & Tim Porter-O'Grady & Kathy Malloch

3472. Automotive Engineering Fundamentals, 0th Edition: Richard Stone & Jeffrey K. Ball

3473. Business Statistics, 3rd Edition: Norean D. Sharpe & Richard D. De Veaux & Paul F. Velleman

3474. Essentials of Systems Analysis and Design, Global 6th Edition: Joseph S. Valacich & Joey F. George & Jeff Hoffer

3475. The Ventilator Book, 2nd Edition: William Owens MD

3476. Introduction to Security, 9th Edition: Robert Fischer Ph.D. & Edward Halibozek & David Walters

3477. Art of Mesopotamia, 1st Edition: Zainab Bahrani

3478. Analysis for Financial Management, 12th Edition: Robert C. Higgins

3479. Heat and Mass Transfer: Fundamentals and Applic

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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26429. (eBook PDF)QUALITATIVE RESEARCH in the Health Professions by William Pitney EdD ATC FNATA , Jenny Parker EdD , Stephanie Mazerolle PhD ATC LAT , Kelly Potteiger PhD ATC

26430. (eBook PDF)Introduction to Instructed Second Language Acquisition by Shawn Loewen

26431. (eBook PDF)Trademark and Unfair Competition Law Cases and Materials, Sixth Edition 6th Edition PDF+AZW3 by Jane C. Ginsburg , Jessica Litman , Mary Kevlin

26432. (eBook PDF)Transactional Intellectual Property From Startups to Public Companies 4e PDF+AZW3 by Richard S. Gruner , Shubha Ghosh , Jay P. Kesan

26433. (eBook PDF)Interpersonal Communication 3rd Edition by Kory Floyd

26434. (eBook PDF)Adult Development and Aging Biopsychosocial Perspectives, Canadian Edition by Susan Krauss Whitbourne

26435. (eBook PDF)Practical Strategies for Technical Communication A Brief Guide 3rd Edition by Mike Markel , Stuart a Selber

26436. (eBook PDF)Management and the Health Information Professional

26437. (eBook PDF)Essentials of Biological Anthropology 4th Edition by Clark Spencer Larsen

26438. (eBook PDF)SOCIAL WELFARE in Canadian Society 5th Edition by Rosalie Chappell

26439. (eBook PDF)Physicians' Cancer Chemotherapy Drug Manual 2020 by Edward Chu , Vincent T. DeVita Jr.

26440. (eBook PDF)Memmler's Structure and Function of the Human Body 12th Edition PDF+EPUB by Barbara Janson Cohen , Kerry L. Hull

26441. (eBook PDF)Radiologic Physics Taught Through Cases by Jonathon A. Nye

26442. (eBook PDF)Diagnostic Imaging of Congenital Heart Defects by Matthias Gutberlet

26443. (eBook PDF)Guidelines for Nurse Practitioners in Ambulatory Obstetric Settings 2nd Edition by Nancy J. Cibulka

26444. (eBook PDF)Evidence-Based Treatment Approaches for Suicidal Adolescents by Michele , Ph.D. Berk

26445. (eBook PDF)Office-Based Buprenorphine Treatment of Opioid Use Disorder by John A. Renner Jr. , Petros Levounis , Anna T. LaRose

26446. (eBook PDF)Principles and Practice of Electroconvulsive Therap

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

I won't be doing that today!

rasmus.andresen@europarl.europa.eu,

christine.anderson@europarl.europa.eu,

katarina.barley@europarl.europa.eu,

gunnar.beck@europarl.europa.eu,

nicola.beer@europarl.europa.eu,

hildegard.bentele@europarl.europa.eu,

larspatrick.berg@europarl.europa.eu,

stefan.berger@europarl.europa.eu,

gabriele.bischoff@europarl.europa.eu,

michael.bloss@europarl.europa.eu,

damian.boeselager@europarl.europa.eu,

patrick.breyer@europarl.europa.eu,

markus.buchheit@europarl.europa.eu,

udo.bullmann@europarl.europa.eu,

delara.burkhardt@europarl.europa.eu,

martin.buschmann@europarl.europa.eu,

reinhard.buetikofer@europarl.europa.eu,

daniel.caspary@europarl.europa.eu,

anna.cavazzini@europarl.europa.eu,

oezlem.demirel@europarl.europa.eu,

anna.deparnay-grunenberg@europarl.europa.eu,

christian.doleschal@europarl.europa.eu,

lena.duepont@europarl.europa.eu,

christian.ehler@europarl.europa.eu,

cornelia.ernst@europarl.europa.eu,

engin.eroglu@freiewaehler-hessen.de,

ismail.ertug@europarl.europa.eu,

markus.ferber@europarl.europa.eu,

nicolaus.fest@europarl.europa.eu,

romeo.franz@europarl.europa.eu,

[daniel.freund@eur

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

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5936. Fundamentals of Corporate Finance, 2nd Canadian Edition : Jonathan Berk & Peter DeMarzo & Jarrad Harford & David A. Stangeland

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5938. Group Exercises for Addiction Counseling, 1st Edition: Geri Miller

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5941. HTTP: The Definitive Guide: The Definitive Guide (Definitive Guides), 1st Edition: David Gourley & Brian Totty & Marjorie Sayer & Anshu Aggarwal

5942. AEMT: Advanced Emergency Care and Transportation of the Sick and Injured, 3rd Edition: American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS)

5943. Starting Out with C++: From Control Structures through Objects, Brief Version, 8th Edition: Tony Gaddis

5944. Horngren's Cost Accounting: A Managerial Emphasis, 16th Global Edition: Datar, Srikant M. & Rajan, Madhav V.

5945. Basic Econometrics, 5th Edition : Damodar Gujarati & Dawn Porter

5946. Investment Valuation: Tools and Techniques for Determining the Value of any Asset, University 3rd Edition: Aswath Damodaran

5947. Financial Accounting, 7th Edition: Robert Libby & Patricia Libby & Daniel Short

5948. Game Theory for Applied Economists: Robert Gibbons

5949. E-Commerce 2017: Business, Technology, and Society, 13th Edition: Kenneth C. Laudon & Carol Guercio Traver

5950. Communication Between Cultures, 7th Edition: Larry A. Samovar

5951. Campbell Essential Biology with Physiology, 4th Edition: Eric J. Simon & Jean L. Dickey & Jane B. Reece

5952. The Art of Problem Solving, Vol. 1: The Basics, 7th Edition: Sandor Lehoczky & Richard Rusczyk

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5954. Communication Between Cultures, 8th Edition: Samovar,

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26693. (eBook PDF)USMLE Step 2 CK Lecture Notes 2020: 5-book set

26694. (eBook PDF)Clinical Procedures in Primary Eye Care 5th by David B. Elliott

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26696. (eBook PDF)Netter's Essential Histology E-Book: With Correlated Histopathology (Netter Basic Science) 3rd Edition by William K. Ovalle , Patrick C. Nahirney

26697. (eBook PDF)Nolte’s The Human Brain E-Book: An Introduction to its Functional Anatomy 8th Edition by Todd Vanderah , Douglas J Gould

26698. (eBook PDF)Pediatric Transplant and Oncology Infectious Diseases by William J. Steinbach

26699. (eBook PDF)Surgery Of Thyroid & Parathyroid Glands 3rd Edition by Gregory W Randolph

26700. (eBook PDF)Textbook of Physical Diagnosis E-Book: History and Examination 8th Edition by Mark H. Swartz

26701. (eBook PDF)American Politics Today Essentials 6th Edition by William T. Bianco, David T. Canon

26702. (eBook PDF)Automotive Electricity and Electronics 5th Edition by James D. Halderman

26703. (eBook PDF)Becoming a Teacher 10th Edition by Forrest W. Parkay

26704. (eBook PDF)Better Business 5th Edition by Michael R. Solomon , Mary Anne Poatsy, Kendall Martin

26705. (eBook PDF)Biology 12th Edition by Peter Raven

26706. (eBook PDF)College Accounting A Contemporary Approach 4th Edition by M. David Haddock

26707. (eBook PDF)Communicating at Work 12th Edition by Ronald Adler , Jeanne Marquardt Elmhorst

26708. (eBook PDF)Culture and Values A Survey of the Humanities, Volume I 9th Ediiton by Lawrence S. Cunningham , John J. Reich , Lois Fichner-Rathus

26709. (eBook PDF)Data Mining and Machine Lear

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7690. Molecular Biology, 3rd Edition: David P. Clark & Nanette J. Pazdernik & Michelle R. McGehee

7691. Motivational Interviewing, 3rd Edition: William R. Miller & Stephen Rollnick

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7693. Microsoft Excel 2019 Data Analysis and Business Modeling, 6th Edition: Wayne Winston

7694. The Power of Framing: Creating the Language of Leadership, 2nd Edition: Gail T. Fairhurst

7695. Doing Right: A Practical Guide to Ethics for Medical Trainees and Physicians, 3rd Edition: Philip C. Hebert

7696. Experimental Design: Procedures for the Behavioral Sciences, 4th Edition: Roger E. Kirk

7697. Principles of Corporate Finance, 11th Edition: Richard Brealey

7698. The PMP Exam: How to Pass on Your First Try, 6th Edition: Andy Crowe

7699. Workbook for Diagnostic Medical Sonography: The Vascular System (Diagnostic Medical Sonography Series), 2nd Edition: Ann Marie Kupinski

7700. Financial Markets and Institutions, 6th Edition: Anthony Saunders

7701. Windows Server 2016 Unleashed, 1st Edition: Rand Morimoto & Jeffrey Shapiro & Guy Yardeni

7702. NoSQL for Mere Mortals, 1st Edition: Dan Sullivan

7703. Children's Thinking: Cognitive Development and Individual Differences, 6th Edition: David F. Bjorklund & Kayla B. Causey

7704. Mathematical Statistics with Applications, 7th Edition: Dennis Wackerly & William Mendenhall & Richard L. Scheaffer

7705. Speak Up! An Illustrated Guide to Public Speaking, 4th Edition: Douglas M. Fraleigh & Joseph S. Tuman & Peter Arkle

7706. An Introduction to Intercultural Communication: Identities in a Global Community, 9th Edition: Fred E. Jandt

7707. Data Mining for Business Analytics: Concepts, Techniques and Applications in Python, 1st Edition: Galit Shmueli & Peter C. Bruce & Peter Gedeck & Nitin R. Patel

7708. Chemical Fate and Tr

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9453. Run, Don't Walk: The Curious and Chaotic Life of a Physical Therapist Inside Walter Reed Army Med ical Center, 1st Edition: Adele Levine

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9455. Managerial Accounting: Tools for Business Decision Making, 8th Edition: Jerry J. Weygandt & Paul D. Kimmel & Donald E. Kieso

9456. Assembly Language for x86 Processors, 7th Edition: Kip R. Irvine

9457. Exploring Research, 9th Edition, Global Edition: Neil J. Salkind

9458. Occupational Therapy Essentials for Clinical Competence, 2nd Edition: Karen Jacobs & Nancy MacRae & Karen Sladyk & Karen Jacobs & Nancy MacRae

9459. Financial Microeconometrics: A Research Methodology in Corporate Finance and Accounting, 1st Edition: Marek Gruszczyński

9460. Imagining Indianness: Cultural Identity and Literature, 1st Edition: Diana Dimitrova & Thomas de Bruijn

9461. Lehne's Pharmacology for Nursing Care, 10th Edition: Jacqueline Burchum & Laura Rosenthal

9462. Using SPSS for Windows and Macintosh, 7th Edition: Samuel B. Green & Neil J. Salkind

9463. Clinical Assessment and Diagnosis in Social Work Practice, 3rd Edition: Jacqueline Corcoran & Joseph Walsh

9464. Landscapes and Landforms of Eastern Canada, 1st Edition: Olav Slaymaker & Norm Catto

9465. Life Cycle Nutrition: An Evidence-Based Approach, 2nd Edition: Sari Edelstein

9466. Electronic Circuits with MATLAB, PSpice, and Smith Chart, 1st Edition: Won Y. Yang & Jaekwon Kim & Kyung W. Park & Donghyun Baek

9467. Tests & Measurement for People Who (Think They) Hate Tests & Measurement, 3rd Edition: Neil J. Salkind

9468. The Soils of the USA, 1st Edition: L.T. West

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4879. Programming Massively Parallel Processors: A Hands-on Approach, 2nd Edition: David B. Kirk & Wen-mei W. Hwu

4880. The Environmental Case Translating Values Into Policy, 4th Edition: Judith A. Layzer

4881. Organic Chemistry: Principles and Mechanisms, 2nd Edition: Joel Karty

4882. Excursions in World Music, 7th Edition: Bruno Nettl & Timothy Rommen

4883. Data Modeling and Database Design, 2nd Edition: Narayan S. Umanath & Richard W. Scamell

4884. Ethics and Professional Responsibility for Paralegals, 8th Edition: Therese A. Cannon

4885. Conducting Research in Psychology Measuring the Weight of Smoke, 5th Edition: Brett W. Pelham &, Hart C. Blanton

4886. Understanding and Managing Diversity: Readings, Cases, and Exercises, 6th Edition: Carol Harvey & M. June Allard

4887. Discrete and Combinatorial Mathematics: An Applied Introduction, 5th Edition: Ralph P. Grimaldi

4888. Writing about Writing, 3rd Edition : Elizabeth Wardle & Douglas Downs

4889. Services Marketing:People, Technology, Strategy, 8th Edition: Jochen Wirtz & Christopher Lovelock

4890. The Doctor of Nursing Practice Essentials, 3rd Edition: Mary Zaccagnini & Kathryn White

4891. Essentials of Contemporary Management, 8th Edition: Gareth Jones

4892. Fundamentals of Investments Valuation and Management, 8th Edition: Bradford Jordan &, Thomas Miller & Steve Dolvin

4893. Schaechter's Mechanisms of Microbial Disease, 5th North American Edition: N. Cary Engleberg & Terence Dermody & Victor DiRita

4894. Social Psychology, 9th Edition: Saul Kassin & Steven Fein & Hazel Rose Markus

4895. Intelligence: From Secrets to Policy, 7th Edition: Mark M. Lowenthal

4896. Fitness and Health, 7th Edition: Brian J. Sharkey & Steven Gaskill

4897. How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays, 1st Edition: Alexander Chee

4898. The Politics of Injustice: Crime and Punishment in America, 2nd Edition: Katherine Beckett & Theodore

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "