Classical Pentecostalism Puns

Howdy! Welcome to Day 25 of the r/indieheads Album of the Year 2021 Write-Up Series, our annual event where we showcase pieces from some of our favorite writers on the subreddit talking about their favorite records of the year! Today, we have u/danitykane on Lingua Ignota's SINNER GET READY.

August 6th, 2021 - Sargent House

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Background by /u/danitykane:

Lingua Ignota is the American singer, songwriter, and instrumentalist Kristin Hayter. Her music draws from varied sources, including extreme metal and classical, striking a noisy balance between the harsh and the serene, mostly the former. Her first two albums were self-released in 2017: LET THE EVIL OF HIS OWN LIPS COVER HIM and ALL BITCHES DIE. The waves they made were enough to earn the latter a rerelease on an indie label, making the way for 2019’s CALIGULA. That album truly broke ground, Hayter’s vocals only giving you enough beauty to take a breath before dragging you into the fires of hell. Guttural, grating, and, in Hayter’s own words - “ugly”, the album depicts the cycle of abuse in a way that many might consider gratuitous. They’re wrong, though: in its extreme, it is refreshing and honest. The best thing about her music is that it doesn’t “shine a light” on issues surrounding abuse and violence; it grabs you by the face and forces you to see the stories as they are and how they affect people. It’s not easy music to listen to, and I’ll admit to some of it testing my personal taste level. Even so, it is impossible to not respect the craftsmanship and power on display here.

In 2021, Hayter announced the followup to CALIGULA, the confrontationally-named SINNER GET READY with the release of the self-produced video for “PENNSYLVANIA FURNACE”. Much of the metal influences from her previous work were turned down in favor of an Appalachian folk sound, but the trademark intensity remained. It arrived on August 6 to rave reviews, including a rare perfect 10 from Anthony Fantano, setting off a wave of discourse and introducing Lingua Ignota to n

Today's contestants are:

• Cory, an interactive designer, designed board games;
• Clark, an attorney, had a baby during law school (not named Jurisprudence); and
• Amy, an engineering manager, embraced her Irish heritage at an early age. Amy is a 31-day champ with winnings of $1,068,800.

Jeopardy! round

PEOPLE IN HISTORY

LITERARY DECADES

WE GOT STUCK

MIDDLE X

PLATES, POTS & PANS

ROM-DRAMS

Scores going into DJ: Amy $10,400, Clark $2,800, Cory $1,200.

DD1 - $800 - MIDDLE X - A bumper sticker favorite, it means to live together peacefully despite differences (Amy won $2,000 from her leading score of $6,400.)

Double Jeopardy!

MOUNTAINS OF THE WORLD

MODERN ART

PLANT TERMINOLOGY

CUTS FROM THE CLASSIC ALBUM

5-LETTER WORDS

ANCIENT FAITH

Amy extended her advantage on DD1, then dominated in DJ, scoring on both DDs and leading into FJ with $28,400 vs. $11,200 for Cory and $4,000 for Clark.

DD2 - $1,600 - MOUNTAINS OF THE WORLD - The Loma Mountains, rising to just over 6,000 feet, are the highest in this African country whose name means "lion mountains" (Amy won $4,000 from her total of $12,800 vs. $6,000 for Cory.)

DD3 - $2,000 - ANCIENT FAITH - Acts 2 describes the gathering of the disciples on this holy day sometimes described as "Babel reversed" (Amy won $2,000 from her score of $21,200 vs. $6,000 for Cory.)

Final Jeopardy!

THE WORDS OF VICTOR HUGO - This object “is the ultimate expression of law, & its name is vengeance; it is not neutral, nor does it allow us to remain neutral”

Only Amy was correct, breaking her 3-game streak of missing FJ. Amy added $4,000 to win with $32,800 for a 32-day total of $1,101,600, and has now tied James in regular game victories.

Odds and Ends

That's before our time: More pieces of 1970s pop culture bit the dust, as no one knew "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" was from that decade, or could name the legendary 1971 Marvin Gaye album "What's Going On".

Ken's Korner: He perhaps gave Johnny an idea to try out a new introduction next time: "And now, hosting Jeopardy!, that trainee TV host from Seattle, Ken something!"

Correct Qs: DD1 - What is coexist? DD2 - What is Sierra Leone? DD3 - What is Pentecost? FJ - What is guillotine?

Link to daily box score: https://www.jeopardy.com/sites/default/files/social_meta/Jeopardy!_38_011322_Daily_Box_Score_v1.jpg

As a preamble, as a non american person, i'd like to underline the fact that this is not an anti american rant, the same critic could be made from any other countries (my own country would deserve many posts on its own...). I only emphasize on the US Army here because it's so related to the topic of this subreddit.

Also, despite the beginning of this post, this IS about UFOs and this community.

The US Army is compromised by fundamentalist religious groups...

The US Army has a very important document titled "General Order Number One" that prohibits "proselytizing of any religion, faith or practice". Yet this document has been openly violated countless times. You can see a worrying number of videos of proselytizing army upper grades.

An example here :

https://www.au.org/church-state/june-2009-church-state/people-events/afghan-video-reveals-problems-with-proselytism-by

Multiple cases of bibles financed by evangelical churches in the US being given to Afghan population have been reported (this might explain the tremendous success in this war...). Many denominations are responsible, apparently.

Once a Pentecostal chaplain told cadets to "accept Christ or burn in hell", to which the Air Force investigative panel refused punishment since this behavior was "not uncommon" in this denomination. A Lutheran chaplain, quoted in the article linked here, MeLinda Morton, said that the evangelical pressure was "systematic".

Remember the highly religious speeches of Bush Jr to justify the war in Irak (refering to it as "Gog and Magog"...) or the endorsement by general David Petraeus of the book "Under orders : a spiritual handbook for military personel" by Air Force lieutenant colonel William McCoy, which says in it that the separation between church and state is a "twisted idea".

I wholeheartedly reject the "psy-op" term and call this behavior for what it is, prozelytizing and propaganda. This is another problem in this community that should be adressed in another post on itself, the childish pseudo cryptic language used here for pretended PR reasons (intel = spy, long time consistency in testimony = gaslighting, psy-op = propaganda, breadcrumbs = confusing correlation and causality...etc) ... or when the PR transforms into RP !

And this penetration, this propaganda isn't limited to only evangelical groups, muslim groups hav

The time has come again to gather pine boughs and light the candles of red and silver, gold and green. The cool breezes and smoke-and-loam scented air of autumn is giving way to the frigid winds and pale sun of winter.  Snow, ice, and sleet dominate the days, and a gently gray haze sifts over the treetops, filtering the sun and soaking into clothing and bones, settling the long cold ahead into our very marrow.  The harvests have been stored, the animals brought in from the field, the fields themselves turned for the seasons, the scrapped remnants of crops burned and turned with the soil to provide nutrients for the following year.  The old folks settle into warm rooms with the youngsters, trading stories and traditions as they rub sore joints and comfort little runny noses.  Candlelight, hearth fires, and warm ovens abound as the natural light of the sun fades and the days grow short.  Lights, warmth, and love are shared at this time to fend off the sadness and loss of the sun, to ward off the reminders of death and age that abound in the winter, and to celebrate the light and life that will come again in the spring.  It is a time of rest, introspection, story-telling, hobby building, warmth, and love.

Post your lore, your traditions, what Yule means to you, recipes, plans; go nuts ya filthy animals!

Yule:

What It Is: Pronounced YOOL, this holiday is the winter solstice and longest night of the year.  Celebrated in late December in the northern hemisphere and late June in the southern hemisphere, it's the official heralding of winter in the farming calendar and midwinter to pagans and laypeople everywhere.

The Wiccan community sees this time as when the God is reborn after dying at the harvest.  Other pagan traditions view it as the rebirth of the sun or the astronomical turning point from the dark half of the year to the light half at Litha. Days afterwards will begin to lengthen, though it may not be noticeable until Imbolc.  The Holly and the Oak kings battle, and Holly lays down his crown so Oak can pick up his until Litha comes and they battle again.

Festivals and holidays are common in places where the axial tilt of the planet effects the seasons, and the further towards the poles you go, the more important they seem to be.  Maybe this is due to the fact that the further to the poles you go, the cold is harsher and the sunlight sparse, and humans don't do well without some vitamin D e

From here:

>As of September 2018, Paul Manafort, who served at one time as President Trump's campaign chairman, has been found guilty on eight counts of tax and bank fraud. In a separate trial, he will be prosecuted for money laundering. The money laundering charges have to do with a scheme that follows a tried and true method for rinsing the dirt off your treasure. Manafort is alleged to have garnered millions from the former Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych. Rather than declare these earnings to the IRS and turn over the taxes due, Manafort is said to have placed them in offshore accounts and then used them to buy expensive real estate in the U.S.

Like the SGI's purchase of this 20 bedroom luxury mansion in North Tustin, CA. Purchasing decision controlled by and deed held by the Japan Soka Gakkai mother ship, of course.

>Once he owned the properties, prosecutors say he then used them as collateral to take out millions of dollars in loans from U.S. banks. Since the money was in the form of loans rather than income, he wasn't obliged to pay taxes on it. The old real estate bait-and-switch is a classic mode of cleaning up cash. Money laundering is an ancient felonious practice and Manafort is hardly the first political figure to get himself mixed up in it.

>Money laundering is a ubiquitous practice. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime reckons that somewhere between $800 billion and $2 trillion goes through the rinse cycle every year [source: The Economist]. That's in the neighborhood of 2 to 5 percent of the entire planet's GDP! The rise of global financial markets makes money laundering easier than ever— countries with bank-secrecy laws are directly connected to countries with bank-reporting laws, making it possible to anonymously deposit "dirty" money in one country and then have it transferred to any other country for use.

Hence the value of having a presence in "192 countries and territories worldwide", countries which of course WON'T be identified. To establish that presence, all the Soka Gakkai needs to do is purchase a building and then ship over a few salaried Soka Gakkai faithful to run it. THEN they have full resident access to all that country's banking.

>*It seems that the existence of Soka Gakkai members overseas came

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I remember thinking about this decades ago as a teen forced to sit still through Yet Another Lecture from our besainted, magestically narcissistic, poseur pastor reminding us that "Freedom of religion is not freedom from religion."

So when I blew out the last of my unfortunate, early life conditioning, in-doctrine-ation, instruction, imprinting, socialization, habituation and normalization a few years ago, and began to read a bit more about the history of Modern Pentecostalism, I quickly dug into books like...

Beder, S.: Selling the Work Ethic: From Puritan Pulpit to Corporate PR; London: Zed Books, 2001;

Carpenter, J.: Revive Us Again: The Reawakening of American Fundamentalism; New York: Oxford U. Press, 1997;

Goldfield, D.: America Aflame: How the Civil War Created a Nation, New York: Bloomsbury Press, 2012;

Goldfield, D.: Still Fighting the Civil War: The American South and Southern History, Baton Rouge: Louisiana State U. Press, 2013;

Gorski, P.: American Covenant: A History of Civil Religion from the Puritans to the Present, 2nd Ed., Princeton, NJ: Princeton U. Press, 2019;

Heyrman, C.: Southern Cross; New York: Knopf, 1997;

Meinig, D.: The Shaping of America: A Geographical Perspective on 500 Years of History: Vol. 3: Transcontinental America, 1850-1915; New Haven CT: Yale U. Press, 1998;

Meinig, D.: The Shaping of America: A Geographical Perspective on 500 Years of History: Volume 4: Global America, 1915–2000; New Haven CT: Yale U. Press, 2006;

Miller, R.; Stout, H.; Wilson, C.: Religion and the American Civil War; New York: Oxford U. Press, 1998;

Moore, B.: Moral Purity and Persecution in History, Princeton, NJ: Princeton U. Press, 2000;

Noll, M.: The Old Religion in a New World; Grand Rapids MI: Eerdmans, 2002;

Sargant, W.: Battle for the Mind: A Physiology of Conversion and Brain Washing; orig. pub. 1957, Cambridge, MA: Malor Books, 1997;

Smith, A.: Chosen Peoples: Sacred Sources of National Identity; New York: Oxford U. Press, 2002;

Stark, R.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

I have to say I thought about this -- and how to approach it here -- for several days before deciding to post it. But here we go:

I spent a good three or four hours in multiple conversations with a now deceased, college educated and culturally enlightened African American male who was a former member of Elijah Muhammad's (and later, Louis Farrakhan's) Nation of Islam, a pretty good-sized (est. membership: 50,000) cult based in Chicago, IL, with branches in many places including most of America's state prison systems.

I came away firmly convinced that while he had been conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, imprinted, socialized, habituated, and normalized to believe a number of things that are NOT true, he was 100% right in the following (directly from EM, as well as Malcom X):

African-Americans were subjected to "the white man's religions" (mostly Methodism and Baptism, but more recently Pentecostalism) to make them blind, deaf, dumb, docile, easily controlled and utterly unable to see, hear or sense what is vs. what they have been told in an isolated -- and isolating -- environment of Groupthink, Social Proof & Unquestioning Acceptance of Authority.

And that -- again according to EM and MX -- that conditioning (etc.) is the foundation of so many African-Americans' inability to function effectively and appropriately in the world. Paraphrasing: "The white man took millions of Africans out of a relatively moral and functional culture... and destroyed their ability to use their eyes to see, their ears to hear and their minds to operate effectively in a strange new world obsessed with productivity and profit."

And now, Louis Farrakhan is telling the members of NoI to take courses offered by the Church of Scientology to rectify their common cultural incapacities.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

This post is a follow-up to this earlier post on COTH origins: https://www.reddit.com/r/AllaboutCOTH/comments/qnhbum/triple_h_hodges_haggard_hornsby/

Chris Hodges was born in 1964 in Baton Rouge. As his father was a Southern Baptist church organist, Hodges claims he never missed a Sunday and "walked the aisle" at 7 years old. Hodges says that he was an average student and athlete, but learned to play classical piano and often performed at church. Hodges says it was from his father that he "learned excellence" and "how to do church."

When he was in seventh grade, Hodges moved to a new school. He was placed in the eighth grade PE class, where he says he was bullied relentlessly. On one occasion, Hodges says that bullies tied him to a chain-link fence using their jackets and left him there. “Coach came out and saw me and paddled me. I got in trouble for something that had been done to me and I got really bitter,” he says. In response, he “sort of went crazy as a prankster...[W]hen I came to Christ, I had just gotten in trouble with the law for egging someone’s house.”

Hodges says he was 15 when he was saved, circa 1979.

Hodges says that he was saved after he attended a youth event at the Bethany World Prayer Center, a Pentecostal church, at a friend's invitation. Precious little is known about the event itself. It was held somewhere called "Liberty Alley." Hodges doesn’t say who invited him or why he went, or who organized, spoke or preached at the event, or even what the message was about beyond the admonition that, in Jesus's words, "Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven." Hodges claims he didn’t accept the invitation for salvation at the event, but “brought [him]self to Christ” in his bedroom following the event, having realized that Christianity was about "relationship" and not "religion."

The lack of detail around the actual salvation event feels a little like the Seinfeld "yada yada yada" episode, coming as it does from a mega-church pastor and self-proclaimed "apostle" who embraces charismatic beliefs and practices and doesn't shy away from autobiographical stories in his preaching. Indeed, Hodges has razor-sharp recollection of events a couple of weeks after he was saved, when he says he brought his three best friends (he gives their full names) to Christ in a motel room during a school choir trip. One friend,

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Calcium, nickel, neon

Put it on my bill

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Considerably revised and enhanced in November, 2021, including the addition of a list if supporting references and resources.

Doesn't pretty much everyone you've ever met who's involved in Modern Pentecostalism, the WS/JWs and the Southern Baptist Convention do the Fideistic drill?

Groupthink,

Social Proof, and

Implicit Social Contract, which are the interpersonal binding mechanisms of...

Confirmation Bias, providing for the...

conditioning, in-doctrine-ation, instruction, imprinting, socialization, habituation and normalization of...

unquestioning acceptance of AUTHORITY from the pulpit and The Sacred Book.

References & Resources

Abgrall, J-M.: Soul Snatchers: The Mechanics of Cults, New York: Algorra, 2000.

Altemeyer, R.: The Authoritarian Specter, Boston: Harvard University Press, 1996.

Arendt, H.: The Origins of Totalitarianism, (orig. pub. 1951) New York: Harcourt, Brace, Jovanovich, 1973.

Arterburn, S.; Felton, J.: Toxic Faith: Understanding and Overcoming Religious Addiction, Nashville: Oliver-Nelson, 1991.

Atack, J.: Opening Minds: The Secret World of Manipulation, Undue Influence and Brainwashing, Colchester,

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.