Captain Picard Puns

A list of puns related to "Captain Picard"

Why doesn't Captain Picard have many girlfriends?

He likes to go where no man has gone before

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👤︎ u/Benasaurus_Rex
📅︎ Apr 03 2019
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Ensign: Captain Picard, can our relationship be something more than just Captain and Ensign?

Picard: Make it S.O. .

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👤︎ u/phish_tacos
📅︎ May 13 2019
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While on shore leave, Captain Picard intends to fix a hole in his uniform the old fashioned way.

Without any replicators on the family orchard, he decides to do it analogue with his brother's old sewing machine.

He puts a thread through the needle, his uniform underneath, and switches it on. It whirs and grunts out clunking noises before being switched back off.

"Robert your machine is broken!"

"What do you want me to do about it, Jean-Luc?"

"I need you to make it sew!"

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👤︎ u/MightyOtaku
📅︎ Dec 13 2018
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What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

“Make queso, number one.”

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👤︎ u/SabinCrusades
📅︎ Jun 26 2018
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I actually submitted my own idea for a Deadpool movie.

He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.

The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.

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👤︎ u/Myntrith
📅︎ Feb 14 2016
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What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

“Make queso, number one.”

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👤︎ u/SabinCrusades
📅︎ Jun 25 2018
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