Blue Blooded Puns

It took an accident with red blood to bring blue to the world.

A pigment maker named Diesbach was trying to create a popular red out of cochineal, an insect still used for red dye in everything from lipstick to ketchup.

He added iron sulfate mixed with potash which we later discovered has a useful element now called potassium.

Anyway, the potash he used was contaminated with animal blood, which contains iron, and rather than creating red, he accidentally invented an affordable, long-lasting true blue.

When it came to making red pigment... he really BLUE it.

Red paint

We're all in vain

The nurse was trying to take my blood pressure, and couldn't get it at first. I told her I have deep veins and usually the cuff has to be inflated until my hand turns blue. She looked concerned, and I said, not literally blue, I was just being colorful. She did NOT laugh. Akward.

Around the breakfast table we were discussing what kinds of things in nature are naturally blue.

Me: I think the blood of the horseshoe crab is blue.

Brother: What's a horseshoe crab?

Dad: You might know it as a king crab.

Me: No, that's another... ooooh.

And groans ensued.

So the wife is looking at the TV guide, and she says "All that's on this week is marathons. There's a Law & Order marathon, a Blue Bloods marathon, a Bones marathon...".

So I say "They should have an Amazing Race marathon".

Granddaughter laughed for half a minute. Wife just groaned.