20 Hilarious Cut Finger Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

We got a new microwave at work. After heating my food for the first time in the new microwave I go to my colleagues and say to them "I just cut my fingers on the new microwave!"

They all startled "what happened?" I reply "it's Sharp!"

They murmured something and left the room...

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👤︎ u/KM130

📅︎ Apr 15 2021

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger chopping cheese

but I think that I may have grater problems.

👍︎ 32

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👤︎ u/lolyfe-dc

📅︎ Dec 06 2020

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A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...

I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.

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👤︎ u/shdchko

📅︎ Nov 12 2020

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Cut my finger while I was baking ...

You can't get blood out of a scone.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Dec 03 2020

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I cut my finger while slicing cheese.

It was extra sharp.

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👤︎ u/SketchPV

📅︎ Sep 14 2020

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My wife was grating some cheese then suddenly she pulled her hand away and said 'Ow, I think I cut my finger!'

I turned to her and said 'damn that is some sharp cheddar!'

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/TheDutchArmy

📅︎ May 20 2020

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I cut my finger cutting cheese.

I know it may be a cheesy story but I feel grate now.

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/coffee_cow

📅︎ Sep 25 2018

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I cut my finger the other day...

I told the doctor I could do the stitches on my own. He said, "Suture self."

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👤︎ u/DrewciferCDXX

📅︎ Jan 25 2017

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My mom got me with this one when I cut my finger...

We were sitting on the couch. She was watching TV and I sliced my finger on a magazine page when I turned it.

"Fukken A'," I cursed.

My mom, without looking. "Fuck a B, it's got two holes."

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/wannabgourmande

📅︎ Dec 01 2016

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Whenever I get poor service at restaurant I take the server out back and cut off the ends of their fingers.

A harsh thing to do, I know, but by the end of the night they don't have any tips.

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👤︎ u/harrisz2

📅︎ Jul 05 2014

🚨︎ report

A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...

So he'll be getting sever ance pay.

👍︎ 6

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👤︎ u/shdchko

📅︎ Mar 27 2020

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger chopping cheese.

but i think i may have grater problems

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/RussiaIsMyCity

📅︎ Apr 13 2020

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger while cutting cheese

But I may have grater problems

👍︎ 8

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👤︎ u/theMasterDerpy

📅︎ Jun 21 2019

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger chopping cheese...

But it think that I may have grater problems!

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/Tanmaythegr8

📅︎ Jun 30 2019

🚨︎ report

I cut my fingers off cutting cheese

I think I have grater problems

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👤︎ u/AlfTul

📅︎ Jun 21 2019

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger chopping cheese

But i have Grater problems

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/SideOfInsanity

📅︎ May 05 2019

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger chopping cheese...

I think I may have grater problems

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/JonRanch1989

📅︎ Sep 29 2018

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I cut my finger on some cheese.

It was sharp cheddar.

👍︎ 21

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👤︎ u/roowhyduh

📅︎ Dec 13 2016

🚨︎ report

I cut my finger slicing cheese...

I think I might have grater problems.

👍︎ 30

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👤︎ u/dank_m33m

📅︎ Dec 17 2016

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While I was cooking for my kids today, I cut my finger chopping cheese...

...but I think that I may have grater problems.

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Dec 07 2016

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