I was talking with my friends about the best way to cross a lake

We were debating Row vs. Wade

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👤︎ u/Fenix17933
📅︎ May 03 2022
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Do you know what is, objectively, the best lake in the world?

Superior

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📅︎ Oct 25 2021
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I wouldn't rank the Great Lakes from best to worst...

But one of them is definitely Superior.

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👤︎ u/timmshady
📅︎ Apr 22 2019
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The last time I had to worry about Roe V Wade, it was because my dad was threatening to throw me out of a canoe!

Hey hey ho ho

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📅︎ May 04 2022
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A friend of mine sent me this.

Qso there's a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake, the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy. prosperous people, the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuable resource to have, the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night the knights in the second kingdom aren't as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it, he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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📅︎ Jan 14 2022
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Help please

Guys,

Some word play for inviting guests to our new nest/house please?

Its by a lake and my house warming party/puja is themed roses.

Thanks . You guys the best

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📅︎ Sep 13 2021
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Halloween Puns

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ May 27 2017
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Wedding Puns

The funniest and cutest wedding puns by Puns Ville

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.


Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right so I left


Marriage is: Finding the one person to ANNOY for the rest of your life!


To some, marriage is a word. To others, a sentence.


When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.


Honeymoon: The holiday a man takes before he begins to work for a new boss.


When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.


An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.


Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe


To many girls think the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.


Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!


Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant and he was glowing.


Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.


Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.


When a psychic showed me the girl I’ll marry, it was love at second sight.


The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.


At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’


After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ The husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.’


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’.  Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’


When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second marriage is

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ Apr 26 2017
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Fish Puns

Within animal puns, we provide you the funniest bundle of fish puns

What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”


Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net


Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!


What do you call a fish with a tie? soFISHticated


What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!


How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles


Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!


Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.


What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.


What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna


Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.


What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.


Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her? To fish for compliments.


What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Good morning ladies.


What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall? Damn!


Whats the best way to catch a fish? Have some one thow it at you.


How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.


What happens when you drink like a fish? You piss like a fire hose.


Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just Squidding.


What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!


What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”


Why don’t fish like basketball? Cause they’re afraid of the net


Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!


What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan shark!


How do you make an Octupus laugh? With ten-tickles


Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!


Why don’t fish play basketball? Because there afraid of the net.


What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.


What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna


Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.


What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you cannot tuna fish.


Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ Apr 30 2017
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The Three Kingdoms

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Apr 16 2015
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