We ordered some mail-order chickens a few months ago. Today, one of my housemates said it's looking like one of them is turning out to be a rooster.

I'm like, "Well see, we shoulda gotten female-order chickens instead, that's our problem right there. We're lucky the rest didn't turn out to be roosters too!"

This was an honest-to-god real conversation I just had with my housemate earlier tonight. :)

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📅︎ Sep 02 2020
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An old couple sat on their porch in the morning after they let the chickens out of the coupe. They wanted to count how many hens the rooster fucked. The wife was counting one, two, three, four, five, six! Six times she proclaimed!

He responds, “Yeah with a different chick each time!”

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📅︎ Jan 29 2020
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Which came first

I don't know if it's been done before but it's my favorite.

Which came first the chicken or the egg...

[Regardless of answer]

Not according to the rooster.

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📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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I ordered a Chicken and an Egg from Amazon

I'll let you know

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📅︎ May 07 2019
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Hentie
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📅︎ Nov 09 2018
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I got a rooster on 2018's Valentine's day.

Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.

We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?

So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.

I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)

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📅︎ Feb 18 2019
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Far Side Comic Idea

A rooster dressed in Native American war garb, giving a fierce look to the viewer. Has a bowl haircut. All around lay the dead bodies of similarly-coiffed roosters, slain in battle.

Caption: The Last of the Moe-Chickens

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👤︎ u/tkizzy
📅︎ Jan 24 2019
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Dad decided to spring this one on me during work

I'm making dinner tonight, so I asked him "Do we have anything that will go with the chicken?"

His response: "Don't have any roosters."

Pretty cute.

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📅︎ Mar 11 2014
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