A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Iβm reading a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is going to happen.
I can feel it.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ May 31 2020
Iβm reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. Theyβve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.
It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just canβt-elope
π︎ 151
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I was reading a novel earlier when my daughter came up to me and asked why the book was so thick.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...
and I can't put it down !
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Iβm reading a book about a world without gravity...
Itβs impossible to put it down.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jul 30 2020
I was listening to a really raunchy song on the radio while reading a super rare book at the library.
I had to be careful with the volume.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
I was reading this book on antigravity
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Iβve been reading this book on Anti-Gravity.
So far it has been impossible to put down.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
So I was reading the book "Caps For Sale" to my seven year old kid...
He looks at the peddler and goes, "wow, that guy really has a lot on his head!"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 23 2020
I'm reading a book titled "The Stockholm Syndrome."
I hated it at first, but now I love it.
π︎ 121
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
I've just started reading a book about Fort Knox,
but I'm finding it really hard to get into it.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
I was reading a bedtime story to my daughter when the book abruptly ended. We were both perplexed, and my daughter asked, βIs it over?β, to which I replied,
βYep, thatβs all she wrote!β
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. βDaddy, why is that book so thick?β asks the boy.
βItβs long story,β replies the father.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
During quarrantine I decided to enrich my science knowledge and started reading a book about anti-gravity.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 27 2020
Just finished reading a book about how to make clothes quickly...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
So I walked into my daughter's room with a tape measure the other day, and she was lying on her bed reading a book. I stood in the doorway and started slowly extending the tape measure, all the way across the room, until it touched her cheek. "What??" she asked me. My response...
"I'm measuring your patience!"
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Aug 24 2019
I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
I have hard time reading self help books...
I donβt why, I just canβt help myself.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 20 2020
What do you call the Queen sipping tea while reading a book?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 15 2020
I finally got around to reading that Stephen hawking book.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
I just finished reading a book on the history of metal fasteners.
I have to say it was absolutely riveting.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
My wife said she was reading a banned book
I asked if it was about marching or jazz
π︎ 77
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
I had to stop reading the book, The Swiss Cheese Murders...
The plot was full of holes.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
Today, my kid asked: βCan I have a book mark? Iβm reading a bookβ
I burst into tears. He is 11 Years old and still does not know my name is John.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
I'm reading a book called "The History of Lubricants".
π︎ 330
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︎ May 26 2019
The translator of this book I'm reading couldn't find the pun in the original language
imgur.com/G4IVPvJ
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 14 2019
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
I asked my wife why she likes reading books about black holes.
She said βbecause they are timelessβ.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
Iβm reading a book about carabiners.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 29 2019
I've been reading some books about gravitation
they're impossible to put down.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 08 2019
Iβm reading a book about WD-40.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Feb 22 2019
My kid was reading a book about magical oranges
That was some real Pulp Fiction
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 18 2019
I just finished reading the phone book.
Not much of a plot, but man, what a cast!
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
I usually pour water and leaves all over my books before reading them.
Yes, it sounds weird, but itβs a novelty.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 24 2019
I asked my girlfriend what book she was reading
She replied "It's a mystery."
I said "Doesn't it say on the cover?"
Cue eye rolling.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 26 2016
[Self] [Request] Puns about books or reading!
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 29 2018
Iβve been reading a really good book about vacuums
Iβm just so sucked into it!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
My Dad couldn't stop collecting and reading books about The Hobbit.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 11 2019
I love reading books in Braille
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 26 2019
I was reading a book on Helium
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
I'm reading a book about antigravity...
It's impossible to put it down.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
Iβve just been reading a book about anti-gravity, itβs impossible to put down!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
Iβm reading a book on anti-gravity...
...itβs impossible to put down.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
π︎ 59
π
︎ May 19 2020
Iβm reading a horror book in Braille. Something terribleβs about to happen.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
I am reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down
π︎ 39
π
︎ May 24 2020
I was reading a book about helium
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 17 2020
I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can't seem to put it down.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 29 2020
Iβm currently reading a book about gravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 20 2020
I am reading a book about anti-gravity
Its impossible to put it down
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 29
π
︎ Mar 02 2020
Iβm currently reading a book about anti gravity
π︎ 27
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
Iβve been reading a book on anti-gravity
I just canβt seem to put it down
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
I'm reading a book about anti gravity
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
Iβm reading a book about antigravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 29 2019
Iβm reading a book on antigravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
I'm reading this horror book in Braille.
Something really horrible is about to happen...
I can feel it.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Itβs impossible to put down.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 18 2020
(A classic ) Iβm reading a book about antigravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
I am reading a book called βThe History of Lubricants.β
π︎ 437
π
︎ Apr 20 2019
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 15 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 30 2019
I am reading a book called βThe History of Lubricants.β
π︎ 142
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Finally got around to reading that book about clocks.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 04 2019
I'm currently reading a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 27 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 22 2019
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity
Its impossible to put down!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 30 2019
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
I am reading a book on anti-gravity.
Itβs impossible to put down!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
I am reading this book about antigravity
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
I was reading a book, I can't put it Down.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 07 2019
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Itβs impossible to put down!
π︎ 59
π
︎ Feb 16 2019
Did you hear that Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity?
Itβs impossible to put down.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Today I was reading a horror book in Braile, and I knew something bad was going to happen
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jun 04 2019
Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Its impossible to put down!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 03 2019
I finally got around to reading a book about planning my day...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
I was reading a book on the history of glue
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 30 2019
I am reading a book about anti-gravity...
I just can't put it down!
π︎ 64
π
︎ Aug 21 2018
Im reading a book about anti-gravity
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 02 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 03 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 16 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
Itβs impossible to put down
π︎ 15
π
︎ May 17 2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 13 2019
Iβve been reading this book π about Anti Gravity
I canβt seem to put it down.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 15 2019
I'm reading a book about anti gravity.
Its impossible to put down.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 23 2018
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