Catholic Health Partners Puns

I've been lurking around here lately and looking at your posts got me thinking about my own experience in the Catholic Church.

We can see that being catholic did a lot of harm to many of us. Feelings of shame and guilt, sexually repressed lives, irrational fears. So I was pondering what caused most damage for me and came to the conclusion that it was all of the self loathing I was taught to do throughout my life.

In church, the idea that we are unworthy sinners is pounded into our minds to hard that it can be difficult to realize that we are actually worth something. I don't know about you, but I often find myself saying belittling things about myself, my feelings, and even my sincere good actions.

Life can be a really dark place when you really learn that nothing good can come from the heart of a man and that all that is good comes from god.

How about you? Do you also struggle with your own sense of self-worth? I got a lot better after therapy, but I still gotta be really mindful not to be too harsh on myself.

Hey all,

My partner is catholic and I'm sad to say it's become a problem. I can't get over how he still stands by an institution that has committed so many atrocities, namely the recent rash of finding Indigenous children being buried in mass graves. I try to share my trauma that I've experienced at the hands of the catholic church and all he says is "oh, you must have went to a weird church", but the church I went to, the retreats I went to where I experience abuse were parts of a larger catholic networks. I was forced to go to retreats with the word "catholic" in the name, forced to confess about normal hormonal things at a young age to old crusty dudes in robes, was sleep deprived... etc. I have tried really hard to not let this bother me, to not be mean and make fun of him when he says some weird catholic stuff, and I do not make fun or anything. But I just can't get over how someone can stand by an institution and its beliefs when it has committed so much abuse and hurt so many people. The issue is that he's the only catholic person I've ever met who didn't have a bad experience with the church. His childhood priest is apparently very progressive and would often express that he didn't know if god existed or not but he wanted to live his life by the church. I feel like he's gaslighting me by saying I went to a weird church and that things are changing (even though just last year the vatican held fast on not recognizing adoption for LGBTQ+ individuals). He says he doesn't stand by the institution but talks about catholic theories and stuff which I personally believe are moot because of how the power of the church has been wielded for abuse.

I guess I'm just posting here to vent and to also see if anyone has been in similar situations. Are there any atheists in here who have catholic partners? How do you deal?

Hi everyone, for clarification, I'm an agnostic but non judgemental about others beliefs. Ive been seeing someone for the past 8 months who just broke up with me a few days ago. He told me he has continually felt distant from God since he left the seminary nearly 2 years ago. For a quick context explanation..he's tried going on dates and has hooked up after he left the path of becoming a priest because he figured, well, time for the pendulum to swing more so the other way (his metaphor). And I've been his first real boyfriend, and first love. He was raised orthodox Catholic and has taken it seriously (if his nearly becoming a priest is any indication of that, Id say so), and so there's always been that tension since the start of our relationship in his mind.

Since the church teaches to be gay is a disorder, and because he has studied the teachings extensively in school, as well as having them taught to him from an early age (for more context..he has a positive relationship with his family/parents), I don't doubt it's pretty compelling for him that what the Catholic Church says is the word of God, and there's no real way around it (again, in his eyes).

We tried not having sex for a while, but he had too much difficulty not having sex whilst still being physically affectionate with me, but I was very willing to sacrifice that for him, as I love him very much. He does not believe the other denominations are correct or compelling, because of the rich theological tradition of how the Orthodox Catholic theologians have interpreted the text so well over the years.

And so..I'm at a loss, I'm not certain I can just let go of such a powerful love, just like that, my beliefs stem mostly from psychological examination and accrued life wisdom, and I truly respect other's seeking refuge and safety within traditional structures of belief, although the only thing stopping us from being together (at least, technically), is the fact that the church teaches that we as gay folks are disordered.. I tried explaining my point of view but he was resolute.. he believes it's the right path, and I can't help but see it from the psychological lens: no wonder he is so devout, when you have a loving family which has treated you with love and care and you have no real problems with your mother and father who've introduced it to you since a very young age, there would need to be some other happening to have you challenge them, and possibly what they teach you (in this case, his fait

Its not even a private school, wtf is going on?

On the topic of “condom sex vs. no condom sex”, I’ve read from a lot of posts on this subreddit that many guys experience severe loss of sensation when wearing a condom, causing some to even opt for no sex rather when faced with condom sex.

This is a very valid concern, and I understand why this would be frustrating, considering that sex is supposed to be a fun, pleasurable activity for everyone involved. As a woman, I would want to try my best to hear my partner out and figure out a solution that works for both of us if he is not having fun during sex.

That said, something really bothered me when reading these posts (there have been several that cover this topic on Reddit lately). A lot of male commenters who dislike condom sex said they would “highly encourage” their female partners to go on birth control so condoms wouldn’t be necessary.

I have several questions about this mindset. Do guys who “highly encourage” their female partners to go on birth control first have a conversation with her about her comfortability with that decision? Is there any thought given to how this might effect their partner’s health?

If you scroll through the posts on r/birthcontrol, there is a lot of evidence of women experiencing major side effects such as weight gain, hormone imbalance, low libido, and severe acne. Not to mention the risk of blood clots as well.

I bring up this perspective because from the posts I’ve seen about “condom vs. no condom” on r/sex, not many men seem to give a lot of thought toward how birth control might negatively affect their partner. If I were in a relationship, I’d want my male partner to have my best interests in mind, while I would do the same to have his best interests in mind.

Some women find that they love their method of birth control. In that case, that’s great. But I feel like no matter the woman’s stance on birth control, it should always be a discussion that happens between both partners with everyone’s best interests in mind.

This year, I added my SO to my employer’s health insurance policy (he’s a student and I have better coverage). We just received our coverage details and benefits cards in the mail and they are all addressed to “His Full Name and Family”. One letter discusses how he should go about getting COBRA coverage if he loses his job at my company that he does not work at.

It’s ridiculous that this is still the norm. It’s my insurance policy, through my employer, that I pay for…and yet I’ve been reduced to “and Family” in the address line.

https://www.safestaffingbuffalo.org/
Petition - https://actionnetwork.org/petitions/campaign-for-patient-safety-at-catholic-health/

How to support - https://www.safestaffingbuffalo.org/support-strike

>Donations
>
>We are currently accepting donations by check or cash delivered to the CWA Local 1133 office:
>
>821 Elk St
Buffalo, NY 14210
>
>Donations will be put towards necessities for workers on strike, food for the picket line, picket line supplies. 
>
>We're also happy to accept gift card donations!
>
>Stop by the Picket Line
>
>Come by the picket line to say hi and let our members know that you stand with us! Food and water for the picket line is very welcome.
>
>If you're driving by, give us a honk to show your support!
>
>Join the Picket Line
>
>Walk with us and show Catholic Health how strong our community is! You can join for a few minutes or a few hours - any time you can spend on the line with us is a huge help. 
>
>Help Us Spread the Word
>
>Follow our social media accounts:
>
>Facebook: @CHSWorkersUnited
>
>Facebook: @CWADistrict1
>
>Twitter: @CWADistrict1

Why they are on strike -
https://www.safestaffingbuffalo.org/catholic-health-workers-united/catholic-health-campaign-summary

> 1. CWA Workers Are Putting Patients First, Fighting for Safe Staffing Levels to Ensure Quality Care
>
> 2. Workers are Fighting Catholic Health Proposals to Slash Pay; In addition, Hundreds of Workers Make $15 an Hour or Less
>
> 3. Catholic Health Has Proposed to Slash Retirement Benefits and Impose Massive Increases in the Cost of Health Care
>
> 4. Catholic Health Workers are Fighting for a Master Contract and Common Expiration Date at all 3 CWA-Represented Hospitals to Unite and Protect Workers in this Crisis.

SO my mom has worked at a Catholic school for over 10 years, it’s generally a horrible situation and they treat her like absolute shit. They treat all of their teachers like absolute shit, pay is horrible, parents are horrible, they’ve had four new principals in a YEAR and the regional director (the biggest jackass) said “I don’t know what we’ll do with you all if this principal doesn’t work out” when they hired the most recent principal. As if it was their fault.

Anyways. With the recent covid surges and minimal safety practices in place at the school (they literally never shut down last year. Just had the teachers be exposed. And the parents protested masks for the kids this year. Luckily they did decide to require masks but there’s minimal enforcement from higher ups), myself being higher risk and my dad being high risk, my mom asked to take a leave. She used a week of sick days and last year was able to take a brief leave based on my dad’s doctor note. This year, she used 5 sick days and as the cases continue to spiral out of control, she decided to stay out another week. She has been working almost full time prepping lesson plans that the sub didn’t use, answering kids’ emails, etc.

The regional director just called her and said if she wants to take any more time, it’ll be a personal leave and she will have a salary freeze and they will rescind her health insurance. We are all triple vaccinated, but the status of healthcare right now is no secret.

So now she has to choose between risking her and my dad’s life to keep her health insurance, or not having coverage during the worst surge of the pandemic yet. Good old Catholic workplace generosity 🙃

What we are currently witnessing is not without precedent, it has happened before, although never to so wide a degree.

Probably the best example I can come up with is that of the Roman Catholic Church when revellations first started coming out about the abuse that this supposedly religious orginization subjected children to. For many it was simply too horrific to believe, this institution which people had supported their entire lives....financially supported, supported by attending faithfully every week, an istitution which professed love, kindness and chairty.....there was simply no way it could have been engaged in something horribly evil, and then covering it up.

Sinead O'Connor famously went on Saturday Night Live and, after singing a re-worded version of Bob Marley's anthem "War" injecting lyrics about the abuse that had and was still taking place within the Roman Church....she then produced a picture of the Pope and tore it up saying "Fight the real enemy". She was slaughtered for speaking out. A short time later she was performing at a benefit concert at NYC's Maddison Square Garden and the mob rained boos on her relentlessly.

Don't dare destroy the mob's sacred cows or they'll crucify you.

And now the scared cow is public health officials. They can do no wrong, anything they say must be believed with unwavering faith and total trust. Anyone who counters their messaging, no matter how qualifed and esteemed is a heretic to the faith.

I could list off a litany of lies they have foisted on the population, but it doesn't matter. The same as it didn't matter how much evidence came out about Catholic priests diddling little boys.....some will never let go of their fantasy notion that public health officials are acting in the best interests of public health.

We just need to shut down for a short time, two weeks to flatten the curve....it's not to save lives so much as to protect our hospitals from being crushed all at once. Suck air though a pourous piece of cloth, that will help....we just need everyone to get injected. Now we just need everyone to take another dose of the juice that didn't work the first two times.

It's a hampster wheel....but just like Roman Catholic churches still fill up on Sunday mornings, people still are willing to put all their faith hope and blind trust in the very people who have been wrong about everything from the start.....while ignoring and heaping scorn on those who were right.

Here's what happened

Post from the heart, I’m asking for help in acceptance, not to be told I’m wrong or right.

I don’t like to admit it, and I never verbalise it or share this opinion with anyone, but secretly I judge anyone that is religious or spiritual.

I don’t mean to, I don’t want to, but I basically end at the thought of: “you’re literally insane if you believe in a magical friend in the sky”.

My partner of several years, has always been quite anti religion and firmly stated they are not religious, but at some level I’ve always suspected that they are. Recently, they finally admitted this to me/themselves and told me they’re Catholic.

I come from a Catholic upbringing, and I have a lot of strong feelings about this faith, but this is not the foundation of my atheism.

I’m trying my hardest to accept this about my partner and to respect their beliefs, but if I’m being truly honest I think had they been open about this at the beginning stages of our relationship, as much as I love them, I probably would not have proceeded.

For me, religion and spirituality, or lack thereof are core values as a person and in a relationship. We are planning children together and for me this new development has thrown me into some uncertainty.

I want to be more accepting, I do, but I just can’t seem to shake my inner most opinions on this.

He flies Thursday night (Jan 6). We're getting mixed signals online whether or not they check this. Our friends who traveled with pets say they've never been asked. Forums and reddit seem to suggest not asking for this is the norm but we also have seen all documentation online say you should have this. We don't want to mess up his move or have the cat abandoned or denied entry. He plans to get the airport 5 hours ahead bc of covid and bc he's taking the move very seriously but not much can be done if you can't get a vet appointment. Its New Year's so he's waiting for tomorrow to keep calling but he's feeling very hopeless of getting a vet appointment for her in the next week, especially since he has to ship his car Wednesday. Any advice or reassurances?

We would have gotten this well in advance of booking if we knew but we checked the JetBlue website and it's buried in their pet policies that we needed this and was not in the pet reservation window at all. I only knew about this because I saw a social media post of someone who didn't have a pet reservation and then was asked for all the cat's records.

Edit: There are many great suggestions in this thread, thank you to everyone for being so helpful!

Okay. So. I recently lost my father (cut him off for being abusive towards me), my childhood cat of 17 years recently had to be put down, and it’s coming up to be Christmas season; which is always a hard time for me. And he knows this. Usually, he is super supportive and sweet of my emotions, and vice versa; I would do anything for him. But last night, after he said we would call after I got off of work, he retracted on his statement and didn’t want to call anymore. That was understandable though I was upset, and told him that if he changes his mind, I’m open to call because I miss him and I’m going to be busy for the next few days. He got frustrated with me and told me I always make a ‘thing’ out of him wanting to be alone and I’m ‘being all dramatic’, and that I ‘make him feel bad’ for simply expressing my missing of him. He told me I have to shape up fast, fix my behavior because he’s ‘so tired of helping me’. I told him I understand, and I’m currently working on getting a therapist and I’ve been taking my medication, and I told him if I slip up on my behavior, to tell me right away so I can apologize. He said he can’t handle another slip up, because it’s ‘always one slip up’. Then he gave me two months. Two months to sort through all of this sadness and be a better partner, or he’s going to leave me. I told him okay and that I loved him, and he just told me he was muting our conversation and left.

I’ve talked to four different people before turning to Reddit, and they all collectively say that giving someone an ultimatum isn’t love. It’s not something you do to someone. And they all expressed how they don’t like how he’s treating me.

What do I do? I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells and it seems no matter what I do or say, he will be mad at me.

Edit: I want to thank everyone for all of the advice, and for the kind words and the wake up calls.

I do want to mention, it has been a two way relationship up until a few months ago. We are in a long distance relationship, so we aren’t living together or around each other much. I’ve helped him with his mental health as much as he has with mine, and I truly do love him for it.

I want to thank everyone again for giving me advice on how he might be burnt out and not knowing how to communicate that, and for telling me I might not have been the best partner either; perhaps it’s time we have a real sit-down talk, and take a break from our relationship and see where that leads us to.

My current partner is great in so many ways but there’s a flaw. He just sucks the life out of everyday things by making everything unhealthy. I live an active life, work out and try my best to eat healthy foods, but it seems not to be enough. He always questions my gym routine, eating habits, and when I do treat myself to any sort of snack he’ll comment just make me feel bad about eating say a cookie. It’s not possible to have a lazy day around him or have a snack, when I enjoy food he’ll agree but tell me how bad it is for me.

He’s also the biggest hypocrite, although he does work out he plays video games all night and vapes weed… anyway to not let the constant health comments bother me so much?

TLDR: My long term partner and I were open for about 8 months, and recently I have come to the revelation that at this point in my life I am not strong enough to handle the difficulties of managing my insecurities, jealousy, and self worth. This has made me feel immense guilt, since my partner still wants to be open.

Me (F24) Him (M25) We opened at my recommendation, and he was excited as well. We have been together since we were 19 and wanted to explore dating + my sexuality. We were exploring dating separately, fwb style. I was excited to be able to not feel guilty about my attractions, but it didn't really happen. I have an anxious attachment style, while he is avoidant.

Things got complicated for me when he made a whole new friend group and it seemed like him making a new side life. His confidence grew, and I love that, but it felt hard while I was struggling so much to accept it for him. It seemed like it came easy to him, always being okay with me going out on dates. But he was always frustrated at my display of emotions, and didn't seem to understand why I just couldn't be happy for him. I will admit that I did not make it easy for him, needing a lot of help and having hours long draining conversations and arguments. My insecurities made me become someone I didn't like.

Lately the past couple of times he has gone out I have had anxiety attacks and intrusive thoughts of self harm, anger, and unwanted images of him with someone else. I struggle with severe trauma related anxiety and depression and potentially OCD. The intrusive thoughts were debilitating and I would spend days laying around doing nothing but thinking about it. I felt that I was working very hard to manage this myself, but frankly I was awful at it and it was sucking all of my time up. Even when I had a friend I was seeing, it was fun, but I couldn't get past the feelings of guilt and shame. Everytime I hooked up I went home and vomited because I felt so awful.

I have poured myself into education on ENM, while he has not, which frustrated me.

I have been saying that these feelings are for pushing through, but I decided at this time in myself I simply do not have the bandwidth. A couple days ago I asked to close because it had become unhealthy for my mental health. I felt like I failed because I couldn't handle it, and I felt selfish. I think the whole time I was trying to convince myself I was okay with it.

He was upset and bummed, which of course I understand.