A man went to the hospital with eight plastic horses in his stomach
His condition is stable now
A man was admitted to hospital after swallowing 6 plastic horses.
His condition has been described as stable.
If you’re hiding in a hospital, what’s the worst place to hide?
A man was admitted at the hospital with 25 plastic toy horses in his rectum.
Doctors report his condition as stable.
I said "Something is wrong with these kids, we've got to get them to the hospital..."
"What is it?" said my wife.
"Well, it's a big building with a bunch of patients. But that's not important right now."
In an unexpected turn of events my apathetic Muslim friend just opened an eye hospital
He calls it "Asif Eye Care".
Poor guy just left the hospital after having half his body amputated
It cost him an arm and a leg
A man walks into a hospital ward and starts inspecting the bed charts.
A doctor notices this and says, "Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
The man ignores the doctor and continues, now taking everyone's blood pressure.
"Sir, I'll ask you again", says the doctor, "why are you here and what are you doing?"
Ignoring the doctor again, the man then begins to take everyone's blood and starts processing it through the hospital's examination equipment.
"Right!" Shouts the doctor. "Now you're testing my patients!"
Visiting a friend at the hospital & noticed that all the nurses had red crayons
Found out they need them to draw blood
who is the coolest guy in the hospital?
How does a pig get to the hospital?
What hospital extension do you call for women going into labor?
A pregnant lady comes into the hospital screaming "CANNOT!! WILL NOT!!"
The doctor takes one look at her and says "She is going into false labor."
The nurse asks "How can you tell??"
"No contractions."
A man goes to the hospital where his dad is hospitalized.
The nurse says, "I am sorry sir your Dad is pronounced dead.
The man says, " I can't believe I have been pronouncing it wrong the whole time.
Why was the painter rushed to the hospital?
He had a stroke of genius
What's the roundabout outside of a psychiatric hospital called?
Did youhear about the dog that sat outside a hospital for an entire day
What would you call a hospital for horses?
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
What type of doctor is always ready to go to the hospital?
A woman is sick in the hospital. Doctors tell her she only has days to live. She summons for her husband because she has something important to tell him. He rushes to the hospital.
When he arrives she says “I’ve decided what I want for dinner.”
Here is present the vampire state building.
My friend Poi just told me that when the hospital was filling out her daughter’s birth certificate, they accidentally listed her as a boy.
I guess you could say that girl is Poi’s Son.
We threw a house party that ended badly last night, my wife put her best friend in hospital with a single punch.
The worst fruit allergy I've ever seen.
I went in to hospital for a routine operation and was furious when I woke up to find the surgeon had given me a lobotomy
I can tell you, he sure got a piece of my mind.
Why did the birdie go to the hospital?
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
What's the biggest difference between male patients in a mental hospital and their female nurses?
Dad: What state is famous for its potatoes?
Mom: Idaho?
Dad: Yes, you are.
I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
I've just lost my job at the hospital, shaving patients in preparation for spinal surgery...
Because of all the cut backs.
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
When registering for college classes, pick ones taught by heterosexual Canadians whenever possible.
They always give straight "eh"s.
Who is the coolest person at the hospital
A toothless old lady in hospital always gave away the peanuts she was given by her visitors to the nurses to eat.
One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!
Which part of a hospital is the best place to play hide and seek?
What part of the hospital has the least privacy?
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
My son asked me why I bought a saddle for my father who’s in the hospital
I said, “Because he’s bedridden”
Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.
Doctors say he is in stable condition.
My son was just born and another dad at the hospital congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday.
He said, "Maybe they'll marry each other?"
"Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age."
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
What did the hospital say to the man with 100% of his left side missing?
The doctor says “He’s alright”
The nurse follows “There’s nothing left!
Why was Picasso rushed to the hospital?
He had a stroke of genius.
A man was admitted to hospital today with 10 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
