http://i.imgur.com/AXGArPI.jpg

Thanks as always to BlueFishCake.

Other chapters

Part 3: Crumb

Chapter 23: Ask Me Anything

It felt like she’d only just closed her eyes when Ashley was shaken awake. The window was dark; she had no idea what time it was, though as she’d been up past midnight planning for the next day’s operations, she at least had a lower bound. One of the techs was standing over her, a cup of coffee in his hand. He passed it over as she sat up.

“Ma’am, we got a message you need to see. I can’t make heads nor tails of it, but it authenticated over one of our high-priority frequency-knocking sequences.” He passed a hand-scrawled sheet of paper over to her.

Ashley accepted the cup groggily, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs of sleep. “You have the authentication pattern?”

The tech nodded and pointed to a column of numbers on the side, each representing a frequency on which a signal had been sent, prefacing the message. She had a couple of patterns memorized, the ones that meant immediate danger, or that heralded a call from Central Command. This matched neither, which meant she needed her code book. She yawned. “Send an acknowledgement. I’ll be down in a minute.”

The ham radio network had turned out to be the Resistance’s most reliable means of communicating over long distances. Ashley didn’t trust the internet, and her organization moved frequently enough that getting a reliable connection often just didn’t happen before they had to move again. Having a network of reliable agents, spread out all over the sparsely populated area near the old Canadian border, each with a code book and a wireless set, had proved highly effective.

Even if it did mean occasionally being woken in the middle of the night to decode a secret message from an unknown source.

Ashley pulled her coat over her nightclothes and stamped her feet into boots. She pulled her code book from among the technical manuals stacked on her nightstand, and, coffee in hand, made her way to the makeshift command room. She dropped the code book on the table, and examined the sheet again.

With the code book, it didn’t take a long time to finish translating the message. “L taken by Imperial transport East-North-East. Enemies – killed 3 humans, wounded 1 Shil’vati, no prisoners. RM.” The problem was, who were L and RM? The ciphers they used were basic, by design, and whoever had sent this had taken the lessons of br

This adventure is meant to replace the Holed up quest in Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden. I never quite understood why the Winter Wolves would extort the village for gold (food, yes. But gold?). And if the Winter Wolves were only after food, why wouldn’t they just attack the villagers as opposed to going through this complex, theatrical extortion scheme? It’s possible that this this particular adventure was meant for a younger audience but it didn’t quite work for my campaign, so I rewrote it into the following adventure. It also works for basically any other D&D setting if you adjust the locations and names.

Trigger Warning: >!Child Endangerment, Child Abduction, Potential Child Death!<

Overview

Dougan’s Hole, the smallest and southern-most settlement of Ten-Towns in Icewind Dale, is living in fear. At first monstrous wolves found their way into the city, captured a number of villagers and carried them off into the dark woods surrounding the settlement. Now children have started disappearing. Any attempts to leave the village in order to seek help were met by ambushes of monstrous creatures. Now the people have locked themselves into their huts hoping that help will come.

Winter Wolves attack (Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden, by Wizards of the Coast)

Background

An Annis Hag by the name of Old Ethel has sought to make her lair near Dougan’s Hole. She uses beasts and monstrous creatures as her minions to torment the people of Dougan’s Hole and fill their lives with unfathomable dread. When the Winter Wolves first attacked, they left behind a token in the snow, an iron toy unicorn. Through it, the Annis Hag was able to whisper promises and comfort into the ears of the children who interacted with the token. Eventually she lured them out of their houses at night and used her minions to abduct them. While Old Ethel delights in feasting on human flesh, she primarily seeks to create a coven and has therefore abducted Finn and Silja (both female in this scenario), with the goal of transforming them into hags. If the characters manage to stop her in time, the children could still be saved.

Getting the Quest

The characters might become aware of the situation through rumors they hear in taverns or elsewhere. Enclosed are some possible adventure hooks

• Missing Delivery. A delivery of wooden l

They'd given us a big room on the second floor, with windows that faced west towards the setting sun. When I walked in all the lights were off. A few of the women held candles, and one of the men, a slim fellow well into his thirties, black hair swept back to frame a sharp widow’s peak, was playing idly with a flashlight. He cast shadows against the wall beside the door; they were playful, until they turned into intertwining snakes.

It was a writers’ meetup, one of the endless bits of trivia that piggybacked on the convention scene. World-building this time, though there hadn’t been a byline. World-building had been enough for me.

It was a full house too, and I was the last one there. Someone had stacked chairs against the blank, cream-colored south wall, hard black plastic affairs that I hadn’t seen since high school. I grabbed one and dragged it towards the wide circle in the center of the room, fighting the urge to turn it over and check for gum. Chairs scraped against the tile as my impromptu neighbors scooted far enough apart.

“Hello,” said a tall, imperious woman. A circle has no head, but one look at her and I knew who’d taken charge. “We were just discussing our successes. The creations that we’re proudest of.”

“Yeah,” the man with the flashlight said, his snakes dancing across the wall, “and it was your turn.”

The woman offered him a tight-lipped smile and I settled in. It happened often enough, that there was history at these events I didn’t know about. The world off the page always felt like someone else’s story, complete with a first act that I’d barely even skimmed.

“I’m proudest of the olive tree,” she said. She leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other. She wore a charcoal gray sweater, finely woven, the collar ringed by little owls. I blinked hard, and then I did it again. It must have been the light, but it looked like the owls were chasing each other.

She said, “I love olives, that salty crispness. With bread or cheese, pasta. And can you imagine a life without olive oil? I can’t. The olive was my finest hour.”

Then she turned on the man making shadow puppets. His flashlight sputtered and failed and he glanced down at it in annoyance before tossing it across the room. It hit the wall, a dull echo diffusing through the room.

“Well,” he said, “you’ve seen my snakes.”

“Snakes were a mistake,” someone across the circle called.

There was a laugh then, murmurs of agreement. I looked at the crowd again, considering. Be

With Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, Super Contests are back, but very different from Diamond/Pearl/Platinum.

Contest Format

The contests now have just two phases: visual and dancing. The visual is based off of condition and, as a new addition, stickers on the chosen ball capsule. Dancing is more of a rhythm game with being able to activate a single move once. There are no longer any accessories or dressing up your pokemon. There is also no longer an appeal phase or moves having contest condition type.

After each contest, the dance performance is judged as a success or failure, depending on the collective amount of Hype Points (more on that later) are obtained. If the performance is successful, you will be able to move onto the next rank in that contest. So it is required that the performance is successful in order to move up the ranks. If a Master Rank dance performance is successful, you will also receive a trainer star on your trainer card (you don't need to be the "Star of the Show")! You will also obtain points for the stage rank, up to rank 4. Increasing stage rank makes the stage bigger. Stage rank is purely cosmetic as far as I can tell.

After that, the "Star of the Show" is announced, which is who won the contest. This is a combination of your visual, dance, and move score. If you win, you receive either a sticker or a a ribbon. The sticker you receive will usually correspond to the rank you are competing in, as in, Coolness Normal Rank gives you cool sticker A, Beauty Great Rank gives you beauty sticker B, etc. Sometimes, roughly 1/4 times, you will receive the sticker for the above rank instead. On Master Rank, your first win as the "Star of the Show" with that pokemon will get you the Master Ribbon, and subsequent wins will give you the sticker D. Importantly, the dance performance does not need to be considered a success in order for you to receive the ribbon.

Ribbons

The ribbons you can get are:

​

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

This was written by Russell T Davies and it was from before Rose was broadcast, and the issue previewed that episode. The latest issue of Doctor Who Magazine, which looks back on the New Year's Day special, is on sale now.

Want an archive of the previous Production Notes that have been posted on /r/gallifrey?: Follow this link or this one.

##That Was The Week That Was

I had planned to be grand. I thought I might use this issue, which should coincide with the transmission of Episode 1, to be the elder statesman. An ambassador! To welcome readers new and old to the shiny new world of Doctor Who and his travelling Time Ship...

Yeah, well, I haven't got time! That would take a bit of work, and the series is demanding every second. So I'll just bumble on and describe my week, and new readers will just have to run alongside. Which is probably for the best, the old plan sounded a bit pompous anyway (I am wearing ermine robes).

Monday 31 January

I'm being followed by a documentary crew. Or am I just paranoid? No, they exist, I can touch them. It's not Doctor Who Confidential, or BBC Publicity's Electronic Press Kit, this is a third crew. Just for me! BBC Four is producing a documentary, about yours truly, to coincide with the launch of Casanova on BBC Three, to be screened a couple of weeks before Doctor Who hits the air. Yes, more me. Aren't you just sick of it? I am, but there you go. The difficult thing is, they're filming me while working on Doctor Who, so we've got to keep the Who material hidden cos we're in production on episodes which won't be seen for months.

First of all, they film Julie, Phil, Brian Grant (director) and John Richards (editor) having our very first viewing of Episode 7, The Long Game. This is when we sit and watch the first edit of the completed episode, and give notes. The episode turns out to be much funnier than I'd expected - Simon Pegg's having a whale of a time - so there's probably a lot of BBC Four footage of us hooting at our own material. Oh God, that could look grim. But the whole point of the filming is to observe how we look at particular scenes, and maybe change them - too funny, too scary, too dull, too fast? And the BBC Four director wants to lift out scenes that are changing, to demonstrate the process. But she can't! This footage shouldn't be seen fo

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

So my players got a wish through some clever play at Xonthals tower. They wished for "The knowledge of a great artifact to help them in the battle agianst Tiamat". I was to reward them for not just wishing for the object and give them a real answer.

Any ideas, I was thinking about some of the new items from Fizbans, like a dragonlance, or The Platinum Scarf.

And who would be in possession of that object now?

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

The multiverse is large. Infinitely so.

Within the realms, dimensions and sub-realities of each part of the multiverse there man who can breach the barriers and leap to other sections of the multi-verse. These individuals are often gifted or cursed with such power.

But a select few breach through of their own will. Often fueled by immense will power and natural gifts beyond most understanding.

Among those infamous in the multiverse is the “Cursed Jumper”, Alan Quain, a psionic from “Super Hero” world. He angered a parasite natural to the realms between realities and now it shunts him from one world to the next after each death. In one of these world far into his “punishment” he found love and had a daughter, but he would not outlive this child as had with many others. A Tyrant of hate would end his life early and leave his daughter in a rage unlike she had ever known.
I broke the rules of my kind to guide her to a way to find her father. I watch her journey's now, guiding when I can, sending aid in unlikely places and making sure she returns to her father. These are the chronicles of Annalise Quain;

The Daughter that Followed:

Sifu's Child

Part 1

“Ow-ow-ow...” Anna came to consciousness slowly. Slowly and painfully. She felt the tug of stitching in her shoulder and groaned. Then she became aware of the minds around her. One was a brilliant shining example of morality and brilliance, another was a solid rock of unreadable stoicism and the other she felt was walled off, shielded and protected with the touch of her father's power and training.

“You are safe Sifu's Daughter.” She heard the thought pushed to her and slowly opened her eyes to see she was in a medical center somewhere. A doctor was sitting nearby reading documents, a dark skinned serious looking woman was watching her and a very close face greeted her as she finished scanning the room. She stopped and simply stared at the very, very close face.

“River.” The woman said. “I think that's a might disconcerting.”

“I have sifu's touch. It comforts.” The younger woman said. “She will not panic.”

Annalise panicked and her aura sparked to life flinging tools and materials about.

“Easy!” The doctor turned to the scene. “You're Alan's daughter?”

Anna focused on him. She saw friendly jabs and barbs but equal amounts of respect. She saw her father tearing through enemies in rage and colla

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

The doctor says it terminal.

With Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, Super Contests are back, but very different from Diamond/Pearl/Platinum.

Contest Format

The contests now have just two phases: visual and dancing. The visual is based off of condition and, as a new addition, stickers on the chosen ball capsule. Dancing is more of a rhythm game with being able to activate a single move once. There are no longer any accessories or dressing up your pokemon. There is also no longer an appeal phase or moves having contest condition type.

After each contest, the dance performance is judged as a success or failure, depending on the collective amount of Hype Points (more on that later) are obtained. If the performance is successful, you will be able to move onto the next rank in that contest. So it is required that the performance is successful in order to move up the ranks. If a Master Rank dance performance is successful, you will also receive a trainer star on your trainer card (you don't need to be the "Star of the Show")! You will also obtain points for the stage rank, up to rank 4. Increasing stage rank makes the stage bigger. Stage rank is purely cosmetic as far as I can tell.

After that, the "Star of the Show" is announced, which is who won the contest. This is a combination of your visual, dance, and move score. If you win, you receive either a sticker or a a ribbon. The sticker you receive will usually correspond to the rank you are competing in, as in, Coolness Normal Rank gives you cool sticker A, Beauty Great Rank gives you beauty sticker B, etc. Sometimes, roughly 1/4 times, you will receive the sticker for the above rank instead. On Master Rank, your first win as the "Star of the Show" with that pokemon will get you the Master Ribbon, and subsequent wins will give you the sticker D. Importantly, the dance performance does not need to be considered a success in order for you to receive the ribbon.

Ribbons

The ribbons you can get are:

​