A list of puns related to "Building Houses"
I only wanted one granny flat :(
It was a massive blow
I’m worried he’s putting up walls
You better start bee hiving!
But i need concrete evidence
Me (picking up a nail from a box) “all these nails have the heads on the wrong ends!” Dad (without even stopping to look) “you idiot, those are for the other end of the house!”.
I wanted to see it so he sent me this picture. He said.. "you can't really tell how big it is from the picture so check out the front porch."
It's called Habitat for Huge Manatees.
When I walked in the place was great, everything was perfect apart from the kitchen. There were gas mains but no cooker! Work surfaces and water pipes, but no sink; empty plugs and spaces for where the fridge and freezer should sit.
When I bought the house I was told it was fully furnished! Furious, I called up intending to give whomever answered an earful.
I was told that everything should be arriving individually, and the house is being used as an experiment for completely autonomous, self thinking kitchen appliances!
Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. I opened it and a stove strolled in, tilted forward in a bow, slid past me and set itself into its spot! Even attaching itself to the gas mains!
Later that day another knock at the door signalled the arrival of the fridge and freezer.(who had travelled together) They bowed and sat themselves perfectly in place in my new kitchen. I was beaming!
That evening I was explaining to my wife how the appliances had arrived, when came another knock at the door. “This technology is going to change the world, I swear it!” I told her. “Can you answer the door? I’ve been on my feet all day”
“Yeah,” she replied, less enthusiastic than I,“but it’ll get to a point when humans are completely inferior.” She explained “When these machines develop such sentience, what’s stopping them from overthrowing us?” “Treating us as slaves, like we to them now?” She asked, distraught at theses ideas.
Knock knock
“It’s best not to worry about these things,” I said in an attempt to alleviate her fears.
“There are people- professionals developing contingencies for any possible future robot uprising!” “That future you’re frightened about is purely science fiction right now, and the way our collective knowledge and application of technology has advanced, (Even in the past 50 years!) our own scientists and engineers will be able to crush any worries we may have when the time comes.” I explained.
She sighed, agreeing somewhat reluctantly. “Don’t think on it now, have some faith!” I told her.
Knock knock
“Now let that sink in!”
A whole lot
Edit: The original punchline was “a lot” but “a whole lot” is way better.
On the outside
He igloos it together ..
I don’t want a lot for Christmas.
Now I live in pain
Igloos it together!!
I may be a little drunk but this is my favourite joke ever and I feel it belongs here because I’ve not seen it here yet!
But it was too novel a concept
Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.
Now he’ll pave the way to success
Cottage Cheese
Start a Club
Win their hearts
Give them tools and Spades
Pay them with diamonds
But they don't give a dam.
It was a baseless accusation
Constructive criticism.
...but he really knew how to make an entrance.
I just hope I can afford the Morkage payment.
iglooed it!
Bonus joke:
And he did it all by his elf!
igloos it together
Igloos it together
Igloo’s it together!!
Igloos it together
"Igloos it together."
Igloos it together!
Igloos it together
Igloos it together.!!!
Igloos it together!
Igloos it together!
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together
Igloos it together
Cottage cheese
Igloos it together
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together.
He igloos it together
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together.
Igloos it together.
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