Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
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...................................
(Part 001)
...
After Fae's appearance, more than half an hour passes before another group of demons shows up. Surprisingly, when the giant double-doors to the room open, a massive group of half a dozen Emperors, Dukes, and their attendants walks in, with more than thirty attendees in total.
Benjamin Brown turns slightly in his chair to inspect the new arrivals, then mutters under his breath. "Oh? The Hells of Isolation and Lust showed up simultaneously. Interesting."
The Hell of Isolation, founded by the brother and sister Emperor duo, Shax, the Emperor of Resonance, and Murmur, the Emperor of Whispers. Its group consists of two Emperors and a Duke, along with their attendants.
First among the Sixth Hell's guests is Melody, the Emperor of Suppression. Despite her sing-songy name, her appearance is somewhat macho, with a relatively toned and muscular body, thick, full black hair that stretches down to her waist, and teeth studded with jewels. She wears an absurd amount of jewelry around her neck, on her face, and all over her hands. Even her bare midriff reveals a couple of piercings in her belly.
"Sup, losers?" Melody asks, her tone harsh. "Now that the life of the party's here, let's get started! Hahaha!"
She flashes a thumbs-up to Fae, who grins back in response.
"Finally, someone fun!" Fae replies.
Behind Melody stands Guura, the Emperor of Control. A playful-looking young girl with white and pink streaked hair, she appears to be only a young teenager, though when it c
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Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
Buenosdillas
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
A happy Uncle.....
