When it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, I've got a leg up on the competition. My cat says I passed out under the tree again, but I told her to stop pulling my leg.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stalnoypirat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.

Her plans have been foiled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tea4tiffany_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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My kids want a cat for Christmas...

I normally cook a ham, but hey, whatever makes them happy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Headsup_Eyesdown
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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I think my cat got hurt when we brought in the Christmas tree.

He kept walking around saying, "Me ow! Me ow!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HIV-1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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What do a cat on the beach and Christmas have in common?

SandyClaws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/benofepmn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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Dad, can we please get a cat for Christmas?
  • No, we're going to have ham/turkey as usual.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/primeMotile
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Dad joke on Christmas Cats TV

First of all, ChristmasCatsTV is a thing.

Secondly: "How do cats keep order?" "They have claw enforcement!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesongsinmyhead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy.

He’s my spirit guide.

Edit: Thanks guys.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Dogs always have a rough day but

cats always have a meowy Christmas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad10wolf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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I think I did my best ever dad joke last night...

My three year old daughter commented that our cat, Missy, is older than her at seven years old. My wife stated that Missy will be eight this Christmas. I said "only if we can't afford a turkey".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hazmog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2015
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My dad to my daughters this morning at breakfast....

Q: Do you know what you would have if every car in the u.s. was pink? A: A pink carnation

Q: What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common? A: SandyClaws

Q: What do a plum and an elephant have in common? A: They're both purple except for the elephant.

Q: Do you know how you get down from an elephant? A: You don't... You get down from a goose.

Q: How do you if an elephant has been hiding in your fridge? A: there are footprints in the cheesecake.

There were dozens more....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealsmitty
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Talking to Dad about Sister's Christmas gift.

Me: "I don't know why the owl socks haven't shipped yet. I ordered the cat socks three weeks ago from the same company, and they shipped in two days. If they don't get here by Christmas, I'll have to ship them down to [Sister's] house in Tennessee, after she's left."

Dad: "Oh, I'm sure she won't give a hoot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/axlkomix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2015
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What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

Sandy claws

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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