Connor Gaston Puns

#FT: Ayr United 1-0 Arbroath

Ayr United scorers: James Maxwell (18')

Venue: Somerset Park

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LINE-UPS

Ayr United

Aidan McAdams, Sean McGinty, Jack Baird, Aaron Muirhead, Patrick Reading, Jordan Houston, Andrew Murdoch, Joe Chalmers, James Maxwell Daire O'Conchubhair, Mark McKenzie Nicholas Mcallister, Michael Moffat Fraser Bryden.

Subs: Charlie Albinson, Finn Ecrepont.

^____________________________

Arbroath

Derek Gaston, Thomas O'Brien, Ricky Little, Colin Hamilton, David Gold Nicky Low, Christopher Hamilton, Michael McKenna, James Craigen Dale Hilson, Scott Stewart Bobby Linn, Joel Jonathan Nouble, Jack Hamilton.

Subs: Calum Antell, Luke Donnelly, Gavin Swankie, Liam Henderson.

MATCH STATS | via BBC

MATCH EVENTS | via ESPN

18' Goal! Ayr United 1, Arbroath 0. James Maxwell (Ayr United) right footed shot from the right side of the box to the bottom right corner.

64' Substitution, Arbroath. Nicky Low replaces David Gold.

69' Substitution, Arbroath. Bobby Linn replaces Scott Stewart.

77' Substitution, Ayr United. Fraser Bryden replaces Michael Moffat.

80' Substitution, Ayr United. Daire O'Connor replaces James Maxwell.

83' Jack Baird (Ayr United) is shown the yellow card.

83' Substitution, Arbroath. Dale Hilson replaces James Craigen.

90'+4' Substitution, Ayr United. Nicholas McAllister replaces Mark McKenzie.

^____________________________

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I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

The place is Birmingham, Alabama. Two days ago a bomb was found at the parsonage of Reverend Alfred D. King, who pastored at the First Baptist Church of Ensley there in Birmingham. His more famous brother, Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., had been arrested in Birmingham earlier in April which portended a summer of violence.

Eugene "Bull" Connor, the former chief of the Birmingham Police, had unleashed his men earlier in the year. Civil rights protesters were blasted with high pressure fire hoses, leaving them deafened and blinded and their skin raw. K9 units loosed police dogs on those who the fire hoses did not knock down, leaving numerous men mauled. Daily, rocks are thrown and slogans chanted. The violence did not seem to abate in the months succeeding his departure.

Another bomb detonated today in the parking lot of the Gaston Hotel in central Birmingham, causing severe damage to several trailers utilized by Dr. King’s civil rights organization the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. While the bomb was placed directly beneath his hotel room window, Dr. King was left unharmed. The blast was audible throughout the city and the bombing conducted by the Ku Klux Klan, a white supremacist group with its origins in the Confederacy.

Depending on where one was in Birmingham, crowds of African-Americans emerged into the streets singing “We Shall Overcome” or crowds of whites emerged singing “Dixie.” The riot began shortly thereafter.

Birmingham Police found themselves overwhelmed. Bricks were thrown, rocks were hurled, at least one police officer-- Officer J. N. Spivey-- was set upon and stabbed multiple times. Reverend A. King at one point stood atop a police cruiser and beseeched his fellow civil rights protesters to take aim at him, not the police, and to stay the nonviolent course charted by the SCLC and his elder brother. He was largely ignored.

Vast numbers of correspondents from news agencies both national and international in scope have been caught in the middle of the rioting. Harrowing footage of horse-mounted State Troopers dispatched by Governor George Wallace of Alabama, riding along the streets while carrying submachine guns and dispersing protesters, has reached television screens around the globe.

By the end of the first night of riots, altogether 123 individuals have been hospitalized in area hospitals with varying degrees of injury, including 16 police officers. One unfortunate individual, a police officer, has been confirm

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678