Big Pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/actionaddam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Math puns are a sine of a big problem.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolaterush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Is my friend good enough for the big leagues (for puns)?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misspygmy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I have found a big pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zachattack15782
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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My 12yo's first big pun. I'm so proud.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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Mods are awake. Upvote this picture of Big Pun anyway.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shantotto11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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This is my big cat, Chairman...(his name is the pun)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/katiekakeex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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[X-post from /r/puns] I'm a big fan of the Russian monarch of canyons,

Czar Chasm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chimichangarific
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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[Metal] I steel think tha tin most of these posts, the comments lead straight into puns. I'm not a big fan, it seems like a copper out.

But thi silvery from one post to the next.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bilbowtech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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My wife rang me at the pub and said, β€œIf you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What’s better than a Dad bod?

A father figure.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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My wife just threw away my favourite herb.

She's such a Thyme waster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDR_Gungoose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Chicken watching cartoons pun

I know you big beautiful bastards can help me think of something. Could any of you make a pun about chickens watching cartoons or kids shows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bman9864
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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The biggest red flag
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zachattack15782
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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Richard Osman with an absolute peach imgur.com/esZMaHi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualShock1991
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I don’t mind.

I take it with a pinch of sugar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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An abusement park
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MazuBazu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Still up for sale?
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EC097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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They say you can identify a tree by its bark, but this one has me stumped.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bladingbeckie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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She does Just do it
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Big paws.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadohawk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Driving behind a hearse, my wife asked β€œHow fast do you think a hearse can go?”

Me: I don’t think very fast at all

Wife: Why not?!

Me: Well I mean they have all that dead weight in the back...

Literally a conversation we had last night. She actually laughed out loud!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeroWeDeserve87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Was pretty proud of this exchange on a dating app tonight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rachrawr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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It takes guts to be an organ donor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HenriBoneu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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Title
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alzaphoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:

"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"

...the very, very first faux toe ;)

Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Punny!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2018
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You thought other puns were bad? wait until you (sorry I dunno how to add text to images and i'm new to reddit)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moneybrainz99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Lettuce rejoice.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them…

He asked, β€œBy mistake?”

I said, β€œOh come on! Not you too!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
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Bigamist…

What an Italian calls very thick fog

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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Request for pun help.

Hi everyone.

I don't know if this is allowed but I'm running out of ideas. I'm trying to make puns dealing with candies relating to the words "Leadership", "Service", and either "Fellowship" or "friendship". I figured this is the place of experts and hoped you could provide me with a solution. I'm planning on using this for big little reveal in my fraternity.

Thanks again ahead of time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkecojaj
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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What do you call a woman who has 4 sons that are all CEOs?

An executive producer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankenstien23
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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A big thank you to "Dad jokes."

As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!

I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.

Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Junglejimirish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Let me know if any of these make you laugh!
  1. What's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty!
  2. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  3. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
  4. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. Wow, it was tense!
  5. All my lamps are gone... and I couldn't be more de-lighted!
  6. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  7. Chemists give the best advice, they've got all the solutions.
  8. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”
  9. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
  10. I had to make these bad science jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Did any of them make you laugh? Don't tell me no pun in ten did!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrujaBean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Need funny puns for my food truck menu items

Hey y'all. I have an açaí bowl food truck in Fort Worth, TX, and we've always had some pretty witty menu item names. For exmaple, we just took off "the Big Lebolwski"

 

We just added some things to our menu. Here it is: https://www.rollinnbowlin.com/menu

 

Anyone have a good funny pun name for our avocado toast? I'll post a picture of our menu on our food truck if someone gives me a really good name! And if you have any better names for any of our items, I'd love to hear them!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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Call all pun creators

My sister is in the emergency room with second degree burns on her foot from cooking oil, I need puns to make fun of her at thanksgiving.

Be merciless.

Edit: it was great, you're puns were big hits. After each pun I said your username without context, but at the end of dinner someone asked me if I was going insane and I said "no, those are the pun credits" so, in some of your cases it was pretty funny to say out of context.

Thank you all for your entries, they were great!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrimsonCultist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2016
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Is this a pun, per se?

Almost 10 years ago now when my daughter’s mom was pregnant with herβ€”waddling miserably towards the tail-end of her third trimester and about ready to popβ€”she looked forlornly at her figure in the mirror one day and announced, β€œOmigod I’m as big as a house!”

And so I, the Rico Suave motherfucker that I am, popped my head up from the book I was reading on the bed and responded thusly without missing a beat:

β€œWell, baby girl, if you’re a house then you’re my dream home...”

I thought our relationship was my rock on which we would build one hundred stories, but there were termites in the foundation. Unfortunately she ultimately turned out to be a mobile home that couldn’t stay tethered to a single lot for more than a few years at a time as, a short time later, she up-and-skedaddled from our lives and has been a deadbeat mom to our little girl ever since. (My daughter and I built a beautiful, cozy little bungalow-for-two anyways.)

Anyway, does that qualify as a pun, or just an extended metaphor? If not, sorry, I just always thought that was a good line and I wanted to humble-brag a bit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Need a pun having to do with Karo Syrup for a good cause!

A friend called as I was walking out the door this morning and said she found out yesterday afternoon that she has breast cancer. She knows when I leave and timed it that way because she couldn't handle a long conversation. Bread dipped in Karo is her big comfort food, so I am wanting to pick some up with a loaf of bread and leave it along with a note by her door. I want the note to be happy/upbeat and figured what's better than a one line pun. Problem is, I am stuck. (see what I did there?)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaspySalamander
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2017
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Just got "Dad joked" by my 4 year old

Me: I really want to get a big bulldog one day. Daughter: daddy, you can't get a big bulldog! Me: why not? Daughter because they're too "ruff"

(she even gave me the "aha" face like she knew the pun she was making. I was one proud dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajkilpatrick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
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[Meta] Dadjokes aren't just puns.

As a big proponent of the dadjoke I want to argue that a dadjoke is not just a pun. I see lots of material submitted here that might be better suited for /r/punny.

Speaking as a dad, for me a classic dad joke is highly dependent on the context.

I can't whip out old standbys at any moment and call them proper dadjokes. If I'm driving my kid to school I can't just ask him "Hey, do you know why the kids couldn't see the pirate movie? It was rated aaarrrgh!". That's just a bad joke.

OTOH, if my kid says "are" kinda funny (which he has before), and I make a joke about him being the youngest pirate I know (I may or may not have done this before), then that's a dadjoke. A shitty one, but still a dadjoke. The best context ones are where a situation presents itself and the dad takes the opportunity to make the lame joke (as in a post from awhile back where the OP overheard three or four dads make almost the exact same joke at an aquarium).

Straight up puns should go to /r/punny. Context specific jokes which rely on vagaries of the language or the funny situation, should stay here.

Just my two cents worth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smileyman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2016
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I need a punny movie title!

I've been working on a screenplay for a movie (nothing big, nothing even medium-sized, I'm pretty much doing it for fun with one of my friends) and we can't think of a clever movie title. The TL;DR version is it's about a bartender who accidentally steals a undercover cops ID just by coincidence. It's not a comedy (asides from a but of dry humor) so nothing too dadjokey, no offense to r/dadjokes, but just a good clever pun would be great. If you have any ideas please let me know! Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iPundemic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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Someone posted a joke on inauguration day and now I can't stop thinking of Trump puns, so I'll just dump them here.

He probably has quite the hair-care bill, but I'm sure he's willing toupee for it.
It seems that everyone on the internet is Russian to say good things about him.
After his inauguration speech, everyone gave him a big hand.
His favorite winter Olympic event is the LYUUUUGE!
The other half of his supporters can be described with ancient, mystical legends: the Deep Lore-ables.
Nobody will be able to use cheap cotton drapes or table cloths after his ban on muslins.
Since the start of the cold war, many U.S. presidents have pissed off the Russians. Trump is the first to be accused of pissing ON them.
I subscribed to his newsletter because I never turn down a free MAGA-zine subscription.
Melania got used to everyone crowded into Trump Tower during the campaign. Now that everyone's gone, she looks around and it's just a little Barron.
Joke that inspired me is here : https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/5p4ebt/on_donald_trumps_inaguration/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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