Charles Sarkis Puns

Went through and made a name list of my HS graduating class. Large school in a relatively diverse area. Ordered by number of repeats.

8: Michael

7: Daniel, David

6: Nicholas

5: Emily; Matthew

4: Allison, Jessica, Megan, Rebecca; Benjamin, Gregory, Justin, Mohamed, Samuel, Steven

3: Anna, Ashley, Caitlin, Caroline, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Karla, Maria, Mary, Michelle, Sara, Sophia, Stephanie; Alexander, Andrew, Christopher, Douglas, Jack, Joseph, Joshua, Kevin, Ryan, Tyler

2: Abigail, Alexandra, Danielle, Diana, Ellen, Emma, Faith, Grace, Haley, Kaitlyn, Katherine, Kayla, Kimberly, Kristin, Laura, Melissa, Samantha, Sydney, Vanessa, Veronica, Yasamin; Adam, Anthony, Austin, Brendan, Clayton, Derek, Husam, Ian, Javier, Joel, Jonathan, Juan, Luis, Marcus, Mark, Paul, Richard, Scott, Stephen

1: Adele, Ainsley, Alana, Alexa, Alicia, Allie, Allyson, Alyssa, Amanda, Amelia, Amy, Ana, Angelica, Ann, Annabelle, Antonia, Asmar, Aubrey, Aysha, Aziza, Barbara, Bianca, Bre’ana, Breanna, Brianna, Brieshauna, Brooke, Caitlyn, Candace, Cara, Carly, Casey, Celia, Charindri, Chauncey, Chauntell, Chiara, Chynna, Claire, Clara, Colette, Cydnee, Cynthia, Debra, Deneck, Donia, Dylan, Elbetel, Eleanor, Eman, Erin, Ernestine, Estefani, Faye, Frances, Gabriella, Gargie, Georgia, Gjayland, Hanna, Hannah, Hazel, Irene, Isabela, Jade, Jasmine, Jaqueline, Jeena, Jenna, Jennifer, Joanna, Jossy, Jule, Julia, Julie, Kacey, Karolina, Katelyn, Katrina, Kelly, Kerry, Kirsten, Kristianne, Lania, Lauren, Liliana, Lindsey, Lucia, Lucile, Lydia, Mackenzie, Madeleine, Madeline, Madisen, Mahrukh, Margaret, Marika, Marita, Mariyah, Marly, Maya, Mayra, Medelyn, Melanie, Michae, Molika, Monica, Morgan, Myesha, Naimo, Natalie, Neena, Nicole, Olivia, Paige, Phi Khanh, Rabab, Rachael, Rachel, Ramia, Randie, Raynitra, Rida, Sachi, Samyukta, Sanjna, Sarah, Sasahulesh, Seema, Sharan, Sharanjit, Skye, Smar, Sofia, Sophie, Srijoni, Sumaiya, Tanya, Tasha, Taylor, Teema, Temitope, Tobechukwu, Vicky, Viviana, Wendy, Yara, Yatian, Yessica; Aaron, Aeron, Ahmed, Akram, Alan, Allen, Antonio, Arnim, Axel, Ayrton, Bernardo, Brandon, Brent, Brian, Caed, Cally, Calvin, Carlos, Carter, Charles, Chris, Christian, Colby, Cole, Collin, Conor, Cori, Cory, Curtis, Dante, Dava’dre, Deantre, Diego, Dominic, Edward, Elefterios, Elwood, Emanuel, Emmanuel, Eric, Erick, Ethan, Eugenio, Fedor, Felix, Francisco, Gabriel, George, Giampierre, Gustavo, Hank, Haziel, Henry, Huber, Idriss, Ivan, Jac

(Here is the pitch copy and pasted)

Doctor Who Revival Pitch by Russell T Davies

Transcribed by Richard D. Carrier of Clever Dick Films

A girl meets an alien, and together they travel the universe. Forging a friendship across time and space…

THE DOCTOR

Your best friend. Someone you want to be with, all the time. He’s wise and funny, fast and sarky, cheeky and brave. And considering he’s an alien, he’s more human than the best human you can imagine. So full of compassion, his heart could burst, and his head’s jam-packed with science and art and history… He should also be sexy. Not necessarily young, but let’s move on from that neutered, posh, public-school, fancy-dress-frock-coat image. He’s immediate and tactile. Stand too close to him, you could get burnt. The Doctor is lacking one thing. Family. He’s a loner. Sometimes, this distance gives him a vital edge – when the world’s in danger, he doesn’t waste time saving the bloody cat – but sometimes, when he looks at humans, and their mums and dads and lovers and mates, it’s like he knows nothing. And this is why he needs…

ROSE TYLER

She’s 18. Left school at 16, works in a shop, goes out with a lad called Mobbsy, and lives with her mum, Judy. Rose’s father died when she was a baby (and more of that later…) so Judy’s like more of a mate – not at all mumsy, she’s only 40, and slim, and often too busy chasing another hopeless fella to pay Rose enough attention. Rose is idling. Life is dull. And she’s so much better than this – she’s always planning to go back to school, sit those A-Levels, become a paramedic, a cartoonist, a plumber, anything… Ordinary dreams, just going to waste. But she’s always been feisty and funny, and she’s going to need that sense of humour to survive, as soon as she meets the Doctor.

THE DOCTOR AND ROSE

She loves him, and he loves her. Simple as that. Not a kissy-kissy kind of love, this is deeper. From the moment they meet, the Doctor and Rose are soulmates. They need each other and complete each other – he’s got a mind full of time and space, she’s entirely down to earth. A perfect match. As they travel together, the Doctor’s going to show her things beyond her imagination. And we’re going to see her grow. She’ll start out as Innocent, then become an Adventurer, until, by the end of the series… she can never go home again. And her friendship pushes the Doctor into unexplored territory. How alien is he? How much does he care? If this man refuses to go back and save the cat… wil

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.

But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Amy

Put it on my bill