Cairn Gorm Puns

The Beast of Cairn Gorm

Just over a 100km north of Inverness, Scotland in the small village of Braemar, on the Berriedale River, lived a gaelic speaking people of approximately 800. Raising cattle, farming and being good neighbours was the village’s mission statement. Winters remained dark and bitter but pints were rarely without gripped hands and spirits remained high. On one such night, a dozen or so frolicking and drunken Braemar folk kept a late hour at the Ox and Yolk Pub; an establishment in Braemar that was the pearl of the town. The pub, owned by Angus John MacDougall, rarely had its guitars and fiddles silenced and the laughter was perpetual. In the corner of the pub opposite the raging fireplace, Angus kept a piano that was rarely played and mostly used as a spot to lay your empty drinks. Angus saw to it that a doily was placed atop it to prevent any water damage. He bought it in Aberdeen at an auction and felt that it gave the place a bit of style but residents knew, as did he, that piano had no place in proper fiddle tunes. At least not here. Aila Gillis, the server kept the drinks flowing and was on her feet for hours from the opening when dinner service started and the stews filled bellies and the chips never stopped, post-dinner. When Colin Kenworth laid his fiddle down to the boos of the few left, he did so with a smile and an apology. This was the dance. This was the routine each night. The music had to cease at some point and it was always to the yells of resistance of the patrons but they also knew that this signified their time to get the coats and hats on and head out into the crunchy snow and howling wind. After all, the wives would let them play for awhile. Farming and cattle keeping was hard work and it was a trade off. They would keep the peace and ensure that they had their nights of pints and repeated gaelic tales of northern prowess in hunting and iron guts that held their drink like no other.

The remaining din was of goodbyes, stools moved about, dishes and pint glasses collected and coats being slipped on. A few laughs for the remaining 9 patrons that typically saw to the close of the place and cutting through the jolly ambience was a shriek that some would claim to have shook the tables and the empty glasses upon them. This unknown noise repeated one more time, seconds after, and this time, it already had won its silence as to remain as clear as possible. Heads turned to each other with a look of shock and disbelief.

“What

Can anyone recommend some good mountains to climb here? I’ve done Snowdon and Cairn Gorm (and a two other peaks on the circular trail) and a couple of other small Munro’s. Any scrambling is great too!

Hi all! This is my first time doing a trip report, so would welcome feedback and thoughts. I am conscious that I definitely did this in ‘long-form’ style, but I wanted it to serve multiple purposes and this trip meant a lot to me so I hesitated from cutting it down at this stage.

One quick plug up front: I am an American expat (early 30s) living near London, England. Not sure how many folks here are based in the UK, but if you are interested in collaborating on a trip some time, shoot me a DM. It’d be great to find some hiking partners that may have similar aspirations. OK, happy reading!

Where: Scottish 4000ers Traverse; this is an unofficial route that hits the 9 peaks in Scotland >4000ft, starting near Aviemore in the Cairngorms and finishing in Fort William.

When: 2021/09/04 to 2021/09/11

Distance: 103mi

Elevation Gain: 22.8K feet

Conditions: Temperatures ranged during the week from the low 50s to mid/upper 60s during the day, with one standout 'nice' day on Wednesday that was sunny with temps reaching mid 70s; temperatures did not go much below 50 at night. Precipitation trended drier in the first half of the week, with wet days on Thursday and Friday. Overall, beyond the Wednesday sun, mist and fog clung to the peaks. Unfortunately, I did not get any views from the summits with every view blocked by mist (some visibility from Cairn Gorm).

Gear list: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CQ8hx92R_fUzIHiSbIoPUDhDOcjmCE1woX3_w6U-B0s/edit?usp=sharing

Useful Pre-Trip Information or Overview:

• Link to route taken on OS Maps: https://osmaps.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/route/8005465/4000ers-Traverse
• I plotted the route based off an entry in this older book that is great for on/off trail routes in Scotland: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Backpackers-Britain-Southern-Scottish-Highlands/dp/1852845279

Photo Album: https://imgur.com/gallery/kXx5csx

The Report:

I planned to arrive in Aviemore by train on Saturday evening, after leaving my car in Berwick-upon-Tweed that afternoon. I’d driven up from Kent starting Friday night, and Berwick would be my singular point of return for my car after I'd finished the thru hike.

My

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

NOTE: this is NOT a cairngorm acting theory.

first off, moon cairn is NOT cairn, yes, it is cairns physical body but it is not the ‘real’ cairn as said in the books lets start from the beginning, aechmea purposefully took antarc and not phos, why? because he was a perfect target! very vulnerable and not really cared about, very curious to discover the world. so why did aechmea take antarc? to ruin phos’ mental stability.

now, onto the death of ghost, i am almost sure of him knowing cairngorm was inside of ghost, perhaps by when ghost was fighting they got scraped/changed personalitys. ghost being phos’ new partner was a big help to aechmea in this case as he knew about cairn, so he decided to take ghost. GHOST. he didnt want cairn gorm, he wanted ghost , the outer layer. this also plays into the whole thing later! having taken phos’ new partner, decreases phos’ mental stability once again, leaving cairn who wouldve reminded him of ghost, instead looked a lot like cairn, while still being the body ghost once was on, causing phos to become delusional, seeing antarc in cairn, them feeding into it didnt make it any better now, while on the moon, aechmea found the perfect opportunity, you know what it is? getting cairn away from phos. he had the PERFECT lie, and for some reason readers believe this, the lie is the eye. cairngorm was never controlled by ghost. ghost had very little contact if any at all once the outer layer was deteriorated. the lunarians clearly have the technology to control cairn by the eye, proven by phos’ pearl eye. if ghost DID have contact with cairn and was controlling them, the eyes are useless and are very unnecessary, because cairns hair is white, as you know, and cairngorm is black. ghost was still in cairn, not in the eye but in the hair, still doesnt mean they have had contact though. cairngorm is described as rude, selfish and arrogant by ghost. its clear they arent controlled by ghost

i haven’t seen anyone talking about this and always thought this. lmk ur thoughts!!

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And now I’m cannelloni