I have a suspicion my Wife is adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, She just shrugged it off..
A fly can walk but a walk can't fly (wingless fly in my garden LOL)
This happened yesterday: My wife and I were in the garden talking about which flowers to get and plant. She said that she wanted some daisies, but not too many.
I replied, “so just a dollop of daisies?”
What do you call a garden gnome that migrates to the city?
What does a pirate do in a garden?
My neighbor broke into my shed to steal my gardening tools
I used to think my wife is cheating with a gardener
Because under the comforter there were always rose petals. Now I think she is cheating with a railway worker. Because under the comforter I found a railway worker.
I got home from work today to find that someone has taken up all my grass from the garden and left it in a pile in the corner.
I thought to myself , that's sod.
An apartment tells a garden a joke but the garden doesn't understand it
I bought some garden furniture the other day from a lady that looked quite like a rodent.
I was picking vegetables in the garden this morning and forgot I stuck some in my pocket.
Going upstairs I reached for my phone and realized, I accidentally pea-ed my pants.
My Norwegian husband said I could grab anything I wanted from his herb garden.
I am having the thyme of my Leif.
Why did the gardener get a second job?
He wasn't raking in enough.
Billy Joel entered a gardening contest recently
He won for the longest thyme
I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
I found a flying mammal in my garden who wasn't looking well, so I took him to see Jon Bon Jovi.
He told me "Bat medicine is what you need Oh, oh, oh".
Why did the gardener have to take a shower?
He just soiled his plants!
What’s gardener’s favorite song?
Mow it, mov it. I’d like to…. Mow it!
A friend of mine asked why I started a spice garden.
I just figured it was thyme.
What is a snail trail in the garden called?
I was going to go work at a herb garden...
...but I didn't have enough thyme
What did the gardener do after they retired?
What did the Oakridge Boys say to the Olive Garden waitress?
Mmm pasta, mmm pasta, mmm pasta now, now
My dad took me down to a garden centre to buy manure but they were out of stock.
We weren't taking shit from anyone that day
Daniel is a gardener and lion...
so we nicknamed him Dan da lion.
My wife told me that my botanical garden was so expensive that it was preventing us from starting a family. She said I can either have a hobby...
Did you hear about the thrift store in Boston....
... that's been plagued with unexpected phenomenon and ghost sightings recently? Well, Matt Damon has decided he wants to make a movie out of the story.
It's going to be called Goodwill Haunting
Just received a masters degree in 'garden fencing'.
I am now a post graduate.
What is the gardener's favourite Christmas carol?
Lettuce grow, lettuce grow, lettuce grow.
Pooh can't calculate the angle at which his friend magically conjured a kitschy garden ornament.
He's not good with tigger-gnome-hat-trick equations.
What kind of socks do gardeners wear?
Well, Garden hose, of course!
A small blue garden bird made of mahogany. Be great if I had a related joke...
I interviewed the leading German herb gardeners and compiled their knowledge into a book.
It's called "Wisdom of the Kraut"
my wife said I had to choose between my two expensive hobbies: gardening, or audiophile
I agonized over the choice before realizing it was quite simple.
but of course, bose before hose!
I hired a gardener because my wife said she would have sex with me after I got the yard work done.
Everything was going great until I went to pay him and he said “your wife already took care of it.”
You can learn a lot of things when making a rose garden
I learnt that I don’t feel like making a rose garden any time soon.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
The geometry major proved to be an excellent gardener...
...due to his extensive knowledge of tree angles.
What does a pastor use when bugs get into his vegetable garden during the benediction?
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
So, earlier I was replanting my succulents and I offhandedly mentioned to my fiancé I'd like to do gardening shit with my sis...
He replied, "She'd be super helpful since she's a HOE."
#mypunssucc #punnyshit
What did the gardener say to the two men who were fighting?
What did the parrot say when it saw its car driving away?
I've suspected my Wife of adding extra soil to our garden, so I confronted her about it, but she just shrugged it off..
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
