C Squat Puns

By doing diddly squats!

Call the squat team.

“Diddly squat”. Dead pan serious as he says it too.

He did diddly squat.

I said, "jack squat, I do it all day".

It does Sas-squats.

Squeaky squat squad squinting

Diddly squat

Came home from work, squatted down, held out my arms and asked my son where my hug was. Without missing a beat he looks over his shoulder and says, "I don't see it anywhere."

...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.

I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.

Papa squat

I just do diddly squats

Did a bunch of diddly squats.

We had finished squats and were moving on to the next exercise. I told her:

Your Honor, I request permission to approach the bench.

She didn't find it as funny as I did.

I figured out that our heeler is part alien, because he leaves crap circles instead of crop circles.

(he gets so excited on walks that he doesn't "squat still", instead going in a circle)

Sometimes I squat on the floor, hold my knees and lean forward.

Because that's how I roll.

I was sitting around with my brother and dad watching sports and we got on the subject of exercise. I asked my brother if he ever squats nowadays. My dad interrupts and says, "nah, he stands sometimes though."

Groan.

I asked my dad if he could make me a sandwhich and he said, "i dont know, that sounds pretty hard to do. Let me try." He then squated, put his arms out, and wiggled his fingers at me and then said" BOOM, you are now a sandwhich!"

http://goo.gl/4RBWVA

tl;dr: TIL During the 2014 Sochi Olympics, Russians got free passes on the Moscow subway system if they did 30 squats in front of a motion sensor

/u/SayLem37: "How did the sensor know they were russian?"

/u/eatnubmer1: "They did the squats quickly."

Two men are walking in the jungle when suddenly one has to poop. He tells his friend and the friend says he has to go too. Of course there are many dangerous animals in the jungle so they are scared of going alone. Then the first man suggests that they get some leaves and squat back to back so they can keep an eye out. The second man agrees with him. While they are pooping a lion's roar erupts from the trees. The first man speaks

"You're sacred aren't you"

The a a second man not wanting to seem like a coward says no.

The first man says

"Then would you mind wiping your own ass"

I'm a mechanic, and our work van has some cheap after market headlights installed. One wasn't working and I found out its because they're poorly made. I commented "Look at this Chinese crap!" He turned around and says "No, this is a Chinese crap" and squats down on the floor.

Diddly squats

Diddly-squats

Diddly squat.

Diddly-squats

Diddly squats

Diddley squats

They do Diddly Squats!