I heard the office IT guy stopped paying for his car insurance. I asked if he's worried about losing the car...
"It's fine. I back it up every morning!", he replied. π
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 27 2022
What is the name of that mexican guy who lost his car?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 16 2022
What do you call a Latin guy who's car just got stolen?
π︎ 103
π
︎ Apr 20 2022
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 25 2022
A silly joke from my kid. Did you see that guy in the fancy car hit the curb?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 18 2022
Did you hear about the guy who passed out after leaving his car running in the garage?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 03 2021
The guy next door with an American muscle car offered to give my wife a lift...
...I told him: thou shalt not corvette your neighbours wife
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 27 2021
A guy was washing his car with his son.
"Dad, canβt you just use a sponge?"
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 28 2021
We were going through the car wash and the guy removed our antenna and handed it to us.
I asked my wife "who was that mast man!"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 24 2021
Did you know that Jimmy Dean, the sausage guy, was also a great race car driver?
Yea, he knew how to brake fast
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 20 2021
A guy asked me how I make my car so shiny and I replied, "Polish."
He then said, "Sorry. Jak sprawiΔ, by TwΓ³j samochΓ³d byΕ tak lΕniΔ
cy?"
π︎ 146
π
︎ Aug 15 2021
A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...
...right in front of a house where thereβs a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. Thereβs a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldnβt mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesnβt budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy heβs ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, βThank you.β
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
βThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.β
π︎ 990
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Did you hear about the guy who built a car entirely out of wood?
Amazing work, but it was useless to him. He doesnβt know how to drive a stick shift.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 28 2021
Whatβd that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I was trying to sell my car to this guy. He asked a bunch of questions about it and seemed interested, then asked βcargo space?β I was confused and told him no.
π︎ 284
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
When I pulled up to the hardware store I saw a guy running away with a wooden panel. I got out the car and as i got closer to the store i saw two more guys running away with concrete posts. I said to my wife...
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Did you hear about the guy who roped his camper to the bumper of his car?
His vacation went off without a hitch.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
What did the new car sales guy say when the customer asked about the cargo space?
βNo. No. This car go road.β
(saw a meme with this awhile back. Gets me every time)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
Did you hear about the guy who bought an electric car and got in a wreck just after he left the dealership?
He turned over a new Leaf.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
What do you call a guy whose car breaks down on his way to meeting his lover?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
"I sold my car to a guy without airbags," said my friend.
I said, "I don't know any guys that come with airbags."
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
What do you call a guy from Barcelona without car?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Did you guys hear about the guy in that horrible car accident? Lost his left leg and left arm
Donβt worry, heβs all right now.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
I knew a Korean guy who would never stop his car
His name was Noh Pahk Ing
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 28 2020
Some guy just accused me of breaking into his car and stealing his subwoofer.
It was a bassless accusation.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
Just watched a movie where the main protagonist decapitates a guy with a carβs rear fin.
Oh sorry, βSPOILERS A HEADβ
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
A guy walked into a Ford dealership. He saw a car that was really expensive.
He couldn't a-FORD it.
(This is not original, I saw it somewhere else, not on Reddit)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Did you hear about the guy who drove through the mountain with multiple people in his car?
He had carpool tunnel syndrome.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
Did you hear about the guy stealing police car tires?
They are working tirelessly to catch him!
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
My boyfriend is a big car guy
And heβs fun to mess with.
The other day we drove by a super dusty Porsche in the parking garage at our apartment.
He sadly says βI feel bad for that Porscheβ
I responded βwhatβs a sha?β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
Guy got his luxury car t-boned in an accident
Suppose he saw how the Mercedes-Benz
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
What do you call a guy who can lift a car?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
Mafia Boss: I want this guy hurt. I want the brake lines of his car to be rusting.
Scientist: Got it.
Boss: And make sure....it looks like an oxidant.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
I wanted to say hi to the guy I saw while parking my car, but it looked like he was going through a lot.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 14 2019
I was sitting in traffic this morning when I noticed the guy in the car next to me was playing an electric guitar.
On the other side was someone doing the same, and behind me was a person on a full drum kit. In the car in front was a guy with a mic screaming out some kind of song. None of the cars were moving, they were all just rocking out playing music. It was at that moment that I realised I was stuck in the middle of a traffic jam.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 17 2017
I saw a guy make an origami car today...
I said: "look, it has manifolds".
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 12 2018
What did the Spanish guy say when he realised his car was missing
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 10 2018
I once knew a guy who drove me around places, and oddly enough he always kept 4 shoes in his car for emergencies.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 06 2019
My friend recently got t-boned in his new car after winning the lottery. I asked him if he was a glass half full or glass half empty type of guy. He responded
Medium-well.
Edit: over-medium is for eggs
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 27 2019
The other day, I saw a guy pooping on a car in a parking lot.
If you ask me, that's really fowl behavior.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
I heard a guy crying on the curb this morning because he wrecked his car
βWas it a Saab?β
No, more of a whimper
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 03 2018
A Mexican guy lost his car
You could say he was Carlos
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 26 2022
What do you call a Mexican guy who lost his car?
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 27 2021
What do you call a guy that lost his car?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 23 2022
What do you call a guy who lost his car in Spain ?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 29 2021
What do you call a Mexican guy who lost his car
π︎ 77
π
︎ Oct 14 2018
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in a car accident?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 15 2018
Whatβs the name of the Mexican guy who lost his car?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 28 2018
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