Got the police this morning

So around 130 this morning I heard someone using a circular saw outside my apartment. I got out of bed pissed off and saw through my window two people were cutting apart the fence surrounding our garbage bins and stole it.

After 2 hours of unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, I went out for a smoke and saw a cop car in our lot. Somebody had made a noise complaint and the police responded.

I spoke to them and after giving them a description of what I saw (they found the entire situation hilarious) I asked them "so would you consider this a fence offence?"

Groans were had by all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maple-Whisky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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Got my mom with cookies.

Mom: "Oh that's good, only 130 calories for the whole packet" Me: "Why would you eat the packet?" Dad: laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswingingman97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
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Any League of Legends players out there?

I got into an ARAM game the other day. For those of you who do not know there are characters, or champions, you pick in the game. ARAM is a game-mode in League of Legends where the computer gives you a random character out of the 130+ champions, or so. I am not good at all the champions... not even close! So a way to balance this out the game allows you to trade champions with the other people on your team.

So in this game there is a champion called Fizz which I am not good with at all, which I randomly got... and this is what happened inside the pre-game chat:

Me: Oh shoot.

Me: Can anyone trade me?

--Someone trades me their champion--

Me: Thank you! I am so bad with this little guy that you can say I am... Fizzically challenged.

From a game lobby where I was the only one who used chat, it exploded to people typing their moaning and groaning, sensible chuckles, and hearty "LOLs".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearZeBubus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
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I got my campers good this morning...

I run a summer day camp for about 130 campers each day. This morning I woke up to a thunderstorm, and as a camp director, that meant all schedules and activities are out the window and something different had to be done.

I greeted all the campers at the morning assembly and said, "Looks like the rain has put a "damp"---er on things!"

It was met with resounding groans from the staff and older kids and a great giggle from the younger campers.

I was soooo proud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/appgrad22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What's a Broadway?

about 130 pounds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BourganBoy
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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Was driving down broadway in Chicago when my Dad dropped this one.

Dad: What's a Broadway? Me: ...... dad: about 130 pounds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BourganBoy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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