Bright Eyes Puns

I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.

I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?

She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.

So I say, not yet I'm dirty.

She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:

Hi! um...

wait a sec,

um, I know um,

um, wait.... dir...

[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]

Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!

I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...

It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...

It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.

Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out "60 Watts - Made in China".

A quaint little men's class,

a few with class,

some smelling of a gin glass,

some with eyes of a lass,

the remainder eyeing a lad,

but all glad,

and all present,

youngster of the present,

bearders of the crescent,

readers new testaments,

preachers of old testaments,

bearers of saffron tenets,

wearers of white tints,

weird lovers of croissant,

well, all here, will all hear?

we never know,

lets look at the show

 

The English teacher, said,

"how to drink a juice?"

i know, said bart the bartender,

"with vodka and chicken tender"

the weirded beardo now angry,

showed he was a shouter,

wanted to be a bart-ender,

while shushing the crowd,

use a pipe, piped up a voice, loud,

"huh" exclaimed preacher pastor,

"no smoking" he said, showing a guilty fluster ,

"no sir" said the voice,

I'm extra maker,

spoke the voice quicker,

Mr.White scratching head,

"I'm an ex-straw maker",

the air cleared.

 

Proceeding further, Teacher continued,

the class was listening, eyes glued,

"etiquette is important" he said,

"wear napkin before eating",

their faces changed,

pulse now beating,

Mr.White said, "sir, we don't bleed",

an irritated saffron Sundar spoke,

"if you bleed, education you don't need"

the English sir, now a sundered bloke,

calmed the masked fish market,

as his God's fate chisel hammered,

"Do you know how to fork?" he stammered,

a brief silence, and too many whispers later

"I Pen is use sir", said a bright face,

"Do you know how to use a fork?" he corrected,

with damage now done, Silence resumed.

 

>ThePundits

My dad was driving us to the airport early in the morning, and the sun was extremely bright straight ahead of us. Sitting in the front, I pulled down the sun-blocker-thingy but it didnt help. I noticed Dad was driving just fine, and without sunglasses. I asked him "how can you drive with the sun in your face like that? I can barely see anything.." He replied "Ah there's nothing to it, I just keep my eyes closed."

6 year old: How do you make ice cream? Me: You take you sunglasses off on a really bright day. 6 year old: What? Me: That how you make "eyes scream"

We were driving and my brother was complaining about the sun being in his eyes so naturally I responded with "well you know what they always say... look on the bright side"

We were talking about the bit in the eye test where they shine a really bright light into your eye while they look at it.

My sister said 'I don't like that bit, its like its blinding me'

Dad replied, 'Well, they have to drive business up somehow!'

The light is beaming into my eyes. "Woah, it's so bright..", I remark.

"It's the future!"

"... What, Dad?"

"It's the future, Ermen, it's so bright!"