Second joke my dad ever told me, which I later found out he stole from Carlin: you know how you can tell when a moth farts?

It flies in a straight line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jDubbaYo
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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β€˜Atheism is a non-prophet organization.’ - George Carlin
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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George Carlin's stand up sets are just really fleshed out dad jokes.

George Carlin dad jokes the shit out of airline language. I never really realized it until rewatching it years later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdPy5Ikn7dw

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deskclerk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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My dad is an old hippie, this was his thoughts on the 70s

"I used to do drugs in the 70s, now I don't care what the temperature is"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakyourfac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2016
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My dad on flying.

When waiting for our flight, someone said it's time we get on the plane. He looks at me and says "the daredevils can get 'on' the plane, I'm getting 'in' the plane."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icanrunupwalls
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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Atheism...

is a non-prophet organization!

edit: This joke is by the glorious George Carlin. RIP.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/euphonical
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2011
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If a parsley farmer is sued...

does that mean they can garnish his wages? -George Carlin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Believeinthis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2012
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A man is going to have a heart transplant

But then he had a change of heart.

Thank you, George Carlin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdheath
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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