Cornelius Roosevelt Puns

aaron abbey abbie abby abdul abe abel abigail abraham abram ada adah adalberto adaline adam adan addie adela adelaida adelaide adele adelia adelina adeline adell adella adelle adena adina adolfo adolph adria adrian adriana adriane adrianna adrianne adrien adriene adrienne afton agatha agnes agnus agripina agueda agustin agustina ahmad ahmed ai aida aide aiko aileen ailene aimee aisha aja akiko akilah al alaina alaine alan alana alane alanna alayna alba albert alberta albertha albertina albertine alberto albina alda alden aldo alease alec alecia aleen aleida aleisha alejandra alejandrina alejandro alena alene alesha aleshia alesia alessandra aleta aletha alethea alethia alex alexa alexander alexandra alexandria alexia alexis alfonso alfonzo alfred alfreda alfredia alfredo ali alia alica alice alicia alida alina aline alisa alise alisha alishia alisia alison alissa alita alix aliza alla allan alleen allegra allen allena allene allie alline allison allyn allyson alma almeda almeta alona alonso alonzo alpha alphonse alphonso alta altagracia altha althea alton alva alvaro alvera alverta alvin alvina alyce alycia alysa alyse alysha alysia alyson alyssa amada amado amal amalia amanda amber amberly ambrose amee amelia america ami amie amiee amina amira ammie amos amparo amy an ana anabel analisa anamaria anastacia anastasia andera anderson andra andre andrea andreas andree andres andrew andria andy anette angel angela angele angelena angeles angelia angelic angelica angelika angelina angeline angelique angelita angella angelo angelyn angie angila angla angle anglea anh anibal anika anisa anisha anissa anita anitra anja anjanette anjelica ann anna annabel annabell annabelle annalee annalisa annamae annamaria annamarie anne anneliese annelle annemarie annett annetta annette annice annie annika annis annita annmarie anthony antione antionette antoine antoinette anton antone antonetta antonette antonia antonietta antonina antonio antony antwan anya apolonia april apryl ara araceli aracelis aracely arcelia archie ardath ardelia ardell ardella ardelle arden ardis ardith aretha argelia argentina ariana ariane arianna arianne arica arie ariel arielle arla arlean arleen arlen arlena arlene arletha arletta arlette arlie arlinda arline arlyne armand armanda armandina armando armida arminda arnetta arnette arnita arnold arnoldo arnulfo aron arron art arthur artie arturo arvilla asa asha ashanti ashely ashlea ashlee ashleigh ashley ashli ashlie ashly ashlyn ashton asia asley a

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

But let me give it a shot.

He’s the new temp.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Today is the fourteenth of September! MOASS almost definitely confirmed for today, because as more and more apes direct register at ComputerShare, IBKR indicates they are overwhelmed by many messages and WealthSimple presumably falsely claims they're ordered to stop the whole direct registration process! Look what this day brought us over the past years, and just imagine what that day will bring us in 2021! <3

Events

81 – Domitian becomes Emperor of the Roman Empire upon the death of his brother Titus.

629 – Emperor Heraclius enters Constantinople in triumph after his victory over the Persian Empire.

786 – "Night of the three Caliphs": Harun al-Rashid becomes the Abbasid caliph upon the death of his brother al-Hadi. Birth of Harun's son al-Ma'mun.

919 – Battle of Islandbridge: High King Niall Glúndub is killed while leading an Irish coalition against the Vikings of Uí Ímair, led by King Sitric Cáech.

1180 – Genpei War: Battle of Ishibashiyama in Japan.

1226 – The first recorded instance of the Catholic practice of perpetual Eucharistic adoration formally begins in Avignon, France.

1402 – Battle of Homildon Hill results in an English victory over Scotland.

1607 – Flight of the Earls from Lough Swilly, Donegal, Ireland.

1682 – Bishop Gore School, one of the oldest schools in Wales, is founded.

1723 – Grand Master António Manoel de Vilhena lays down the first stone of Fort Manoel in Malta.

1741 – George Frideric Handel completes his oratorio Messiah.

1752 – The British Empire adopts the Gregorian calendar, skipping eleven days (the previous day was September 2).

1763 – Seneca warriors defeat British forces at the Battle of Devil's Hole during Pontiac's War.

1782 – American Revolutionary War: Review of the French troops under General Rochambeau by General George Washington at Verplanck's Point, New York.

1791 – The Papal States lose Avignon to Revolutionary France.

1808 – Finnish War: Russians defeat the Swedes at the Battle of Oravais.

1812 – Napoleonic Wars: The French Grande Armée enters Moscow. The Fire of Moscow begins as soon as Russian troops leave the city.

1814 – Battle of Baltimore: The poem Defence of Fort McHenry is written by Francis Scott Key. The poem is later used as the lyrics of The Star-Spangled Banner.

1829 – The Ottoman Empire signs the Treaty of Adrianople with Russia, thus ending the Russo-Turkish War.

1846 – Jang Bahadur and his brothers massacre about 40 members of the Nepalese palace court.

1862 – Ame

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Christopher Walken

RemixRotation Tech House Chart November 2021
RELEASE DATE 2021-11-08
CHART DATE 2021-11-07
AUDIO FORMAT MP3 320Kbps CBR
NiTROFLARE DOWNLOAD Part1 / Part2 / Part3 / Part4
WEBSITE remixrotation.com/charts/tech-house.html
TOTAL SIZE 7.58GB
567 TRACKS:

1. Curtiba – Teach You (Extended Mix) 05:00 124bpm F
2. Jesse Rose – Evening Standard () 05:24 124bpm F#
3. Bad Boy Bill – Go to Work (edit) 02:41 128bpm Db
4. Dan Mckie, Tom Brownlow – Paradise (Original Mix) 05:40 125bpm Cm
5. Vorslov – Move Me (Extended Mix) 05:21 95bpm F
6. Max Styler, Kyle Walker – Give It Up (Extended Mix) 05:35 126bpm Gbm
7. Stephan Bodzin – Earth (Original Mix) 07:32 125bpm Bm
8. Allen(IT) – If I Believe (Original Mix) 05:35 126bpm Bb
9. Lee Foss, Joshwa – My Humps (Original Mix) 05:28 129bpm E
10. Red Axes – Some Lights (Original Mix) 05:42 122bpm F
11. Gregor Salto, Funkin Matt, Lilitha – Not For Me (Club Mix) 05:10 124bpm A♭ min
12. Chris Lorenzo – California Dreamin’ feat. High Jinx (Original Mix) 06:31 128bpm Ebm
13. Josh Wink – New Years Day Acid (John Tejada Remix) 08:27 125bpm Gm
14. Mosimann – Don’t Cha (Vintage Culture Extended Remix) 04:36 125bpm Bb
15. Red Axes – Professor Grasstov (Original Mix) 05:14 120bpm Db
16. The Deepshakerz – The Drunky Trumpeters (Original Mix) 06:07 126bpm G
17. Biscits – Wait A Minute (Extended Mix) 06:34 126bpm F
18. Booka Shade – Drago (Original Mix) 06:49 123bpm Gb
19. Johnny Stayer – More Than You (Original Mix) 05:51 123bpm Db
20. Versus – Red Light (Original Mix) 06:07 127bpm Ebm
21. Chiqito – Dance Of The Sugar (Original Mix) 06:34 128bpm Am
22. Tommy Myst – The Drums Pound The Earth (Original Mix) 07:48 125bpm Dm
23. Ben Kim – Somebody To Love (Extended Mix) 06:00 128bpm G♭ maj
24. Slam – Positive Education (Original Mix) 08:37 127bpm Ebm
25. Matt Sassari – Give It To Me (Full Vocal Mix – Extended) 05:39 126bpm Abm
26. Claude VonStroke, Nala – Everything Is Burning (Original Mix) 05:55 78bpm C
27. Cloonee – Love You Like That (Original Mix) *05: