Cynthia Connolly Puns

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26446. (eBook PDF)Principles and Practice of Electroconvulsive Therap

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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7690. Molecular Biology, 3rd Edition: David P. Clark & Nanette J. Pazdernik & Michelle R. McGehee

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7706. An Introduction to Intercultural Communication: Identities in a Global Community, 9th Edition: Fred E. Jandt

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7708. Chemical Fate and Tr

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26162. (eBook PDF)Miller's Anesthesia, 2-Volume Set 9th Edition by Gropper MD PhD, Michael A. , Eriksson MD PhD FRCA, Lars I. , Fleisher MD FACC, Lee A , Wiener-Kronish MD, Jeanine P.

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26170. (eBook PDF)Auditing and Assurance Services in Australia 7th Australian Edition by Gay Associate Professor, Grant , Simnett Professor, Roger

26171. (eBook PDF)Australian Taxation Law Cases 2019

26172. (eBook PDF)Teaching English Grammar A Handbook for Australian Teachers by Rod Campbell , Graham Ryles

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26175. (eBook PDF)The Future of Australian Legal Education

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26177. (eBook PDF)Business and Corporate Law Guidebook

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26180. (eBook PDF)Introduction to the Human Body, 11th Australia and New Zealand Edition by Tortora

26181. (eBook PDF)Business Data Communications and Networking 13th Australia a

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

In Konets, Red talks to Cooper about helping Liz. He brings a list of criminals who would move in to take advantage of Townsend's death.

>RED: But unfortunately, Townsend's death is about to trigger a firestorm of criminal activity. In the absence of a clear successor, everyone will be vying for control of his empire.
>
>COOPER: I assume you're here to give me a case, that the next name on the Blacklist will be in service to helping you take advantage of the situation.
>
>RED: I do have a bunch of likely contenders for the throne, and, yes, I am giving you them so that someone can take advantage of this situation. But not me.
>
>COOPER: How magnanimous.

Next Red basically tells Cooper he is dying and that he would continue to help Liz when he is dead.

>RED: I've heard that one's true colors emerge at the end. I'd love to think that magnanimity is one of mine.
>
>COOPER: The end? I knew you were sick, but exactly how bad is it?
>
>RED: Harold, over the years, you've served as a wise counselor to Elizabeth. I'd like to know that in my absence that would continue.
>
>COOPER: Raymond. How sick are you?
>
>RED: Do I have your word?
>
>COOPER: Of course. I'll always do everything I can for Elizabeth.
>
>RED: Thank you. You're a good friend.

Note what is absent:

Cooper telling Red that Liz is being hunted by the DOJ with a scub notice on her. That the task force will basically be dissolved once Liz is dead, and that Red would be "cut lose".

This rather vital piece of information is absent. Red does not specifically says Liz would take over, so this is vague enough to mean anything, simply that Cooper would continue to give Liz advice.

But when Liz meets with Cooper, having declined Red's offer, this is what Cooper says to her:

>COOPER: Have you spoken to Reddington? I knew he was sick, but I had no idea it was this severe.
>
>LIZ: He asked me to take over for him.
>
>COOPER: I'm not surprised.
>
>LIZ: I said no. I'm... I'm leaving. We're gonna get away. I wanted to tell you in person and thank you for everything that you've done.
>
>COOPER: So your mind's made up? About taking over for Reddington?
>
>LIZ: Well, is there a decision to make?

This makes sense. Is consistent with what Cooper had known and discussed with both Red and Liz

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

But let me give it a shot.

And now I’m cannelloni

He’s the new temp.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

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1021. Ecology, 4th Edition: Bowman, Hacker & Cain

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1024. Computer Systems: A Programmer's Perspective (3rd Edition): Randal E. Bryant & David R. O'Hallaron

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2753. Public Policymaking, 8th Edition: James E. Anderson

2754. Psychology: The Briefer Course: William James

2755. Professional Nursing: Concepts & Challenges, 8th Edition: Beth Black

2756. Prioritization, Delegation, and Assignment, 4th Edition: Linda A. LaCharity & Candice K. Kumagai

2757. Persuasion : Social Influence And Compliance Gaining, 5Th Edition: Robert H. Gass & John S. Seiter

2758. Our Origins: Discovering Physical Anthropology, 4th Edition: Clark Spencer Larsen

2759. Once Upon a Time: A Short History of Fairy Tale, 1st Eition: Marina Warner

2760. NYSTCE EAS Educating All Students Test (201) Secrets Study Guide: NYSTCE Exam Secrets Test Prep Team

2761. Nutrition for Healthy Living Updated with 2015-2020 Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 4th Edition: Wendy Schiff

2762. Nurse's Pocket Guide: Diagnoses, Prioritized Interventions and Rationales, 14th Edition: Marilynn E. Doenges & Mary Frances Moorhouse& Alice C. Murr

2763. Natural Hazards: Earth's Processes as Hazards, Disasters, and Catastrophes, 4th Edition: Edward A. Keller & Duane E. DeVecchio

2764. Mosby's Exam Review for Computed Tomography, 2nd Edition: Daniel N. DeMaio

2765. Mosby's Diagnostic and Laboratory Test Reference, 13th Edition: Kathleen Deska Pagana & Timothy J. Pagana & Theresa N Pagana

2766. Microbiology: A Systems Approach, 5th Edition: Marjorie Kelly Cowan

2767. Media, Crime, and Criminal Justice, 5th Edition: Ray Surette

2768. MCSA Guide to Installation, Storage, and Compute with Microsoft Windows Server2016, Exam 70-740, 1st Edition:

Do your worst!

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

When Red first proposed to Liz she could get all the answers, dangling a letter from her mother as an incentive, one she could only get after she killed Red, in order to establish herself as the heir to Red's throne, she had declined the offer. She was interested only in leaving, planning to live in Europe, and had talked to Cooper and Ressler, saying her goodbyes.

Apparently she was not going to say goodbye to Aram. Guess he did not warrant a goodbye visit.

But she was in the train station, waiting for Mrs. French to arrive, when she meets Beth Ryker, now a young woman, who recognizes her, tells her Liz had made the world a better place by saving those people, herself included. Liz tells her she is no longer with the FBI.

https://preview.redd.it/i97nds1txhj71.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=6ebd1d7c48f87eda62b5df4d186af89bfbb47a5f

The conversation is the pivotal moment for Liz, so here it is in its entirety.

>BETH RYKER: Excuse me? I'm sorry. I don't mean to stare. Are you Agent Keen? Elizabeth Keen?
>
>LIZ: Do we know each other?
>
>BETH RYKER: Uh, Beth Ryker. Daniel Ryker's my dad. General Ryker.
>
>LIZ: Oh, my God. That can't be you.
>
>BETH RYKER: I-I think about you all the time, what you did. Uh... You saved my life.

https://preview.redd.it/u8q2l8rpxhj71.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=74d537a0866a82b0d2655c6a685d0b897ff3df82

>LIZ: You were a very brave little girl.
>
>BETH RYKER: You probably don't remember the story you told me, about the scar your dad gave you, how it was... your secret weapon.
>
>LIZ: I left the Bureau.
>
>BETH RYKER: What do you do now?
>
>LIZ: I'm trying to figure that out.
>
>MAN ON PA The Keystone Service 3:45 to Philadelphia now boarding on Track 9. Keystone Service 3:45 to Philadelphia...
>
>BETH RYKER: That's my train. I can't believe it was really you.
>
>LIZ: Thanks for saying hello.
>
>BETH RYKER: My dad told me that if you hadn't defused that bomb, thousands of people would have died. Most people just... I don't know, live their lives. But you made the world a better place. So whatever you decide to do, I really hope you'll keep doing that.

Remember too, that Liz is unaware of the kill order that Cynthia Panabaker had conveyed to Cooper and Aram, the news that not only was Liz a wanted criminal, as Red ha