Boyfriend Material Puns

For clarification, Forest Hill is an elementery school in our town.

Anyway, we were driving to go get pho, and I was joking about his sister getting kidnapped because she's on a trip to China.

Him: Oh! Speaking of kidnapping, did you hear about the kidnapping at Forest Hill?

Me: No?! When did that happen?!

Him: It's okay, he woke up.

He kept chuckling pridefully to himself that he came up with that joke for a good ten mintutes.

Q: When is it time to go to the dentist?

A: Tooth hurty.

ME: Let me just use the bathroom before I hit the road

BF: Don't hit the road, what did it ever do to you?

Went on a date with a girl, and she was wearing a flannel shirt. She mentioned how her friends who are into fashion would kill her if they knew that she went on a first date in a flannel shirt.

I saw opportunity. I reached over, felt the arm and said, "this isn't flannel, is it felt?" She responds "No, I just said its Flannel" but I cut her off and said "IT IS NOW"

She didn't leave immediately, and we are going out again. Figured would let her know what she was getting into right away.

girl feels shirt "whats that?"

......."boyfriend material"

He asks them to feel my jacket/shirt/whatever I'm wearing. He then asks if they recognise the fabric. When they respond with "no," he'll tell them:

"That's boyfriend material."

In trying to figure out the material of my boyfriends spiffy new jacket:

Mom: Could it be felt?

Dad: (Rubs jacket in between fingers) It is now!

My boyfriend is future dad material.

Him: (asks annoying question)

Me: Noooooo (I apparently sound like I'm saying Nooooooo-a)

Him: Who is Noah? You're always calling for him.

Drives me insane. I hear this 'joke' at least once a week.

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.