Chef Dad Puns

..play by the Rouxs.

The scolapasta

So I ask him for cooking tips.

"Dad, how many eggs do you put in an omelette?"

"Depends if you want a 2, 3, 4, or 5 egg omelette"

I laughed...

Ramsay: So how can you screw up fish & chips?

Chef: It was not communicated right, chef.

Ramsy: Oh you didn't talk to the fish enough?

People tell me they don't like Swiss cheese because of the holes. I tell them it's okay, just eat around them.

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast🙏🏻❤️

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

They were actually cooked in Greece

So I just met a master jokester. The setting:

I came out of work across the parking lot and a car comes at me. So I cross and I hear him go, 'youre walking too fast for this place' it's a 55+ community. So I walk over to talk to him and he goes 'what are you doin here your awfully young to be here'

me: yeaah, I'm 10 years to young. I'm the new chef for your clubhouse'

Him: 'youll be cooking for old men'

Me: 'its a challenge'

Him: 'well I don't want to keep you

Me: 'im just picking my dad up from physical therapy'

Him deadpan, 'well you might not want to do that'

Me: why?!

Him dead serious: well, because he's got to be heavy

Me: ... I can't believe I just got grandpop joked

Him: you better believe it

A family walks into a Chinese restaurant and everyone orders traditional Chinese food except Dad.

He has to have a steak, medium rare with rice.

After everone finishes, the waiter asks if everyone enjoyed the meal, everyone agrees that it was lovely but Dad says nothing

The waiter turns to Dad and asks "did you enjoy your meal sir?"

Dad replies" it was okay but the steak was rubbery"

The Chinese waiter beams with a smile from ear to ear and says "thank you so much, I'll tell the chef"

so the events manager was coordinating with the head chef at my job (i work at a hotel).

they were discussing the three types of fish they currently had in stock and people's receptions. the general consensus regarding the first was positive. they moved on to the second which also received rave reviews. they left out discussion of the third. from my chair about 20 yards away i proclaim;

"i guess the third is a whole other fish to fry!"

audible groan from everyone in the office. success.

my dad would be proud.

My Pops passed away about a year ago, and one of my best memories was him saying his favorite "dad joke". I would always ask him to make me something because he was a chef.

ME: Pops can you make me a steak?

POPS: Yeah sure, poof (as he flicks his fingers at me) you're a steak. Ahh! good times.

My Brother: What is Mongolian Beef? Dad: An argument between the chef and the waiter.

I sat down to watch TV with my parents and they decided to play Master Chef. I'm familiar with the show, but haven't seen any of this season. I'm sitting there, complimenting the fantastic weight loss of Graham, one of the judges, when my dad goes:

"Yeah, you know, last year he was going by the name kiloGraham, but now he just goes by Graham!"

I laughed, my mom groaned, and the cleverness of the joke, (which is far from usual), was enjoyed by all. :)

Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.

Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.

Groans.

It won't be long now.

Ted Allen said this dad joke on Chopped and this older cowboy chef knew the punchline. He must have kids.

I was looking forward to all the dad jokes at Benihana last night, and I was not disappointed! (Also, epic onion volcano!)

• Our chef says "Who wants egg roll?" and then rolls an egg across the cooking surface.

• When the chef added butter to the cooking vegetables, he threw his bowl of butter into the air a couple times and said "Look! Butterfly!"

• While prepping the shrimp, he put all the tails on his spatula and asked the 6-year-old at the table "You ordered just tail, right?"

• He put one sesame seed on his spatula, showed it to the 6-year-old and said "Japanese diet!"

• Our chef checks with everyone who ordered steak to see how they want it cooked, then says to the people who ordered chicken "For chicken, everyone want rare?" and then he laughed when one of the girls at the table got really confused.

I'm sure there were more that I can't remember once the sake kicked in.

We're all gathered around the table, eating delicious roast.

Mom: "Honey, you should have been a chef."

Dad: "Why? So you can put books on me?"

Mom and I: Confused expressions

Dad: "You know, a bookchef."

"What did the fish say after the chef chopped off it's tail?"

"What dad?"

"He said, Call a Sturgeon! "

"Heh"

"Oh come on, you can laugh at least for the halibut"