Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.

I think I'm being stalked

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📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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Came home late last night to find cows loitering in my front yard

A small group of calves were munching on my front flower beds, and mooving slowly towards the woods. Thought about calling the cops to report a bunch of mooligans, but I didn't really have a beef with them. Haven't seen hide nor hair of them since!

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📅︎ May 21 2019
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I know its Mothers Day but,

I got sent a bunch of flowers with all the heads cut off. I phoned the police and they said its sounds like i was being stalked.

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👤︎ u/jamieF1604
📅︎ Mar 30 2019
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Flower Power...

My wife and I were shopping and noticed the store had a bunch of fall flowers in pots out front.

My wife: "Oh look! They have mums! What size should I get?"

Me: "Well, my paycheck hasn't hit the bank yet, so we should probably keep our purchases to a mini-mum."

My wife: " ... "

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👤︎ u/grobmyer
📅︎ Oct 17 2014
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