Command Officer Puns

A list of puns related to "Command Officer"

My long past criminally psychopathic grandfather’s favourite joke: What do you get if you cut a policeman’s head into four pieces?

Police Headquarters…..

👍︎ 891
💬︎
👤︎ u/WeareStarstuff7
📅︎ Feb 17 2022
🚨︎ report
I finally finished my training film for army commanding officers after more than 18 attempts.

Now I have CO vid 19.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/bobskimo
📅︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Prisoners of war are being lined but, shoulder to shoulder in front of a German officer.

In his accent, the officer commands the prisoners to stand up straight. He then tells them to move their body left and right in unison, whilst also saying 'tick' when they lean to the left, and 'tock' when they lean to the right, like a clock.

All the men bar one comply. The one only leans to left and says 'tick'. Irate, the officer shouts: "What are you doing? Why are you not tock-ing?!"

The man ignores him and continues to 'tick' to the left.

The officer leans in: "We have ways of making you TOCK!"

👍︎ 8
💬︎
👤︎ u/askmeforbunnypics
📅︎ Mar 26 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a commanding officer whose briefings always put you to sleep?

General Anaesthesia.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/cobblecloth
📅︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
As a soldier, when I know it's time to leave, I want get moving ASAP, but my commanding officer always says.....

... that we eat first and March 2nd.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/nowletsthinkabouthis
📅︎ Mar 02 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.