If you're not a part of a solution,

You're either a solid or a gas.

(Jimmy Carr)

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👤︎ u/xtilexx
📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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Newspaper Headline

Stationary store moves.

^(Credit to Jimmy Carr)

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👤︎ u/remsed777
📅︎ Mar 13 2019
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Shortest jokes in the world!

4 words: Venison's dear, isn't it?

3 words: Stationary store... moves.

2 words: Dwarf... shortage


(c) Jimmy Carr - That magnificent basterd.

I applaud these jokes because each of them is setup + punchline as well as a pun!

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👤︎ u/Nimja_
📅︎ Mar 01 2017
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I was on a date with a girl from Africa, we spent the whole night talking in her native language...

We just clicked.. -- Jimmy Carr

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👤︎ u/The--Fonz
📅︎ Oct 26 2017
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Today I think I became my dad.

> Having holes drilled into house for insulation

> Standing outside with Dad watching workmen do their thing

"Is our house a church now?" I ask.

> Strange look from Dad and other workmen

"Seems like we have... hol(e)y walls!"

> Cue me standing there, grinning like I'm Jimmy Carr, Dad facepalming.

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📅︎ May 06 2014
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