Caucasus Online Puns

I recently learned that the old version of 1942 had no factory on caucasus. From discussions and thinking about the game a lot, I've concluded that this is a better setup since the factory there heavily skews the game towards a German conquer of Moscow by around the 5th turn (probably in 70% or so of cases).

I'm wondering if playing without this factory would be a good idea, especially since the Germans already received unit buffs in other places. Thoughts?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Your 10-minute Monday briefing in 2656 words.

##Pashinyan cabinet discussed plans to implement universal healthcare in Armenia

For context read this. Around 61% of Armenians support the idea. 73% are ready to pay 2-6% of their paycheck for UHC. The exact amount of deductions is yet to be determined.

On Monday Pashinyan and ministers discussed the progress towards UHC.

Healthcare Ministry: We examined various models. We need a sustainable financing system that will provide the main healthcare services to all groups.

The package is still being discussed in various agencies. When it's done, a bill will be drafted and submitted. Here is what's being discussed:

• Financial sources

• Cost-effectiveness

• Recipient groups

• Quality of services

• Ensuring social solidarity & justice

• Risks

For UHC to be successful, we need to simultaneously develop the infrastructure, e-healthcare, and strengthen the capacity of primary care facilities. //

Pashinyan: UHC will be an important reform. The primary goal should be disease prevention. Therefore, it's necessary to adopt a model that will ensure quality and cost-effective services. Consult and make the necessary amendments and submit the proposal for final discussion. //

https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1072597.html

##public sector workers can now use their "social package" for dental care

Additionally, the package covers more family members. The government adopted the changes last month. Details in November 2 post.

https://www.panarmenian.net/arm/news/297741/

##war on smoking

Starting January 1, shops aren't allowed to publicly display cigarettes. In a few months, there will be a ban on smoking in public areas [cafés and restaurants]. But there are also tax hikes.

Excise taxes on cigarettes are increasing from $22 to $27 per 1000 units. Despite the hike, cigarettes remain significantly cheaper in Armenia than in Europe.

A similar excise hike went into effect for alcohol.

www.1lurer.am/hy/2022/01/10/Հարկերի-փոփոխությունից-ո՞ւմ-աշխատավարձը-կավելանա/639980

##facilities at National Center for Infectious Diseases will be renovated with modern standards

Healthcare Ministry: As part of the government

This is your 9-minute Wednesday digest in 2273 words.

##Armenia and Georgia sign cooperation memorandum around "mobile justice houses" and other reforms

One of the much spoken about reforms in modern Georgian history was the introduction of so-called mobile houses of justice. It's an all-in-one place to help residents complete paperwork without much bureaucracy. Armenia has done something similar but it's not as comprehensive, say the experts.

Justice Minister Andreasyan met his Georgian counterpart Bregadze on Wednesday and signed a cooperation memorandum.

Minister Andreasyan: We recently met in Italy and spoke about the ongoing important reforms in Armenia. We also discussed the unified offices (one window) where Armenian citizens visit to receive public services. Georgia's experience is important because we have only recently begun the formation of justice houses in Armenia. Thanks for sharing your expertise. //

Minister Bregadze: Thanks for hosting us. Our relations have never been better and warmer, thanks to the premiers of Georgia and Armenia. Looking forward to working with you. //

Armenian and Georgian lawyers will hold a conference in February. The countries will also cooperate to protect each other from document forgery and will exchange students and prison inmates.

https://armenpress.am/arm/news/1074021.html http://yazidis.info/en/news/2636/mobile-justice-houses-to-appear-in-georgias-regions

##November 10, 2020 rioters charged with blocking international flight in Zvartnots after rumors that "officials are fleeing"

NSS report: the investigation continues around the Nov 10, 2020 mass riots in government, parliament, and other buildings.

Narek Mantashyan, the president of Aylentrank (Alternative) NGO, being present at the riot scene in the government building, decided to expand the geographic area of the riots.

He circulated false claims about officials "attempting to flee the country" and urged the rioters to close the road connecting to the airport and to commit acts of violence against officials.

He directed rioters to specific locations and went to the airport himself to coordinate the efforts.

As a result, several government building rioters, including another defendant G.G., immediately left for the airport, where they destroyed property and intruded the hall where special delegations depart and arrive. From there, they broke a fence and entered the runway.

They ignored t

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

No matter if you are "Pro-regime", "Anti-Regime" or just Pro-Iran like me, we all know that Iran has problems, and that not everyone is happy.

Some of these problems have clear foreign factors: economy (major factor here are unjust foreign sanctions)

About these factors we cannot do much. I have no doubt that the government is as interested as everyone else living and suffering in Iran, to improve the economy. Treaties with China, Caucasus, SCO membership and so on are good tries to improve the economy under strangling sanctions. A good economy would also solve many other issues. For example problems Iran faces due to climate change, of just the climate: droughts, floods, ... With money you find solutions, but anyway also those solutions need time.

I give you some background about me:

Ideally I would like Iran to be a secular democratic state, respecting rights of everyone, which makes me against the current system. On the other hand I see the biggest threat for Iran, that Iran falls into chaos and foreign powers use the chance to weaken, split and destroy Iran. I have studied science to Phd level and my job is to solve big problems all the time. Problems that sometimes seem impossible to solve. At the end my team and I solve them anyway. The way we solve problems is by determining the real problem (this is at the end often just a part of the orignially perceived problem), and break this problem down in sub problems and then solve the subproblems.

Now for Iran I want to determine the real problem and define the sub problems that can be solved. I need however help to do that, from domain experts (No not real experts, but people who can formulate the real problems). I need your help.

I am also not the one who can fix the problems, a successful result of this discussion would be to find sub problems that are problems impacting "Anti-Regime" people, but are also ones that "Pro-Regime" folks are willing to solve. You will also see that I am pragmatic (would not be able to do my daily job otherwise), as this is the only way to solve stalemate situations. Pragmatic means I want to eleminate all non actionable problems first. We should not discuss them because those are parts of the problem that cannot be solved, because there will be no compromise and also they have less impact on people's lives than you would initially think.

My work experience has shown me that people misunderstand problems and make them so big that they can only give up as a result.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments