A list of puns related to "Can You Hear My Heart"
I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.
I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, “Do you want a lift”. “No thanks”, they replied, “We’re Walkers”.
I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all £5 apart from one that was £10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said “that’s maderia cake”.
Bought some cream, it said “store in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.
Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.
A man says “I keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says “I’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.
I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden
What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.
Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.
Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.
You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.
Mexican candy makes my taste buds say “OLE!”
FORGET LOVE… I’
... keep reading on reddit ➡Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
My dad has this habit of pretending he didn't hear what you said, and then "repeating" it. Like if I said I was going to see an art show, he'll say, "You're going to a FART show? I had no idea you'd have any interest in that!" Lots of jokes along those lines, amongst others.
When I was younger I would laugh because he was kinda funny, and also to make him happy, but as I've gotten older I laugh not JUST because he's funny (in a corny way) but because the fact he still makes these jokes makes me so happy and really warms my heart. My mom is physically disabled, my dad has a bunch of health issues, we've all suffered terribly at times because of all this illness. And no matter how bad it gets, my dad is always there trying his hardest to put a smile on other people's faces and to lighten the mood a bit with his jokes. I've always been the type of girl to mope and be depressed when things are hard, but as I've gotten older I've tried to be more like my old man because I think it's something really special and admirable and selfless about stepping outside of your own negativity to give others something to laugh at or smile about. My dad is such a fuckin hero, I love him so much, and I can't imagine how unbearable this world would seem at times without him trying to make us all laugh.
So to all you dads telling your corny dad jokes, don't ever stop. Your kids and wife might groan or roll their eyes, but inside they love their corny old man and appreciate the goofy puns and fart jokes you tell!
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you
can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be
driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends,
family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much
on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit
there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to
stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin
flowing and pumps up the old heart!
At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's
an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART! LOVE EACH OTHER! YEP!
My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama and petty
things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!
From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your head -
we're all doing pretty well in mine!
Just kidding. All my travel plans are to doctors and the bathroom.
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