A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C

everyone said he was crazy but he was 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What happened to Betty Crocker?

She went stir crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I ran over 5 miles today

Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 397
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3ST3RR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I clean all my weapons with tree sap.

Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I met my wife at a mental institution...

We are crazy about each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff

It is enough to make a mango crazy

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I have a history class now.

I ain't that crazy about it. I think it's best left in the past.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WriteThatDown2007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Every once in a while you run into a truly eccentric proctologist

You know, one crazy ass doctor

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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So proud of my daughter, who ran upstairs to tell me our downstairs toilet was smoking.

She seemed really, really scared. When I told her I couldn’t smell smoke, she showed me this picture: https://imgur.com/gallery/RbplooY, giggling like crazy.

Chip off the old block she is!

Edit: thank you so much for my first ever award!!!

πŸ‘︎ 630
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdad0206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C

Everyone thought he was crazy but he was 0K

Taken from u/HassanMehdi on r/technicallythetruth

πŸ‘︎ 466
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruinsfan011
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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What is the plural of tarantula?

Run like crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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TIL about the 1860's guano wars in South America.

They were bat shit crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunbarian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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The chicken police

So my family has chickens and in order to understand how this pun came to be I must give a little background on a running joke my family makes. When our chickens do some crazy we’ll say something along the lines of β€œ(chicken’s name) is on crack.” This was a few days ago so I don’t remember the exact words but it went something like this: Somebody: (chicken’s name) you need to get off of whatever crack you’re on. In my head: Wait a second, I feel like I can make a pun here... And about 10 seconds of thinking later I said some along the lines of β€œOr else we might have to call the poultrice!”

Get it? Poultry + police. Felt like a genius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlatypusQueen17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Bird Jokes are very pun

Every where I go I see a group of ravens.

Call me crazy, but I think it’s a conspiracy.

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πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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True story. Needs your help to decide.

Driving home from the beach last week, my son said he'd like to sky dive. I told him he was crazy. And (here's where we need help) said "I'm not scared of heights". I said "neither am I. I'm scared of widths". We both laughed and couldn't decide if it was indeed a dad joke or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/murfstax
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I can't stop thinking about that one Gnarls Barkley song...

Does that make me crazy?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?

It was crazy, their lives were at steak

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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday?

Thanks, I’ll never part with it.

(Source - me. It’s my cake day and I’m bald!)

Actually it’s a meme my crazy aunt posted on FB page for me today.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hombredelgato
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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Two of my friends got into car accidents this week

Quarantine is driving people crazy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H3nley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Need a punny title for my screenplay

Hola. I need a punny title for the screenplay. Its a murder mystery type situation but its set in a university halls and instead of a murder, they're investigating the theft of a chicken Kiev from a shared kitchen. go crazy guys!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laurencethomas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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I had to moove to another city...

...because cows have been making me crazy back there.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjafop
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Many years ago, all the female Warlocks perished in the desert.

The individual male Warlocks, try as they might, could not master the art of bringing back their counterparts and all seemed lost.

Then, two young Warlocks found that, by working together - one recreating the body while the other recreated the soul - they could bring them back to life from the very sand they died in.

It's crazy but they could finish each other's Sand Witches.

πŸ‘︎ 144
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techKnowGeek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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My uncle is so cringey lol

I called some relatives and got to hear this gem of a conversation:

My stupid teenage cousin wants to go to some party and my uncle was so cringe. He said to him that everything was dangerous due to exposure and he quoted statements made popular in the news:

Steven: I want to go to Nikki's No School party.

Uncle: Are you crazy? You have to be safe. What about social distancing, Steve?

Steven: I'm not going to get sick. I'm not old.

Uncle: Yeah you can, you idiot. You're not going. Hashtag go home, I mean stay home.

I was like πŸ™„

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourenotquiteme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Pandemic jokes are the greatest!

They spread like crazy!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Drunken_Whale
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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2 crazy men were trying to escape from a mental facility...

but the only way out was from the roof. They got up there, before realizing they didn’t have any rope. One guy says, β€œOh yeah! I’ve got a flashlight! Ill point it to the ground and you can climb down the beam.” The other guy says, β€œWhat, am I crazy? I’d get half way down and you’d turn it off!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carasius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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What do you call an insane vampire?

Batshit crazy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastercore8112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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Guest

Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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I hate autocorrect

If it changes one more thing I’ll go ducking crazy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shimmywaffles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My wife found out I was cheating after she found all the letters I had hidden.

She went crazy and said she won't play Scrabble with me again

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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My neighbors keep putting food in their window...

I always thought it was weird. It started normal, apples, bananas, but then they started putting other things like pizzas and cakes there. I thought they were crazy, but it seemed no one else did.

But today, they put almonds in the window.

Now everyone can see their nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Every Girl...

My buddy Dan hated this picture.

I told him he had it wrong, because....

https://preview.redd.it/a8938op039o31.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1efb0347ef57317f3ca2ca41199518c677207bb

.... "Every Girl Crazy 'bout a Shark Dress, Man !"

(spins guitar on belt buckle)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zman4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone a at sea.

He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.

He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.

The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.

Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/basmith0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Canape Canape
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Rare diseases carried by bat droppings

Be careful to avoid bat droppings. You can catch a rare disease from them that can drive you batshit crazy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiaor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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My dad's birthday is today (12/14/45). To him and all other dads and dad-like figures out there...

....thank you for the dad jokes. They may not all make us die laughing and some we've heard you tell a million times over, but the one thing they have in common is that they're told in kindness and they put a little smile on our faces. And living in this crazy world, that's a very good thing. I love you dad.

πŸ‘︎ 303
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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I hate it when planes don’t have free wifi.

It drives me bored air line crazy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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What is the similarity between a bra and a bar?

They both drive men crazy when they open.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rajnish4444
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My wife is going through a tropical food craze. There are fruits all over the house!

It's enough to make a mango crazy!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My girlfriend started an all fruit diet yesterday, the house is FULL of the stuff.

ItsΒ enoughΒ toΒ makeΒ aΒ mangoΒ crazy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My wife started a tropical diet recently.

There's so much stuff in the house it would make a mango crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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My wife is on a tropical food diet and now the house is full of this stuff.

That's enough to make a mango crazy.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe_dsr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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